The Ultimate Sucker

JP Morgan has reached a deal to pay the government $13 bill in extortion, even after the fact that they effectively saved western finance through the bailouts of numerous failed banks–including Bear Stearns and Washington Mutual.

I don’t know what the government has on Jamie Dimon, but he’s doling out record payments to the US treasury for reasons unbeknowst to anyone at all. The proceeds of the new government windfall will likely fund left wing, degenerate projects, perhaps hypodermic needles for struggling actors and artists or condoms for teenagers. Either way, this is redistribution of wealth on a record scale, sacking half of JPM’s annual earnings without a fight.

Doesn’t Jamie Dimon have a fiduciary responsibility to protect the capital of his bank? Remember, this is the guy who volunteered to hold the feces filled bag of Bear and Wamu for the government, much to the chagrin of his shareholders. Fast forward a few years, post crisis: this is the thanks he gets from the O.

Back to the markets: I am almost all out of YELP. I got lucky and started selling first thing this morning. I love the company, very much so, but feel emotional drawn to the refiners now. Therefore, I am shifting my focus away from the richly valued social media space to oil, ahead of earnings.

Top picks: HK, ALJ, BALT.

Ever since I was a young boy, playing amongst the oil derricks and barrels, I knew I’d grow up to be an oil man. Over the course of my illustrious career, on numerous occasions, I’ve thought about “going back to the well”  and have taken stakes in many companies with success.

Well, this morning I am pleased to announce “The Fly’s” reentry, officially, into the world of black gold. I pared down my YELP position to be something of an after-thought, mere child’s play, and have sold out of all TRLA. With the proceeds, I’ve acquired shares of ALJ and HK.

I did so with unremitting vigor and tenacity and will continue to do so for as long as I live.

I sold out of TRLA. With the procceds, I am looking to buy discounts.

UPDATE: I sold some of my YELP position.

With this morning’s move lower in WTI crude, the Brent-WTI spread is now more than $10 again. Just a short while ago Brent traded at a discount to WTI, causing many to flee the refiners, scared of their own shadows. However, now that the spread is widening again, Mid-continent refiners are back in play, the rage of Wall St.

As such, Goldman Ball-Sachs upgraded DK this morning. I expect all refiners to trade higher today, and for many weeks to come, which is why I went long ALJ on Friday (time machine).

Other refiners worth exploring are ALDW, TSO, HFC, WNR, PSX, MPC and CVI.

As for ALJ, with 29% of the shares sold short and spreads widening again, I predict extreme hardship for those embedded in a bearish position here. The stock can easily rise to a level seen just 6 months ago, or $17.

With the SPY +3.8% for the month of October, I think we can rule out a seasonal fall calamity. The last time the SPY went up 3% or more, during October, was in 2010, 2006 and 2003. After a strong October, the SPY traded flat in 2010 at 0.0%, up 1.98% in 2006 and up 1.1% in 2003 in the month of November.

HOWEVER, in December the mood turned quasi-pornographic, with +5.03% in 2003, +1.34% in 2006 and an outrageous 6.68% in 2010.

In other words, based on recent historical factors, the market is only getting warmed up now, setting up for a rather libertine end to 2013.

Fun fact: the market used to trade on Saturdays, from 10am to 12pm, from 1873 all the way to 1952.

(Click on picture for full article)

This story was written in August of 1929, two months prior to the historic stock market crash that led to the great depression. The moral of the story is, don’t get caught up in the rhetoric and trust nothing.

What more can I say?

I went deeper into leverage into the bell, buying ALJ. As my equity rises, so does my buying power. Hence, I made ALJ a 3% position today, with the intent to add to it. Crack spreads are improving. But more importantly, the BRENT-WTI spread is widening. There’s also a shot at some congressional epa type action that might ignite the sector on fire. If you don’t know what it is, I suggest spending this weekend doing some research, you lazy bums.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=weX2PeqnvVI

Fully recovered from yesterday’s barbaric losses of making just 0.3%, “The Fly”, ever so gallantly, sashayed (no HOMO, it was done with black coffee in tow) throughout his offices today, celebrating gains. His almighty positions in YELP and TRLA have, once again, yielding magnanimous results. All thanks and praise to the heavens and the Gods of stock for making these wins possible. I devour my enemies whole (no cannibal) in your honour.

I am pressing, mind you, ahead by 3% today. My good colleagues and peers over at 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict are basking in their own glory, as the company time machine is being used rather proficiently and without need for repair.

At the offices of Le Fly, as he’s famously known in France, the black coffee is flowing, rather freely. Gangster rap music is in abundance (extra bass), accompanied by the occasional symphony, preparing for the weekend ahead when unchecked hedonism will take place at The House of Fly. Prepare for healthy servings of the reddest meats and wines the world has to offer. As we unwind our positions, riches will be had for the explicit purposes of consumerism, the finest things in life (extra Treu).

Gentlemen, take your pocket squares out and prepare to use them to wipe the blood from your faces as we rip to shreds the very last bastion of pessimistic bearshitter, residing in the darkest corners of the earth.

Let there be light!

Amen.

Mass has ended. Go in peace.

UPDATE: I added to my NSTG position.

Just terrific earnings out of GOOG and MS. I find zero reasons to sell stocks; therefore, I shall remain committed, at an honest and respectable 130% long of my assets under management.

I am certain there are some of you out there who believe I am being reckless by utilizing leverage. Many of you are scared pigeons, flying around without beaks. “The Fly” doesn’t subscribe to courses of action that are of the cowardice vein. I want my gains and I want them to be oversized. Leave me inside Obama’s matrix, where stocks do nothing but levitate, thanks to the computer program BERNANKE.

I will enjoy gains in several stocks today, namely my largest position, YELP; which, might I add, is trading at a paltry 25x sales.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61YbN5ECVdA

In the after-hours, GOOG humiliated analysts estimates and broke the faces of short sellers in half. The stock is up more than $70, well on its way to $1,000. During yesterday’s session, I lost money by only making 0.3%. This is an unequivocal tragedia¡

Two of my top 5 positions are involved with the world wide web. YELP is trading cheaply, at just 25x sales, while TRLA trades at an astonishingly low 16x. From my mouth to God’s ears, both names will blow the barnyard doors off analyst estimates and toss subsequent short sellers, looking for a ‘quick fade’, into ‘fag boxes.’

From time to time, it’s easy to lose the faith, become fearful of losing money due to success. A great man once said: “success has defeated you.” I do not take my success lightly and will gallop towards the enemy with the same zeal as the brave soldiers who scalped to death the men who were under the command of General Custer.