What a Fucking Riot!

I haven’t had so much fun, losing money, since the dot com blow up of 2000.

Back then, I was young, rich and incredibly brazen. I’d buy 10,000 shares of CMGI @ $250, as if it was on sale. I’d cover personal margin calls, intra-day, only to find myself in a mind boggling equity position, first thing the next morning.

Oh how I miss the good old days when dot coms blew up in my face and my small fortune just vanished into thin air, as if it were made from dust. Poof.

Since then, I rebuilt my small fortune, amidst market turmoil, learning many lessons along the way. However, from time to time, I forget the answers.

Meaning: My playbook said to sell on Friday; but I was too busy sleeping in, hungover from the Turkey feast of the day prior.

Just know, I never sleep in and never miss work. Bad habits create enormous problems, mainly of the financial sort. Also, I never drink before a work day and never, EVER, do drugs. Instead, I concentrate my efforts to learn my trade. It’s always changing, in an attempt to trick people into egregious negative equity positions. However, if you listen very closely, you can hear the train of financial ruin barreling forth.

I take those tracks and spit on them, prior to blowing them up with idle supplies of c-4.

With all that said, I lost a staggering 9% today. To be honest, as opposed to outright lying to you, 9% days are all the rage on Wall Street these days. For fucks sake, if I am not up or down 9% in a session, I get worried.

Ten minutes to the close, I doubled my FXP position, sold out the remainder of my UYM and initiated a small position in FAZ.

In closing, my position is still bullish. However, I have no patience to ride this fucker down another day.

As I sit here, lamenting the fact that I am long anything, I find comfort in knowing the Depression is upon us.

No more will those old fuckers be able to say “back in my day, during the Depression, we ate wood chips for breakfast and rock soup for dinner.”

See, thanks to the heroin addicted hippie generation, driving our economy into the fucking sewer, my generation gets to “feel out” a 21st century version of The Great Depression.

Really, is it any surprise that the worst generation known to modern man, since apes started walking upright, effectively spent this nation into a fucking drunken mess? It’s sort of poetic in an odd sort of way.

The old timers, my grandpa and his ilk, would never stand for such fucktarded policies. He never applied for a credit card and refused to buy anything, unless he could afford it.

It’s the fucking hippie bastards and their drugged out demented brains that got us into this mess. All of the banking CEO’s are asshat baby boomers— every last one of them.

Back to reality:

I am enduring some pretty sizable losses today and may bulk up on FXP, into the close. However, I will refrain from doing a 180, going net short, until the market proves it has no interest in going up, which will be resolved sometime tomorrow.

What the fuck is going on?

Granted, the market was a little overheated to the upside last week, spiking 20% in your face. But come on, this blood letting in BAC, GE, and every other stock in the universe is insane. No, it’s not insane, it’s, by golly, crazy.

The whole world has gone mad, with bombs on faces and sugar in the gas tank. I can’t tell the difference between a fig or a newton any more. They all look the same.

Investors just want to get out, before it’s too late of course. Then, just when you thought it is too late, guess what, it gets later. The market is a perpetual discounting mechanism, all the way to zero.

Look at treasuries:

The yields are screaming “every bank in the world is going out of business” type of action. How could one get long into that?

I say this, while being long through the nose.

I sold out the rest of my C position, just because. With the proceeds, I am holding cold hard cash. With that cash, I may go out and buy a lifetime supply of carnitas or beef burritos.

Look, either way, the market is going to ape rape you. Most of you do not have the experience, nor the aptitude, to make it through the coming depression. Do yourself a favor and quit gambling. Stop chasing rabbits down holes and quit trying to be early.

You fuckers need to be right, in order to get rich. All of this talk of carnitas is making me hungry.

Off to eat.

Can it be this simple? The Turkey Gods are gone, so now the market shall plummet into a deep abyss?

I knew short sellers would lean hard on this market at the first sign of weakness; but this is ridiculous. What’s even more ridiculous is the tepid spike in FXP.

Call me crazy, I think it’s too late to sell, following a quick 5% dump out. As you can see, the market is like a funnel, with a wide entrance in—-but woefully small exit out. Across the board, people are panicked at the first sign of weakness, which makes this fucker of a market incredibly hard to stay long— for a duration longer than a few days.

Nonetheless, with my money, I will sit and watch, instead of cashing in my chips.

NOTE: I am not buying, since that would be stupid. I just need more time to evaluate the tape. And, because FXP is such a laggard, I may buy more, just in case.

I thought the name “WeeklyTA” was nonsensical, especially since he does technical analysis daily. Plus anyway, since I’ve decided to give him a tab, that fucker needs to be reborn, in an odd/internet sort of way.

I give you “The Chart Addict,” not to be confused with other addicts that surf the interwebs.

In my opinion, technical analysis is equal to burning incense, while playing with a Ouija board, then calling it “magic.”

However, The Chart Addict is quite entertaining, young, and seems to be on his game, unlike Howard. I think he can help stop some of you morons, from feeding the recession demon large stockpiles of cash and coin.

In other news, people are getting bearish again. Watch for those people to dive headfirst into the recession pool, at the first sign of weakness. Much to their chagrin, “Santa Fly” has populated the deep end with hungry alligators, in a very egregious/demonic sort of way.

More on this later.

Up another 3.64%, despite sleeping in, drunk, hungover.

In short, “The Fly” closed out the much celebrated, often doubted, Turkey Rally at new all-time highs, up more than 80% year to date.

Off to go support this bitch of an economy, via egregious purchases at BBY.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GG6TWB8aebY 450 300]

In the year of The Ox, The Great Panda shall be laid to famine and fire. Through pestilence and iron, may the necessitous beg for cheese and bread. Through wit and wile, the less fortunate shall be suppressed to conscription.

In the year of The Tiger, The Red Deer shall burn under a cloud of administration. Inasmuch, The Eagle will fall and shall be cast aside under the sharpest blade, delivered by the affluent. Through dirt and rubble, The Great Satin shall rise again, after titanic expense to the hoi polloi.

In the year of The Rabbit, The Barcelos Cock will undergo disease and black smoke, while the rest of Europa shortens by a lifespan of 10.

In the year of the Dragon, The Snow Leopard shall be laid to waste by unseemly powers, using cold steel and machines of destruction and fire. The Bear and The Langur shall starve under assailable defenses, whereby the city walls shall fall and a new evil will emerge.

Developing…

UPDATE: Listen to the music below, while reading “The Prophecies of The Fly.”

Praise be to allah.

Rumors of a cranberry revolt are gravely underestimated.

Developing…

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GVTnWcTgJg 450 300]