OOOH, WE ARE IN ‘BEAR MARKET TERRITORY’

Thanks to the fucking asshats on CNBC, I am fully aware that the indices, excluding the S&P, are now in ‘bear market territory.’

What shall I do now?

Developing…

Hey kid, you made it big. From this day on, you can tell your kids: “one day I was the headline story for Fly’s website.”

Go ahead people, bet against oil, see where it gets you. As a matter of fact, go buy some “oil down” bullshit, via [[DOY]]. I guess the assholes who created DCR were so pleased with it “zeroing out,” they decided to build another one. Genius!

What the fuck is wrong with those assholes, making ETF’s that go to zero?

Look, I threw out my economics 101 book a long time ago. If you are going to live a life of luxury, off of egregious stock market gains, you cannot think rationally. Shit is backwards, turned inside out. By the time you figure it out, it self destructs—blowing your arms, legs and balls off.

At this juncture, only assholes bet against crude. They are the same people who are buying bank stocks on the dip and are avid CNBC fans. Some of them even have posters of Bob Pisani, walking the NYSE, on their bedroom walls.

If you insist on betting against oil, do it with style. Go with the ETF (DOY) that can send your bullshit account to zero, effectively leaving you broke, penniless and plain ol’ vanilla gay.

I bought 500 [[RIG]] @ $147.65, 2,000 [[FXP]] @ $81.90 and 2,000 [[REW]] @ $66.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, people will suspect you are a heroin addict. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 2,000 [[MXB]] @ $32.25.

Disclaimer: If you sell short MXB because of this post, the next time you hire a contractor to do work on your house, he will not finish the job. And, you may lose money.

I am one step ahead of Mother Market and her bitchy ways. Always.

Do you see what’s going on with [[CLF]] today? Had I not covered that fucker yesterday, I would have torn my office apart, from rugs to mugs. Instead, I get to sit here and chuckle, not laugh, at the pedestrians who are still short the name.

In other news, the banks are setting up nicely for another short sale. Many of these fuckers are extending yesterday’s gains and are begging for a beat down.

Much to my chagrin, ag related names and other stuff in the [[SMN]] are powering forward, leaving me to ponder if the devil really did make that fucking ETF.

I bought a little [[CLNE]]. Don’t ask me why.

And, I see [[RIG]] caught an upgrade. Who cares? I don’t invest in stocks for analyst upgrades/downgrades. 99% of those fuckers aren’t qualified to shine my shoes, let alone offer financial advice.

Once again, the only shorts on my books are [[MXB]], [[CAT]] and [[JEC]]. Believe me, there are many more on my watchlist. But, for now, I rather keep a large cash horde, due to my suspicions of some sort of bull run.

Finally, right here, right now, I like [[FXP]], [[PCZ]], [[FTK]] and [[REW]]. Also, shit looks fucked up at [[LEH]]. Keep an eye on the brokers.

Santa Claus can’t afford coal and shit for bad kids anymore.

UPDATE: Check out my new cell phone. “The Fly” keeps it old school.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NEE8oURdM0 450 300]

I’m calling it a day. I have more important shit to do, than fuck around with fucktards on the internets.

The market is melting up here. If you’re still short financials, move to the side. They can rally 20-30% from here, worst case scenario.

My bets against [[JEC]], [[MXB]] and [[CAT]] stand. I will average up, if needed. My stubborn “robot like” buying program in [[RIG]] is paying dividends now. That fucker is booking higher.

I sold off some [[SMN]], but still hold a decent amount.

I will not sell [[DUG]], until oil breaks loose again.

And, finally, I will not be tempted to buy the rally. Going into earnings season, playing the market is equal to playing with your balls, in the middle of a lit dynamite pile. I’d rather yell at idle pictures of Bernanke, than fuck around with financials—long or short.

Be well, or not.

This is great. Being that we are in a 73-74 market type of mode, why not top it off with hostilities between the fucking Soviets and the U.S. too?

I never liked those fuckers—always pointing missiles and shit at me.

Russia’s will be forced to make a military response if the U.S.-Czech missile defense agreement is ratified, the Foreign Ministry said Tuesday.

If the agreement is ratified, “we will be forced to react not with diplomatic, but with military-technical methods,” the Foreign Ministry statement said. It did not give specifics of what the response would entail.

NOTE: This news can rattle the markets, while giving a bump to crude and natty.

Do not attempt to give me advice or suggest market stratagem. “The Fly” could give two fucks and a gay giraffe about your opinions or machinations. Just know, you giving me advice is equal to the bat boy giving advice to Ty Cobb, and shit. Fuck around and I’ll drop kick you in the chest, with my spikes on.

In other news, I am all about betting against global infrastructure plays now. I don’t believe it. It’s all Hollywood.

Stocks like [[ACM]], [[JEC]], [[FWLT]], [[FLR]] and [[ABB]] are in bubble mode; and I have a pin.

Just in case you are wondering, I am not diversified. We’re in def con 5 mode. There is no need for asset diversification, when shit is moving in a convoy lower. I know that is a very unorthodoxed strategy; but I believe it is prudent.

I can’t be saddled with 100 positions while the market is coughing up blood, falling all over the place. My approach is to have no more than a dozen core or trading positions, while keeping a large cash horde available.

My positions include both long and short. In order for my hedges to be effective, they must have some sort of inverse relationship to one another. Over the past 6 months, I have been long crude/short banks. At the present, I am short infrastructure/long rig makers. However, my largest position is cash.

If done right, a hedged portfolio can have far less risk than a dumb ass diversified one. This, as you know, is a major shift in my investment philosophy. For many years I was emphatic about sector diversification, using the strictest guidelines. Nonetheless, as the market changed, so did my opinion on optimal money management methods.

With the market shooting higher here, I do not want to get in front of it short. We can easily rally 300-500 points, before the next leg down. Instead, I will bide my time, throwing water balloons at my trade/servant, while nibbling (not biting) at [[RIG]], [[PCZ]], [[FXP]], short [[JEC]], short [[MXB]] and short [[CAT]].

NOTE: I covered my [[PACW]] short.