Scientifically: I Cannot Lose Money

“The Fly” was dutifully rewarded for sticking with his gut feeling today. Gains of more than 10% were bestowed upon Senor Tropicana, much to the chagrin of egregious bearshitters. From [[EEM]] , to The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] to [[ROM]] to [[DIG]] to [[M]] to National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , I banked fucking coin today.

The bears, hell, they were busy stepping in murder holes all day, as the sharp blade of Mother Market turned on them like an bedeviled sociopath, slashing their nuts off.

They received, without a doubt, the ominous “Black Flag” of annihilation.

Mark my words: this rally will stick and stick hard, spilling over into Asia tonight, then Europe tomorrow. My guess, this was the bottom, fuckfaces.

Enjoy it and be sure to thank “The Fly” for his steady hand, during these tumultuous times.

NOTE: “The Fly” wins again.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSmEpnHKr4M&feature=related 450 300]

NOTE: Devildog is in the front of the boat.

As you know, “The Fly” is “embedded” in his belief that the market needs to punish, and torture, short sellers, who have over stayed their welcome. While it’s true, the market is gayer than a three legged statue of Dennis Kneel; the shorts will die anyway.

I fucking traded the bear markets of ’97, ’98, 2000-2002; it does not go straight down, assholes. Learn your history, before stepping to Plutonium Petey.

Much to my chagrin, National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] can’t get out of its own way, thanks to a few rig cancellations at Transocean Inc. [[RIG]] . The mind numbing decline in commodity based stocks is equal to shooting howitzers in the face of overzealous hedge fund managers, which is a good thing. However, lots of retail pikers got taken down too.

All of this carnage has resulted in massive mistrust on Wall Street. The mistrust is causing stocks to nosedive lower, as if the world was about to get sucked into a fucking blackhole.

But, this mind set will flip on a dime, once we get a sustainable rally. Any rally lasting for more than 3 days will set off an uncontrollable wave of panic buying, which in turn will make bearshitters cry and pray for respite.

There will be no quarter for you short selling homos, only the ominous, yet Godly, “black flag.” We will take out your entrails and give them to our children to play “tie up the bad guy.” We will milk your bullshit brokerage accounts for all of its value, effectively putting you in a very bad homeless situation.

In closing, “The Fly” is at the wheel of the SS Titanic and he is not turning back. I will drive through that fucking iceberg, as if it were made from marshmallows— and toss cantankerous bearshitters into the shark infested waters below.

It really is the end of the world. Today’s failed rally is so funny/hysterical, I am doubled over in uncontrollable laughter. True story.

What a crock of shit.

Again, can Morgan Stanley [[MS]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] just get it over with and file for bankruptcy protection? Buying [[UYG]] was a mammoth error, on my behalf. However, the good news: I didn’t buy too much. But still, come on, the world markets soar and we can’t rally for more than 1 hour. How pathetic is that?

Even if we recover today, the damage has been done.

With that in mind, I find little reason to believe the Dow will hold 8,000. Hell, with all the fuckfaces out there getting panicky, this fucker can nose dive to 5,000 and they’d still say “we need a bigger flush out.”

These people are fucking idiots. They were idiots when we were going up and they are idiots now, as we go down.

With regards to the Fed:

It really doesn’t matter what they do. They can only hurt us at this point. If they cut by 50, the market will yawn it out. If they cut by 25, the panicky morons will use it as another excuse to sell.

So, just to sum things up:

The world is going to explode and your portfolios are going to zero. Which one is worse?

NOTE: I am long National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , [[UYG]] , [[DIG]] , [[ROM]] , [[M]] , [[EEM]] and many other stocks, with ZERO intentions of cutting losses or hedging. Gentleman/asshats: this is “Titanic Trading” and I am your captain. We are heading for some white matter in the middle of the Atlantic and I have no interest in dodging it. We have a limited amount of life boats, so act accordingly.

“The Fly wins all the time, even when he appears to be losing, badly.”

Fly- 2007

I will never forgive myself for today’s trading miscues. The cost of rehedging is so sickening, I will not do it. I will ride this goat fucking market down to 5,000. I care more about the current state of goat liver transplants, than pending market crashes.

I’m ready for my poleax. Let it be swift and mighty, as if my office was rigged with several tons of c-4 explosives. As I sit here, with about 25% cash, up around 45% for the year, I am literally willing to give back all of my gains (personal accounts), in order to prove a point. Get back to me in a few hours and I’ll think up a good enough reason.

On that cocksuckers show, Cramer decided to throw gasoline on top of the already nuclear bombed out United States Steel Corporation [[X]] and Arch Coal, Inc. [[ACI]] . Let me tell you, my rage is becoming uncontrollable watching that man spit fire at idiots on the receiving end of the gogglebox. Thanks a lot fuckface. You did real good son, warning the common folk of X and ACI, after those shitbags knifed 80%.

In after hours trading, Cramer’s panic speech is driving shares lower. I ask: what the fuck is the point of that? He’s just interested in throwing shareholders down stairs, basically. Asshole, you missed the fucking call, 100 points ago. Don’t come on national television now and warn people it will drop another 50%. They don’t care.

To sum up this post:

I want to see Asia get drop kicked in the nuts tonight. I want to see Japanese traders take out the swords and off each other on the exchange floor. I want to see the Heng Seng go down 4,000 points tonight. And if you think I am worried about losing money; guess what: you’re fucking wrong.

“The Fly” thrives during tough times. It is my calling.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFXkqef3Njk 450 300]

Oh, the good news is we didn’t crash. Unfortunately,  once again, the asshats who buy and sell stocks have decided to bleed this fucker out until it goes to zero.

At the apex of today’s rally, it was still gay. Stocks are so fucking timid right now, not even the hand of Zeus can make them ascend. There are no buyers, just jerkoff hedge fund managers getting blown the fuck out.

We might as well match Japan and touch down on 28 years lows, down to Dow 800.

Fuck it.

Naturally, I regret buying stocks today and selling my inverse etf’s. What the fuck was I thinking, betting on this stupid bitch of a whore going higher?

You cocksucking, motherfuckers.

At least I get to watch the Asian bullshit artists get clown raped tonight. God willing, those fuckers knife lower by 90% tonight.

Also, can Morgan Stanley [[MS]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] just fess up and file for bankruptcy protection already?

They come from dark, cigar smoke filled, offices, where plants die from lack of photosynthesis and the careers of brokers are shattered, without a second glance. These “clerks” are bitches of the highest order, whose task is to sell, sell, sell, all the time, no matter what.

They search and scurry about for money wires and incoming checks. They do not care about your stories or reasons pertaining to why your equity is BELOW MINIMUM MAINTENANCE. They hate you, piker brokers, with all of their life force and look forward to blowing out of your bullshit positions, with negative equity, if possible, at 3:00, everyday.

You may ask for mercy or even trick these hideous creatures, in order to live another day BELOW MINIMUM MAINTENANCE; but they will get you.

These assholes will storm into your bullshit office, first thing tomorrow morning, demanding money wires, “else they will BLOW OUT” of your homo positions at 3:00, negative equity, if possible.

Here they come now.

I am a raging gorilla (on steroids and coke), eating all the fucking bananas. No bananas for you, fuckers. They are all for me. It is my tree, assholes.

In other news:

Look at Fifth Third Bancorp [[FITB]] today, up BIG on gov’t money. What the fuck does that mean?

Well, goat lovers, that means lots of banks will shoot higher off of this non-event, since the market deems it to be cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the market is gayer than a two dollar fiddle. However, it’s time for us to go higher now, at least for a day. It’s time for Zeus himself to come down and strike those who are short equities, with giant lightning bolts and buckets upon buckets of cold water from the Arctic
Ocean.

As you know, “The Fly” is aligned with the stock Gods and has a very keen eye for market turns. The lack of volatility is HUGE for pikers on the sidelines. The market needs a few sedatives, before a move up. Should this fucker stabilize, we shall have the “epic rally” I was alluding to last week.

When that happens, you’re going to want to be long emerging markets, like Hong Kong and Korea. Hell, you may even want to go long those hari-kari cancers from the east: Japan.

In short, Zeus is coming down (from the heavens), following his afternoon snack of grapes and sweet ambrosia. He is bringing his lightning bolts and arctic water with him, and will turn many bearshitters into smoldering piles of ash and shit, sometime soon.

NOTE: To play emerging markets, [[EEM]] , [[EWH]] , [[FXI]] and [[EWY]] are my favorites. For Japan, just go long Canon Inc. (ADR) [[CAJ]] or NTT DoCoMo, Inc. (ADR) [[DCM]]