Let There Be Blood

Let me tell you, I just got back from the fucking Doctor’s office and I almost didn’t make it. I don’t take well to blood tests. First of all, I’ve never been to this Doctor and was quite appalled at most of the things that was going in his office.

First of all, he didn’t honour [sic] my appointment, like I have all fucking day to just sit in some fucktards office, with assholes all around me. Next, I found out, after he called me in, he WASN’T even a Doctor. Instead, he was some R.P.A. schmuck, with the internet as his guide to medicine.

No joke.

Following some basic questions, he starting swearing, saying words like “bullshit” and “fuck that shit,” for no apparent reason. After completing our terrific R.P.A-patient conversation, he wrote a script for high blood pressure, despite my pressure being a relatively low 132-82. He said: “you can rip it up after you leave. There are plenty of people who deliver flowers to the funeral home.”

No joke.

As an aside, he spoke with a heavy spanish accent.

Finally, my visit ended with a catastrophic blood test. The technician was great. However, I, on the other hand, punked out and nearly fainted after she withdrew two measly tubes from my Godly arm. After seeing my face turn a light green, my wife and the the two vampires in the office panicked and wanted to take my blood pressure and monitor my blood sugar. Fuck that.

I egregiously declined and opted for a “sweating out” of this ordeal, while the two ladies there commented, in spanish, that “every man acts the same.”

We concluded our chat with them calling me a “pendejo,” much to my chagrin. My wife had to inform them that I “knew that word.” They all had a nice laugh, at Senor Tropicana’s expense—who, yet again, was greatly chagrined.

Separately, the market “shit the bedroom” today. I was not able to efficiently monitor it; so I am unable to give you cogent advice. Hower, I will tell you, with the certainty of 100 hungry lions inside a meat packing facility: there will be blood.

Top picks: [[SKF]], [[SRS]], [[FXP]], short [[TCB]], short [[Mi]], short [[LEH]] and short [[CHL]].

Comments »

The market is always trying to steal your money. Case in point, had you bought into the “this is the final bottom” fiasco last week, you find yourself today pondering the very meaning of life and why the stock market is even worth your time.

The stark truth is: most people should not be invested in stocks. If you have debt or exorbitant amount of expenditures, you are a fucking idiot for investing.

In my opinion, if you have a liquid net worth of 1 million, only 10-20% of it should be in stocks. Far too often I’ve seen people lose it all, at the hands of Mother Market. It’s easy to get detached from reality, when dealing with the shenanigans of day to day investing—during an era of rampant fraud and corruption. However, try not to lose focus on the whole purpose of having money, which is to have fun.

If you’re not having fun, you’re doing something wrong. Fuck the market and it’s trickery. Go on vacation. Spend 10k on egregious shit. Your family will appreciate it and so will you.

In other newz, the market is quite busy taking vacation money from “bull fuckers.”

As a result, I grabbed my balls and sold short inordinate amounts of [[TCB]], [[CHL]], [[LEH]], [[CMA]] and [[MI]]. In addition, I am buying more [[SRS]].

By the way, “The Fly” has several big wins in store for the Godly folks at iBC. I am sure you see that ridiculous ad on the upper right and think: “that man has done lost his mind.” Truth be told, I lost my mind years ago. However, the next phase of my “internet life” will be one of genius.

More on this later.

To sum up today’s tape:

We’re going lower. Grab your balls and get short or take your money and go to Disney World.

NOTE: I will be out all day, due to a mandated physical. Yes, the physical is being mandated by Mrs. Fly. Fuck you.

UPDATE: I bought [[FXP]], SRS and even [[SKF]]. I sold some [[CLNE]] and [[FMCN]]. In general, I like green eggs and ham much more than bank stocks.

Comments »

It is unbelievable to see how many International banking institutions were raped by U.S. mortgage scams. This, more than anything else, must piss off the euro-losers and asian dog eaters to no end. If I were an asian dog eater, I’d never buy U.S. paper again. Hell, I’m American and I’ll never buy a [[GM]] note or mortgage backed security— for as long as my bullshit dna allows me to breathe the filthy NYC air.

ANZ shares raped in early trading

ANZ said the fallout from the U.S. housing market collapse has spread into Australia and New Zealand by pushing borrowing costs higher, causing more companies and individuals to default. National Australia Bank, the country’s largest, on July 25 said provisions for credit market investments jumped fivefold, triggering the biggest share decline since 1987.

“Until trust is rebuilt and investors work out who owes what, and who’s going to lose what, there’s going to be uncertainty,” said Hans Kunnen, head of investment market research in Sydney at Colonial First State Global Management, which holds about $128 billion of assets. “It’s one of those stakes in the ground you’ve got to look for before things get better.”

Read full story.

UPDATE: 5 days dated, but relevant. Paul on housing bailout.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy6SlUpbnIU 450 300]

Comments »

Developing…

Comments »

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtWDlDlzfOY 450 300]

Comments »

Aside from [[CLNE]] and [[FMCN]] longs, “The Fly” is back to mid-season form, with his timely [[SKF]], [[SRS]], [[FXP]] and [[TCB]], [[LEH]], [[MI]], [[BBT]], [[CMA]] shorts.

Even though I was greatly tempted, via soft whispers in my head, to sell short more banks into the close, I resisted. I am sure the “government cheese makers” will have some more “newz” for the market, come Monday morning. So, I’ve decided to hold my fire for next week.

Just know, most of you longs are in grave danger. Chrysler is no longer offering leases, banks are demanding 30-35% down on a new home and 30 year mortgage rates are north of 6.7%.

Good luck on that 2nd half recovery, fuck-face.

Look you, I do not wish ill upon my fellow man. I just want to bank a little coin off his despair, while listening to gangster rap music.

In all earnest, I hope the economy can get back on track. I remember and miss the days when I’d push old men, who were shorts stocks, into and down empty elevator shafts. However, my “calculator brain” has forced me into having a most dire outlook for U.S. equities.

Naturally, this can change with new data, specifically the collapse of commodity prices and loosening of credit standards.

In closing, if you’re the patriotic type, kill the chicoms, via [[FXP]]. Hell, they’re your future enemies, with their fucked up toys and disgusting shrimp farms.

Top pick: short TCB

UPDATE: Weekend viewing

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeWJZiJGc2s&eurl=http://market-ticker.denninger.net/ 450 300]

UPDATE II: Even better economic commentary.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLo8u21iif8&eurl=http://www.nahright.com/news/ 450 300]

Comments »

Here we go again. I can’t find stock to borrow. Either every asshole with a series 7 is short banks, or my clearing agent is being an ass.

With such a tight environment for shares, the potential for a massive short squeeze still exists. If you have zero skin in the bank short game, maybe it’s best if you wait for things to settle down. This weekend, I’m sure all of the donkey punchers, with asshats, will try their best to strike deals, in order to support the house of cards— best known as the U.S. banking system.

At the present, I am short [[TCB]], [[MI]], [[LEH]], [[HRB]] and [[BBT]].

Aside from that, I am not buying the bounce in crude stocks, yet. For the moment, I will keep my cash position intact, while diligently trying to borrow shares for some of my favourite [sic] stocks.

NOTE: CNBC is a homo-network.

NOTE II: I told you from day 1, the rise in natural gas was unnatural. It is a scam. There is more than enough natty to supply our dumbass houses, without even drilling for more. Natty should trade under $7, in a normal world.

Comments »

Following ‘good economic data,’ the market has no idea what it wants to do. On one hand, it wants to drive the shares of [[LEH]] and [[MI]] through the dirt. On the other, it just loves [[BCS]] and its euro-trash ways.

Personally, I am pleased to see [[IBKR]] eat pavement. Don’t ask me why. I just do.

As a result of cocaine abuse, the [[SKF]] is all over the road. As you know, I bought some in the $150’s, then I bought a lot more, sub $120. By no means will I sell it here. I may consider letting go of some in the $140’s.

Maybe.

[[CLNE]] is bouncing here. I love this name. It’s just one of those stocks that has the potential to double or triple. While the volatility is severe, I believe in the long term fundamentals and will hold this fucker, through thick or thin—or until I have a “big dicked” gain.

Oil sucks again. At the present, I own very little [[PCZ]]. Other than that, I like [[FTK]], but own zero.

Go figure.

[[MVIS]] is behaving rather nicely, following the announcement of a capital raise. I am long about 50,000 shares and intend on holding them through Christmas.

Finally, I do not trust this tape, either way. I will probably balance out my holdings a little more, then go throw rocks at people outside.

Comments »

I’ll leave the diatribes to those of you who love to hate the Government in the comments section, or other third tier bloggers.

Gentleman and piss ants, I am here to bank coin. I do not care about main street or crooked politicians; because I have no control over them. The only thing I preside over are my actions and the influence I exert upon others, in my domain.

If I were to spend my time focusing on the miasmic world of Wall Street and Federal Reserve fuckery, I would be living in a housing tenement in Brooklyn.

This is what I know:

Providing Ben and Hank are fresh out of tricks, this new leg down will be the killer. Last leg lower, ag, commodity and infrastructure stocks held firm. Furthermore, select blue chip tech/retail names, like [[AAPL]], [[RIMM]] and [[GME]] held their butter. Not this time.

One by one, the generals have been taken out and shot, including [[POT]], [[MOS]] and even [[X]].

As you know by now, this market has financially ruined people. I know many investors who had their life savings tied up in bank/broker dealer stocks, only to be washed away in one short year. Just like that.

How quaint.

Sure, the warnings were everywhere, except on CNBC. But I digress.

When the “homo hammer of certain death” falls again, it will be permanent. I do not know when it will occur; I only know it will. For all I know, the market can go on another terrific run to 12,000, prior to the ominous resurfacing of the dastardly “homo hammer.” I digress again.

So sorry.

Pension funds are being clown raped, if that makes any sense to you. I know people who manage these funds and they are stupid/hopeless.

Everyone is waiting for the bottom, all the while the Treasury and the Fed concoct new plans to reinflate the balance sheets of bullshit banks, via draining the life savings out of school teachers.

Everything about 21st century banking is 2nd rate, from bank tellers to bank whores (Dick Bove). As an investor and steward of assets under my management, I cannot find it in me to buy [[WM]], down at these levels, like some people I don’t know.

To sum up this rant of nothingness: before trying to catch the genesis of a new bull market, remember how stupid you were [when you tried it the last time] and find solace in knowing that you are not “The Fly” and do not have the luxury of hedonistic time travel. Instead, go eat a ham sandwich with mayo, watch the ballgame and guzzle down a few dozen bottles of beer, while Ben and Hank fumble around— selling your country to egregious clowns wearing florescent yellow jumpsuits.

Comments »

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_t0CcHrYOs&feature=related 450 300]

Comments »