Warren Buffet Says to Buy Stocks

I always love when Becky Quick, who seems to have an exclusive arrangement with olde Warren, pulls him out from the woodworks, for an interview, during times of crisis. So here we are, the markets within spitting distance of an all-time high, the world on edge due to Russia, and olde Warren says to ignore The Ukraine. His track record is unmatched. His genius has been documented, even though he’s stupid enough to drink Coca-cola every day, and chew on cheeseburgers in his spare time. If I was a jerk off, right now I’d say “but I digress.” However, I am not and will spare you from that nonsense.

At any rate, Jim Cramer agrees with Warren. This is “your opportunity” to get long, following Friday’s dip.

This is crazy talk from people with net worths higher than 99% of the world, in Warren’s case 100% of the world. For the average Joe, the guy reading iBankCoin from his housing tenement shared computer terminal, this market spells danger. You should be concerned with world events, as they have a way of affected the lives of real people (yes, Germans are people too). Even if the end result is a lot to do about nothing, there might be some face jarring volatility in the interim, the sort of downtick that all but wipes out the guy leveraged into World War (oh, that would be me).

Warren Buffet will probably be right. But he’s biased, with most of his net worth tied up in the market. Trade the market in front of you and be patient when everyone else is panicking. The first flush is rarely the big one, if that makes any sense at all (it certainly does not!).

Gold, silver, crude and natty are all higher. The yen is strong and German futures seem to be getting hit the hardest, down 1.3%, as all forms of imperialism circle back to the Nazi state. As we speak, negotiations are underway to give Russia another Olympics in order to “save Crimea.”

Stay tuned for more terrible news.

Instead of preparing for the special olympics, Putin has decided to invade The Ukraine (Crimea), which is mostly comprised of Russian loyalists. It’s probably not going to end there, as his excuse for “slavic unity” spells doom for many regions of the country, awfully reminiscent of what Hitler used to say back in the 30’s.

Europe can’t doing anything, as Russia holds their nuts in a vise, being the main supplier of natural gas in the region. The United Steaks can’t operate inside of The Ukraine, as we are far too busy playing with the rocks and sand in Afghanistan. The Ukraine is alone on this one, which is of no surprise. The people who revolted against the government knew this would happen, as Russia could not stand idle as their position in the Black Sea came under threat from what they saw as a “ultra-nationalist” movement in The Ukraine. The end result is Crimea likely to be annexed by Russia and The Ukraine going bankrupt.

As for stocks, I would expect this to jar markets early on, especially Russian stocks. There is always the threat of sanctions against Russia and/or expulsion from the G-8. Just today, Marco Rubio called Russia “an enemy of the United States.” I swear these chicken-hawk politicians have the brains the size of chick-peas. What sort of response is Mr. Rubio expecting out of Putin? Incendiary comments like that should be reserved for the ultra-idiots at the State Department, who’ve managed to bungle one international event after the next, with amazing impunity and immune to domestic criticism.

Our leaders are children.

Enemy: everyone is a god damned enemy of the United States. Meanwhile, back on the reservation, we’re attacking everyone, on a whim and without a care in the world. The second someone else attacks another country, BAM, it’s Hitler circa 1930’s all over again. Mobilize the troops and reunite NATO (like Voltron, only bigger). Also, get that missile shield up and ready. Who knows what sort of insidious tricks that KGBster, Vladimir Putin, aka “The Red Liar”, is up to now with his evil cohorts?

This is idiot talk.

Buy the dip.

Russia isn’t invading The Ukraine. Russia isn’t doing anything, but practicing ballet and playing the piano.  War has been reserved for the savage barbarian tribes of North America, whose space alien technology permits them to cast a very wide net on an even winder swath of territory, mostly for sport, sometimes for freedom.

Stocks sold off earlier today due to inbreds spreading rumors of a Russian advance on The Ukraine. More importantly, momo stocks, like SALE, were getting the business all day long. Very simply, this is how hot markets behave. You get devilish swings and evil short sellers gunning for your favourite names with “retard strength.” Ignore these periods as mere “child’s play” and take up a game of chess instead.

We are in the midst of a fantastic bull run. There will be setbacks; but I am convinced, on the lives of you and all of your generations to come, that the Iron Curtain Wall at 1,850 will be penetrated, with extreme violence and perversion, very, very soon.

For the day, like a slob, I lost 0.9%–thanks to reversals in SPLK and SALE.

I can’t find any news, other than the fact that Coupons.com is coming public next week. Perhaps demand is weak, following their roadshow? Maybe people are just taking profits? Call me a cynic, but I don’t believe 8% moves to the downside happen without a reason. For me, it doesn’t matter what happens to the stock in the near term. It’s all noise.

If you recall how I got crushed when I originally bought YELP at $18, I felt like dying when it touched down at $13 for a minute.  When people panicked the most, the greatest opportunity was there. I view all IPOs in the same vein. These companies are not trusted yet. They’ve yet to establish a hardcore shareholder base.

With time and performance, those things will happen. Until then, unfortunately, price swings are to be expected, even if it’s for no reason. There could be a Seeking Alpha article in the works. Who knows?

The bottom line is: the naysayers will be wrong on this one. Retailers need SALE more than ever and I am betting for much higher prices, 6 months from now. The trick is, at least for me, remaining interested enough to hold the name that long.

Momentum names are coming in, namely YELP, SPLK, SALE–amongst others. Do not be a zealot and buy them now. Bide your time and plot out an entry strategy. These stocks are winners and are not done going higher. I am not worried about SALE or SPLK, not only because I am confident about the eventual outcome, but also because I am broadly diversified. I haven’t owned this many stocks in awhile.

Just to recap, my largest holding is EZPW, followed by SPLK, SALE, MA, BBBY and GNC. I have other holdings in IFON, IMUC, ARGS, BLOX, ANGI, NUS, FB, SPCB, just to name a few. I am up almost 10% for the year and that has afforded me the latitude to be patient, to endure the volatility, unlike many of my great competitors who end up blown to pieces on market corrections.

In summary, if you’re feeling pressured due to pullbacks, fix your allocations. The market is going to rip higher in March, so prepare for it.

UPDATE: I added to SALE, as it’s off nearly $3.

Allocating funds into speculation, not because I am attracted to it, but because I can.

I bought ARGS, VICL and SPCB, with ARGS being my favorite of the 3.

SPLK is $100 rollin’ this morning. For you home gamers unfamiliar out there with the industry term: it denotes a stock breaking the magical $100 threshold, by which its avarice for further upside movement gains rapidly, typically leading to a slam dunk trade up to $104-106.

Dear Stock Gods,

Please induce the misfits at Seeking Alpha or Citron Research to write scathing articles about YELP and SPLK. Whisper to them devastating rumors and kindly ask them to provide the public with information that might scare them into selling both stocks, especially since SPLK just “missed” earnings. Embolden them to become dastardly, aggressively negative on these companies and I will forever be in your debt.

Also, if I might be sold bold, can you please wash the memories of people who read Seeking Alpha, so that they will not remember this, this and of course this?

That’d be great, thanks.

Silly me, I almost forgot this.

10,000 praises to the all exalted stock Gods. I shall sacrifice three goats and one elderly human in your honour.

Boldly and unforgivingly,

Le Fly

You’d be surprised by my answer, the man who sold 2 million shares of FTK at $4.5, or the guy who blew out of YELP in the $60’s. More recently, I sold out of CRTO, only to see it skyrocket higher. By the way, CRTO is a major competitor to GOOG Adsense and should be considered in every long term portfolio.

But let me tell you my answer, quite frankly, I couldn’t care any less about selling stocks that go higher than you catamites care to fornicate.

The market is the ultimate challenge for me. Sure, it’d be nice to just sit back, slothing about the office like some guy from Blackrock, lazily managing money in the name of “long term investing.” But “The Fly” isn’t about that life, frankly. He’s about driving the Mack Truck filled with positrons into the god damned building filled with hydrogen bombs. Each and every time I sell a winner, I am motivated to find another one. You plebs should take note of this and use it to your financial advantage. I’ve been given a talent, bestowed down to me by celestial beings, under the auspices of financial engineering, to make money trading equities. I don’t care for options, bonds or anything else for that matter. I take money, leverage it to the hilt, and hit lotto.

Top picks: EZPW, SALE, SPLK