Shut Up and Buy Stocks

Cramer says we have bottomed, yet again. However, don’t pay attention to one of his favorite stocks: [[HOLX]]. After all, those guys rock. And, the CEO is a “money maker.”

Nothing can keep this market down—not even HORRENDOUS jobless claims.

We’re supposed to be down around 250 points by this time, considering the recent run up, coinciding with the GDP and jobless claims data. Instead, we’re heading up baby, Vegas style.

Yeah the banks are broke, so what! They’re all buys again, mainly due to the fact that they have gone up 60% over the past week.

Luckily for me, I am long [[MS]]. On the other hand, with a bit of unlucky flavour [sic], I bought a bunch of oil stocks yesterday.

Ask me if I care. I fucking dare you.

As I watch [[SKF]] go from up $4.50 to negative, all I can think about is what’s for lunch. I can go with the meatball hero or maybe some pussified salad with fancy herbs and other shit in it.

As an aside, I wish death to those who are high fiving each other right now, as they buy bank stocks. Scratch that. I wish you get fired from your job, and as you’re packing your bullshit belongings—some jacked up jerk off comes over and punches your eyebrows and mustache off.

There, I feel better.

Top pick: [[SKF]]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=heXFhY7y1EI 450 300]

What kind of shit was that?

Oil ripped the nex [sic] off of those who like to sell it; and the market applauded then circle jerked higher. To be honest, as opposed to intentionally lying, I am all over the place.

The one thing I learned, over many years of making egregious errors, is this:

When you are unsure about the market, do nothing or do everything.

Meaning: if you are confused because common sense isn’t being translated into market gains, sell everything and go to cash. Or, if you are more experienced and have access to vast amounts of capital, buy everything.

Yesterday, I took a fucking cannon ball to the face, as the banks melted my head off. However, noticing how much risk I was taking, quickly, I went long a variety of names, including [[MS]], [[STI]] and [[UYG]].

Then, early this morning, I bought size in [[AGU]], [[OXY]], more MS, [[UPL]], [[SU]], [[ARD]] and [[RIG]], as oil turned the corner and fucked shorts.

The end result was a +1.5% day. I accomplished this because I disobeyed my brain and went with my gut.

Sometimes it pays to think less and just do.

UPDATE: Wall Streets #1 analyst, Meredith Whitney, just stuttered when Maria “the *****” asked her if [[LEH]] “would make it.”

Someone get me that clip.

UPDATE II: Great read on Merrill’s balance sheet move.

I bought 2,000 [[UPL]] @ $73.65.

Disclaimer: If you buy UPL because of this post, the next time you visit a gas station, someone will punch your eyebrows off. And, you may lose money.

This spike in crude can stick. If it does, kiss your fucking rally goodbye. However, most energy names are so oversold, they will coil higher, on a whisper of higher crude.

Today the whole energy complex is exploding to the upside. I told you fuckers to make your list.

Over the last hour, I bought [[OXY]], [[SU]], [[ARD]] and [[RIG]]. In addition, I am already long [[NOV]].

Other names that look interesting include: [[EOG]], [[DVN]], [[DO]], [[SWN]], [[TXCO]] and [[FTK]].

In other news, the Godly folks at iBC have retained the services of a new blogger, soon to be tabbed. Just know, he has a great hand for picking stocks and has been blogging for quite some time. He is one of the few blogs I visit, on a daily basis.

More on this later.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSbXEmCIqO4 450 300]

Everyone is dazed, unable to discern which direction the market is heading. While everyone fumbles around searching for clues, I will bank egregious amounts of coin in [[AGU]].

See, investors are scared of oil. However, there still is fervent demand for commodity plays. As a result, I believe all of the commodity bound money will pile the fuck into ag names, like AGU, [[POT]], [[MOS]] and [[CF]].

Now, I am a big believer in the fact that [[OXY]], [[SU]], [[RIG]] and [[NOV]] are absurdly cheap. At the moment, I am long NOV. However, because of the stupid paradigm we are in, where the entire fate of the market is reliant upon cheaper oil, I like ag here better than energy.

Look you, I have no time to explain the intricacies of money management. Take my word for it; ag goes higher.

Now, separately, I must admit being heavily long [[MS]]. I’ve been buying the fucker like a drunken OTB guy. Moreover, at the same time, I’ve bulked my [[TCB]] short to unnatural levels.

In short, I am long ag, long the brokers, while short the big money centers, via [[SKF]].

NOTE: In the event my ag thesis is wrong, I am long [[VSE]] too.

I bought 10,000 shares of [[AGU]] @ $87.28. And, I bought 2,000 [[SKF]] @ $119

Disclaimer: If you buy AGU because of this post, the next time you are in a gunfight, you will run out of bullets. And, you may lose money.

Thanks to “King Dollar” and mind boggling losses in the financials, the market is running. God willing, we shall see another 300 billion in writedowns, in order to get an even bigger short squeeze. After all, [[MER]] losing more than 40 billion, over the past 6 months, is a good thing.

“The Fly” relishes the idea of buying broken banks, in the midst of a horrific lending cycle. It’s sort of like hiring a secretary with two broken arms and a speech impediment—always a good idea.

Thankfully, I went against my better judgment and bought a few banks yesterday. Hell, I did it for the sport of it. As a result, my [[UYG]], [[STI]] and [[MS]] positions are speed racing, while my dumbass shorts eat dirt and feel the blade of bullshit.

Also, as an aside, my 200% inverse ETF’s are not fairing too well, as Mother Market deems it necessary to debank “Plutonium Petey” for having too large a gain, year to date. I will accept this punishment, only on a temporary basis.

Just know, for every [[BWLD]] there is a [[ERTS]]. For every [[DNA]] there is a [[ELN]].

Without delving into detail, I can tell you the banks have overextended themselves, yet again. If you want to buy stuff, look around in other sectors. The banks are too volatile and home to many degenerate OTB guys.

With my money, I will buy more [[MS]], while waiting for the top to hit the banks, giving “The Fly” an opportunity to “average down” on [[SKF]].

Look, there are many things I can be doing now. However, I choose to handle one thing at a time. Right now, I need to punch my way out of the SKF-SRS-FXP box I find myself in.

Aside from that, I am long [[WB]], [[LAZ]], [[JOE]], [[HD]], [[BAP]], [[AIZ]], [[MVIS]], [[SBUX]] and [[CLNE]].

NOTE: Long MS-short [[TCB]] is a great pair trade.

Anyone who thinks crude at $120 per barrel is cheap is, without doubt, an asshat.

FlyonWallStreet Flashback: (props to Danny for having foresight, making this video well before the Bear collapse)