Futures are flat this morning with a slight bias to the upside, which can mean only one thing: significant downside “pinaction” in all of my names.
I’d like to take this opportunity to give a “shout out” to YELP for trading down a buck plus in the pre. I’d also like to acknowledge SPLK and say “where the hell do you think you’re going?”, up in the pre, when it should be lower by 6%. Shout out to FEYE for providing myself– and my family– with some big ass capital losses. I couldn’t have done it without you. Last but not least, I am delighted to see WDAY getting drilled into the dirt, a company whose management hasn’t missed an earnings estimate in two decades. This has truly been one of the great surprises of my life and I wouldn’t be where I am today without any of you wonderful stocks.
I won’t be making my money back anytime soon. As a matter of fact, it was never my money to begin with, if you really want to get technical. I am up 100’s of percentile since 2004 (my last down year), so taking my recent setback into a larger context: this is nothing more than child’s play (extra puma punku).
You know what annoys me? WordPress’ spell correct. These stupid bastards constantly get in the way of my blogging literature and it’s starting to really piss me off. That, and the fact that my arm keeps spazzing out, twitching like I have cerebral pals–I feel as if I was in “Black Hell”, burning until my skins turns into black toast– fire, destruction, crashing pianos overhead. This is my world, chaos, and I am its host.
What would you have me do? Shall I go venture off and look at the charties and implement stop loss orders on stocks that I am already 20% in the hole? Or maybe I should “go to cash” or perhaps “rotate out of good companies into the bad ones” because the fucking brain trust that is Wall Street “feels” it’s a good idea.
Shall I cackle like a hyena and bAAAAAAAA like a sheep when I do it?
Bear market. People think this is it: this is the one. After all, the market is only at NEW ALL TIME HIGHS, so it makes sense to believe this is the peak, the very tippy top that shall never be breached again, just like 2001 and 2008, but 6.02214X x 10^23rd stronger.
How bad is the damage to my boat?
It’s not fatal, but it’s bad enough that I haven’t looked at my profit and loss for a week. I do the numbers in my head and have a round about idea of how stupid I am. I think, if I’m not mistaken, I was down anywhere from 2-3% today, spared thanks to strength in EGRX, ANGI, FLXN and a few others.
I haven’t any recommendations for you tonight (I am so very sorry), as I eagerly awaiting the locust storms to settle in above my head, delivering heinous earnings shortfalls and guidance cuts, the likes that hasn’t been seen since the outlook for tulips in the spring of 1637.
I’m done. There must be some sort of lunar-linked conspiracy to rid me of any semblance of money, leaving me to become a vagabond scoundrel–fit to roam the streets for food. This isn’t any way to make a decent living, troubling myself with rapish declines in “the very best stocks.” I do have some offsetting measures today, in stocks that I do not dare mention on the free blog for fear that my conspirators might plunge them too. But this is entirely evident to me, as well as others (HORATION CLAWHAMMER, PLUTONIUM PETEY, SENOR TROPICANA) that something is seriously amiss here.
How in the devil could SPLK, FEYE, WDAY and YELP all be down 5%+, on the same day, without news, and with a neutral market? I must be losing my mind because I can’t think of any reasonable conclusions. True, there is weakness in a number of growth names, in favour for the non-growth names; but this, this is too much.
I hereby lift the burden of having to deal with my problems from you forever. Go, go on and run away. Leave and save yourself from whatever plague, black death, that has afflicted me. At this stage, I can only offer you pain and agony and the bitter taste of defeat.
I’m the guy with the broken leg telling his friend to “go on without me” as the enemy horde closes in for the kill. Save yourselves, God damn it, and remember the good days when we used to make money on the internets–playing the game the way it was meant to be played.
For all I know, it’s those damned HFT guys rigging the market against me again.
High growth names are being whipped in the face today, one day after a respite. This is the very worst case scenario and reaffirms my position that these stocks need to be filtered through earnings season. The only thing that will shut you idiots up, for good, is massive upside beats. Anything less than that will just lead to more of the same, inane buying into “old tech” stocks like WDC and MSFT, while ignoring where growth lives.
I like the news out of AMZN, as Bezos continues to take over the world. I will buy more if it trades down.
My top performer today is ANGI; but it’s not a very large position.
In short, I am being whipped about the face and chest today, after talking trash this morning, half bragging about my fantastic positions, defeated once again by victory.
Would you rather roll into earnings with MCD in your portfolios over SPLK? Clearly, the high growth names must be trying to tell us something, no? Is there a secret economic slowdown that we aren’t privy to, causing people to sell off high growth names? Or, are people simply retarded?
Early this morning, AFOP guided up and told short sellers to die. I’ve been bullish on the name in the past and rode through a most horrendous earnings miss last quarter. Well, they’ve redeemed themselves, being a key provider of fiber to the Google network.
I like my chances running into earnings long FEYE, YELP, WDAY and SPLK. These companies are winners and are down big in recent weeks. Any upside surprise will result in an immediate melt up.
Futures are flat early going, but there is strength in the aforementioned names.
I just got through talking with some of my left-tenants about the market and we’ve concluded that “all that was bad shall become good again.”
There is at least 30 points of upside in SPLK. Did you think the government would cease collecting meta-data, arresting people for texting their friends criminally minded messages? No, they will not cease collecting data and SPLK is going to make a King’s ransom by delving into your privacy.
Also, let’s not forget about FEYE, the one company that was able to save TGT from embarrassing itself from the largest data breach in the history of human existence.
Did we forget about Yelp.com? Is anyone interested in grabbing a bite at an “unreviewed” eatery? I didn’t think so.
The market ebbs and flows between greed and fear.
Now that the fear part is over with, I suspect to see greedy trolls crawl out from under the trees in attempt to make some money again.
You know my picks and I am not deviating from the plan.
The S&P 500 is at new all-time highs. Putin is eating jars of borscht, disinterested in the Ukraine. And U.S. economic growth is perfect, not too hot, nor too cold. The spring is here and Janet Yellen is a dove. What more do you want? Do I need to hop on a plane, appear at your office, strike you with a claw hammer, and take control of your book? Get drunk; buy stocks.
After all, what could go wrong?
Look, I already gave you my analysis at the market bottom. Did you heed my warnings or give into your fears? If you chose the latter, do not feel bad, for it is human nature to avoid conflict, unless of course you belong to the Tea Party.
All of my stocks seem to be up $3, from AMZN to YELP to FEYE to WDAY. Hopefully SPLK, EGRX and IFON can get going here. But I am not concerned in the least bit and I’ll tell you why. The market is at new highs, which means every index short is down. Not only that, momentum stocks have underperformed, which can lead to a very interesting rotation out of the large cap 52 week high list back into the FEYE, SPLK and the YELPs of the world.
Why would anyone do that you ask?
Because they are the very best stocks in America. They aren’t the best stocks because they’ve gone up the most or because they have the best prospects. They are the best because that’s what they are, no different from the fact that you are a man, therefore own a penis.
The best time to buy the very best stocks is anytime. Remember that for as long as you live. Pass this wisdom down to your children and prepare them for a life of wonder and splendor. Back to work.
I’ve seen this before and it always ends the same way: a great wave of optimism washes over the blood left behind from the selling, leading to a fresh round of panic buying, as investors jockey to position themselves into high growth names that were unduly sold off. As sure as I am sitting here, annoyed by the illegal mexicans in the yard, this is going to happen.
All of the people who sold short will be executed. Their heads will be used, by children, as soccer balls, tossed about in the streets for the dogs to play with. All of the pessimism will magically morph into this great perversion of opportunity. Men will toss themselves into lit fireplaces, wrapped with burlap coats, in order to avoid the agony of another failed bear raid.
In the spirit of freedom from oppression, inspired by the great people of Russia and their fearless leader Vladimir Gorbachev Putin, I hereby decree that all gates upon the iBC moat be taken down and bridges be built to let the people, political prisoners and the misanthropic, to be given free access to the iBC kingdom and all of its grandeur.
This being April, officially the end to what has been a most unbearable winter, I felt it was necessary to thaw relations between myself and the thousands of you whom I’ve held in captivity since 2007. That being said, I hope you relish in your new found freedom in the same manner that you pranced around your house as a young boy or girl, always mindful of a father figure lurking in the shadows, prepared, if necessary, to courrect you should it be deemed necessary.
Tonight I bring you nothing but public messages of delight and joy and will speak nothing about the market and the bastards who “rig” it. We will not cast aspersions upon those unleveling the playing field, attempting to forcefully grab our coin, for we are a generous people, humble and only interested in community and humanity. Yes, indeud.
I dare say, let the high frequency traders snatch .0001 from our trades until they get bored or too rich to be interested in such an endeavor.
Enough about this business and let’s celebrate the release of the depraved from the cellars of iBankCoin!
March was a death knell for me, spearheaded by EGRX, FEYE, WDAY and SPLK to the downside. I like my chances here for a reversal in said names. Remember, keep your eyes on N for the tell on this tape. It was down on Friday and foretold the weakness to follow.
Here are some seasonality picks for you. My opinion on seasonality is as follows: it is a novelty stat and very interesting. I do believe there are reasons why certain stocks do well during specific times of the year. You just have to do the extra legwork to find out why they are going up.
The full list is now in The PPT. Here are some highlights.
April seasonality picks (stocks that have gone up 75% of the time in April)
ALB
VSI
ULTA
CL
HLF
SLB
BAS
WFT
UPL
SWN
LL
FLT
MA
SODA
