iBankCoin

Enter the Gurus

When markets go down, everyone who’s been bearish for the past 4 years will remind you how smart they are, like a blue moon, becoming relevant only on rare occasions. You’re not stupid. This is a real hard tape. If you first started to invest over the past year, you’ve been initiated with one fucked up market after the next. These “miscreants”, as I like to call them, will offer you #timestamps and chant mantras, like “Wall Street 2.0”; but they’re no different than anyone else who has tried their hand at finance, for the last 200 years.

The game is always the same, only the starring actors change.

Today the market is run by HFT’s and multi-billion dollar hedge funds, who all buy the same shit. There is a specific group of liquid large cap stocks that are favored by the managing elite. We like to call them “hedge fund hotels.” When stocks like AAPL, ORCL, PCLN and CMG get damaged, it inflicts carnage upon a wide range of funds. When the pressure gets too severe, as is the case with AAPL, capitulation happens and prices exaggerate to the downside.

Over the past 4 years it has been wise to buy carnage. Do so incrementally and hold your breath. This time might be different, due to “the fiscal cliff” and Obama going “full commy” on our dumbasses. But odds are, as much as I hate stocks right now, Benjamin Bernanke will save the day.

I imagine Ben lamped up in a dimly lit drawing room, smoking a blunt filled with marijuana, hysterically laughing to himself, saying “these bitches think it’s over. I’m gonna get them real good this time” (puff, puff, poof).

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60 comments

  1. Patrick

    That blunt is laced with pcp.

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  2. Bottle Rocket

    Ben Bernake admitted there is nothing else he can do and that this is now a policy problem. What exactly do you expect him to do?

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    • The Fly

      What he has been doing for the past 4 years.

      Buy billions worth of SPY futures and jack the market higher.

      It’s called POMO.

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      • DMA

        why does Blunt Ben care anymore? The King has been re-elected. Doesn’t need to keep the fiction going.

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        • The Fly

          Because Ben like to reflate. That’s what he does.

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          • asteroids

            I thought you said felate. Gotta clean my glasses.

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          • Sloop

            DMA is right. Re=election is all they were after on last QE3. The market is on its own now. PLUS welcome to the start of WW III

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        • fake amish

          Agreed. The eurotards are the rule here. Fucking fools. Why would the clam risk a total confidence loss now?

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          • fake amish

            The politicians will be blamed.

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          • fake amish

            To clarify. The clam will come in as the saving grace. The politicians will be the patsy. When the clam steps up is the question. The europeans are openly laughed at now. That is something the clam does not want.

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  3. sspiff

    I’m gonna’ get dem bitches.

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  4. fake amish

    Senor Fly do you respect Mark Fabers swing trade calls? The guy nailed the 2006 bottom. So the perma bearshitter suit does not really fit.

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  5. Mr. Partridge

    Agree on everything but buying carnage..If you told me that in 2007 I’d say all right let’s buy this tape, but after 2008 I know we can wake up next week 1500 points lower.. easy… so I’d wait for this cliff horseshit to resolve itself…
    Frankly I am curious what will happen if we go over the cliff and since I enjoy your writing may be you can come up with some apocalyptic scenario ..

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    • The Fly

      There is no banking crisis. Apples and oranges, pussy.

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      • Mr. Partridge

        yep… who’s to say fascial cliff, euro fallout, war on middle east are better than banking crisis and . .what about US treasuries potential blow-out, Chinese new government policies and most of all – what about US president who doesn’t need to do anything any more..
        there’s nothing wrong with pussy these days 🙂

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    • Highsurf

      Rollo – probably closer to 1/4 at around 27B in 2011. Still, it’s outrageous.

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  6. RBM411

    Fly – For the past 5 years I’ve been reading you even though I’m well over the age limit. Every time I think your starting to lose your mind or getting ready to yell fire in the packed theater, you write a post like this and I just smile.

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  7. TraderCaddy

    Sounds like those “hedge fund hotels” buying the specific large cap liquid stocks is more like a roach motel (pest control).
    Easy to check in but not so easy to check out.

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  8. KCTrader

    2008 [Once in a Blue Moon] was the value investors dream of a life time…. 4 years of uptrend and a huge pullback is needed from overvalued areas….. Big companies cut cost to the bone and now the unemployed cannot buy their products and earnings will go down …. Next Blue Moon…. the 2nd Great Recession….. Developing……..

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  9. Bullish

    BUY EVERYTHING! Real soon. It’s almost turkey day ya know.

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  10. Cascadian

    Obama is not a commie! It’s just that some of his proposals seem socialist in direction…. but he’s no socialist! Just ask any Obama supporter. The idea he is a socialist is just crazy!

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    • fake amish

      Really? How does adding the biggest gov socialist program(0care) to the debt while pumping a wealth(250k? why not 245K? or 240k or 200k or whatever number is popular enough as a class warfare thing) tax on top of the reality of record foodstamp participation. What do you think socialism is?

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  11. JTU

    DDD-3D Systems Announces Conference Call and Webcast to Discuss Recent Articles
    http://www.3dsystems.com/press-releases/3d-systems-announces-conference-call-and-webcast-discuss-recent-articles?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+3dSystemsRssNewsFeed+%283D+Systems+RSS+News+Feed%29
    I hope they deliver a final blow to all the short sellers out there. I applaud DDD for standing up for their shareholders.

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  12. Stack

    Whenever I read a sentence that starts with Ben in a dimly lit room, it makes me laugh every time. I know whats coming next, but it doesn’t matter. The words used vary ever so slightly, just to change it up a little from time to time. Fly, when Ben unleashes the fury, I submit “The Chairman’s Gorilla Finger Ash” as a possible title. Rampant pessimism followed by futures up huge over night? The CGFA has been activated.

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  13. Narwahl

    Hedged funds

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  14. BobbyBoucher

    Didn’t you mean to write (puff, puff, give)?

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  15. buylo

    Socialist? socialistic? we must get rid of or privatize Social Security right away! Yes, liqidate it. Better yet, let the bankers and wall streeters run it for us so we can all get rich. Lets call it Bankers Security.

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    • fake amish

      Stop fucking whining. See you at the register faking a debit card. If you want it all to be equal move to fucking Greece. The so called wealthy are over this nonsense. Try building wealth with only the losers playing in the casino.

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  16. Baron the Barbar, Saint Clause, Herzog upon Wynnsor

    Make it a V.King day.

    Every day!

    Kingship 101:111

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  17. Hammy

    Wonder what’s going to happen to my job if/when the sequester hits.

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    • The Pirate

      Hammy, JFSIB (Just food stamp it baby), soylent green, Euthenasia, black helicopters and no free speech – embrace the future 🙂

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  18. Raise Taxes, Raise Spending
    Raise Taxes, Raise Spending

    Years of 1% interest rates, trillion dollar QE’s, out of control government debts in most of the “wealthy” countries.
    It feels like a movie I saw as a kid, can’t remember the name, where water is piling higher and higher behind the Hoover dam. There is this hope that the dam will hold until some way is found to slowly let the water out, but the dam starts to crack, then leaks appear, then the dam bursts and the water roars down the canyon destroying everything.

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    • fake amish

      No way. A lot of reasonable peeps got bamboozled. There is no fucking class war. You have been propagandized. Most of the Ibankcoin family that has bought the snake oil is young. For a bunch of highly indebted kids to buy the lie so easily is depressing. But this is america. Thank the stock gods that the eurotards have their own rock.

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      • fake amish

        Wake up Raise. There is no fire between the so called wealthy and the middle class. You have been played.

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  19. Trading_Nymph

    It’s not just Ben, Its the clams around the world..King, Draghai, Stevens, the China Govt, etc….I always think they hit bottom and won’t act anymore, then some HISTORICAL moves come out of them. I am going to be this Bear and enjoy my moment cuz there has to be a turning point when Clams finally give up..we will see.

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    • Duke

      You gotta be insolvent if you’ve been short this whole time. Why not rotate long and short? Why do people like you wish destruction? Yes, the bill has to be paid, but why relish the destruction of so many lives when the time comes!

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      • fake amish

        Puke. Is the pathetic aggression towards others beyond your control? The Nymph has commited no crime. What is it with you fair share people. Did your dog not like you when you were a child, also?

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        • Trading_Nymph

          Duke, I hedged with Gold. This is a bubble imho, all started with the China Govt buying huge amounts of copper in 2009..bubbles always pop, spotting them and understanding what ends them is priceless….Fake Amish, A lot of bloggers to this to me. As Jim Cramer and James A. once told me in 2007, Welcome to the Club.

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  20. Sloop

    I FIRED my Gardner today. I know he voted for Obama. So I told him I cant afford him anymore because of the re-election of Obama. I am hiring a republican Gardner

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