IT’S TIME FOR THE BOW TIE TO PAY THE PIPER

No, farmers aren’t driving lambos and it would’ve been a spectacularly stupid idea to leave your NYC condo for a fucking farm house in Nebraska. Commodities are in the midst of being ‘normalized.’ The great inflation scare, spurred on by feverish Chinese growth and then Fed QE, has ended. China is back to being a garbage economy and the Fed is chilling, atop 100’s of billions in bond market gains, unrealized, from the dark days of 2009.

I felt it’d be apropos, given we’ve almost lapsed 5 years since Jim Rogers’ incredibly inane prediction on commodities, to have a look under the hood of the raw commodity complex.

Five Year Returns

Oil -56%

Natural Gas -82%

Sugar -52%

Uranium -51%

Cotton +14.5%

Coal -61%

Copper -28%

Silver -11%

Wheat -43%

Corn -35%

Timber +42%

Gold +7%

Palladium +21%

Cocoa -21%

Coffee -21%

Don’t fuck with Dr. Bernanke.

SNDK is being gutted, alongside a myriad of oiled stocks. Breadth stands at 34% and biotech seems to be the last bastion of hope for this bulled up market. Then again, I envision the peni guillotine to come down upon those who chase medicine man stocks up here. Let’s not forget how Penny Dreadful those biotech declines can be.

Tanker stocks are catching onto main stream Wall Streeters. I invite them to BEHOLD the glory that is NNA, for its share price is absurdly undervalued.

Homebuilders are holding their erection and there are pockets of strength in software names. It’s a traders tape, certainly not something to invite Grandma to play with her retirement funds.

The Dow’d Jones will smash through 22,000 this year, amidst celebratory champagne corks exploding into the faces of those who bet against stocks. But, before we get there, games will be played and men with jelly donut faces will be ruined, tossed out from windows into idle sewer pipes.

This tape isn’t for your grandmother.

Trade with vigor and please expedite your tragic ending, so that the rest of us can begin enjoying this cheap gasoline fueled market.

It’s all over for you crude motherfuckers. The price of oil is dropping precipitously, emboldening our viagra filled congressmen to raise the fucking gas tax to astronomical levels, for the sake of your highways, roads and the bridges. After all, those roads aren’t gonna build themselves (insert gun shooting head pic here).

On the Twitter I’ve been discussing this matter, as well as many other important matters, and have been met each time with seemingly concerned citizens who are ardent supporters of higher taxes on your gasoline. After all, the country cannot stand for the middle to poor classes  to bask in the glory of cheap gasoline for a driving season. Immediately, we must press our hot irons onto their faces and declare “those roads aren’t gonna build themselves!”

After further inspection, these lads on the Twitter are nothing more than DC lobbyists, taking to social media, trying to convince the lower class folk to support castration and other policies that literally take food off the dinner table and into the fat bellies of scumbag construction bosses.

So oil is down the tubes and futures are slowly but surely giving it all up, whore style.

On the plus side, biotechs are the shit. NPSP, FMI, TKMR and others are through the roof. On that FMI deal, I like NSTG.

Look, I’m very happy that oil is dropping and all of the clowns working in the Bakken shale are going to be told to fuck off soon. But there is going to be some fall out, some ass-tarded bank who lent too much money to multiple bad actors (extra Orange is the new Black). Expect ruinous quarterly losses for some of your favorite oil stocks and spastically gay stock price pin action. Other than that, everything is peachy!

I’d like to thank our friends in OPEC for granting mercy on the American populous by lowering the price of crude oil. Although America has drilled oil every which way but loose, this great expansion in industrialism has netted zero advantages for my country, with exception to a few modern day oil barons like the Koch (cock) Brothers.

You say ‘Never Again‘ and I say ‘thank you very much’; please shut down our stupid shale production areas.

If buying oil exclusive from the great OPEC means $2.00 gasoline, I say fuck US oil production and let the good times roll.

This isn’t anything to run away from. There aren’t boogeymen (sp?) under your desks. It’s natural for man to fear, stockpile on rations, then lash out and kill his neighbors. We are a paranoid species; but a benevolent one–in the big scheme of things.

I remain stoic in my opinion that we are living through a renaissance of innovation, a period of great enlightenment, that will be reflected upon for thousands of years. They will point to this period of time, the merger between man and artificial intelligence, helped by computers, as the beginning of an era that ushered in ever-lasting gains in productivity and improvements in quality of life.

From medicine to the camera on your head, you are fortunate to be living now, so quit bitching and seeing the worst in things.

We are going, the fuck, higher.

I bought shares of MUSA and TA, after cutting loose long term holdings in GOGO and NUE.

You bearish types make me physically sick. The very sight of your comments makes me want to projectile vomit onto someone. Can you refrain from making predictions, please? Thanks.

Biotech still looks good. I know this trade is long in the tooth; but NDRM still looks great. I have a few more that I want to own, but will only do so once I sell either NDRM or XLRN.

Homebuilders are strong too. I am long TPH and have no desire to sell into this market decline.

We are down due to a cacophony of reasons, none of which makes any sense. I refuse to become subjected to group think and bare all of my senses, just because the market trades down for a day.

Let’s put things into perspective, shall we?

We rose by 325 points yesterday and have lost less than half that today. Net, net, we are doing fine.

Go eat a sandwich and shut the fuck up.

Rome wasn’t built overnight, you know. The oil trade is going to be an arduous one. Many men will be ruined in scandal; lives will be lost.

In the meantime, as men of substance and conviction, we will make our livelihoods amongst the pirates and the fish, long oil tanker stocks. The deeper the oil ditch is dug, the better it is for FRO, TNK, NNA, TLP and NAT.

After such a magnanimous week, I am expecting the market to reverse lower today. I am not betting on it, as I am 95% long. However, given the circumstances, one would assume profits will be taken.

Nonetheless, the jobs numbers were perfect and wage growth was stymied at just 1.7%, which means inflation is running at less than the Fed’s target of 2%. That means, ladies and gents, there is absolutely no way they can begin an insidious programme to destroy the US economy through rate hikes. ZIRP is here to stay.

You should get long some homebuilders.

To hell with the King of Saudi Arabia.

The dollar is on a ridiculous path. See chart.

It is up in the order of 25% since 2011, +14.5% over the past year, outperforming the SPY. Like I said: ridiculous.

However, think of the great boon this is for bedraggled microbes living out fanciful idiot lives in Europe and Brazil, amongst other savage places. They took their inferior currencies, bought our stocks, bonds and real estate, price in dollars, made +15% on the investment end and another +14.5% in our King Dollar.

America is the shit.

But the time has come for mean reversion. A great many of you are neatly tucked away in ‘fag-boxes‘ and will now be dispatched into outer space to live out the duration of your pathetic lives in destitute poverty. TLT, UUP, short oil will be losing trades over the next 6 months.

HERETO: now is the time to accumulate shares of SLCA, EMES, PDCE, DVN, CLR, ECR and FMSA, amongst others. Once the tide turns and oil breaks $55 to the upside, all of you fucking faggots will be tripping over yourselves, knifing each other in the backs, to get a piece of the action.

Since I am already positioned, I have nothing to do but wait.

As you were.

There is nothing that you or I can say, so let the eery silence speak for us.

YTD gains: +6.5%