Get Drunk

You don’t even have to buy stocks; just go drink yourself into a stupor.

So you know, “The Fly” will be inebriated shortly, all thanks and praise to the beer Gods.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSbjpLj0dFU 616 500]

For the love of dusty lamps shades, the bears have been flattened out and stabbed with African spears, by various stocks—as of late. However, no stock has “spear-chucked” those silly bastards like American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] . That shit is just incredulous.

This week was delightful, despite a few minor setbacks. I get the feeling, despite the market being up big from the lows, that we are about to touch down on Dow 10,000. If and when that happens, I will be obligated to sell a substantial amount of my holdings, in order to stay true to my game plan.

Until then, I like the refiners, specifically Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] and Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] . And, for a trade, I like Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] , Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] . Longer term, I am hopeful that Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] can get the dicks out of their ears and [[ENTR]] can shoot to $10, based upon a ramp up in orders from Time Warner.

Have a good weekend, or not. Either scenario is entirely acceptable to me.

I bought 50,000 Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] in the low $2’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy SONS because of this post, your wife will demand that you get a vasectomy. And, you may lose money.

Oh no, the market is shitting the bed again. What-am-I-going-to-do?

Soon enough, the bearshitters will be out in force, racing up and down Wall in their FAZmobiles. As for me, I am full of regrets this morning. I regret selling Aruba Networks, Inc. [[ARUN]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] and TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] too soon. If only, and I mean this sincerely, the market pulled back 10%, I would be able to buy some good companies—at a discount. However, something tells me, that will not occur.

Instead, the market is going to squeeze itself higher, for the duration of 2009. If you are in the business of trading stocks, 2009 should be the year that you clean house. This is the banner year that you will brag to your Grankids about.

With that in mind, stop shorting stocks, you fucking morons.

Many of you are poking your faces in American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] , going short. Don’t you realize, AIG could print $100 easy—and still be considered “cheap”? We are in the midst of the biggest short squeeze of all time. Brokerage houses are banning inverse ETF’s and the regulators frown upon people who bet against stocks. Due to our fucked status, as a weakened financial super power, the powers that be (they) are giving it the ol’ college try, in a sincere attempt to put us back on top, via MASSIVE reflation.

Getting in the way of that is not bravery, but madness.

On a slow Friday afternoon, I like [[ENTR]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , Barnes & Noble, Inc. [[BKS]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] and TerreStar Corporation [[TSTR]] right here, right now.

Soon enough, with God’s good grace, we will be enjoying shortages in gasoline, which in turn will “power blast” the price of my refiner plays. I am willing to put my balls on the kitchen table, while dicing carrots, long large blocks of Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] and Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] . As an aside, VLO no longer possesses the unique competitive advantage it once had. However, despite their dismal performance, I believe a high tide will lift all boats—even fucktarded homo ones.

Separately, “The Fly” is ready to launch his very own 4g/smartphone index, exclusive to The PPT.

If some of you lonely types were wondering where I was, during the entire trading day, just know, I was involved in certain events that men of substance and honor partake in. With that in mind, none of you were invited—or would be—even if I knew you in real life.

The internet is a fascinating place. I come here and type a bunch of bullshit onto a screen and BAM: my website is worth zillions. Nonetheless, I have no intention of EVER selling iBankCoin, unless of course the deal was too good to pass up. Those types of caveats are what makes me “The Fly” and you “Gay Bob” or “DickFaced Dino.”

Just a reminder: I am diving into large vats of gasoline and I will drink it all up.

Damn, who knows where this market is going? Let’s get some charts out and predict the future together, shall we? “The Fly” will become the swami of the chart world, Supreme Leader in all things that have to do with squiggly lines on paper. Fuck, we can chart everything, from a healthy diet to troubled marriages. I can tell people: “you see this moving average right here? Once the line breaks through it, I want you to get the fuck out and file for a divorce. However, if it comes back, especially on strong volume—quickly—run over to City Hall and get eloped again—because that shit is going higher. Next!”

Separately, people wearing velcro pants and burlap shirts are trying to steal from Senor Tropicana today, via shorting his stocks. The good news: all sell offs will be met with fervent buying sprees. I don’t know the exact reason why, nor do I care enough to investigate; but the market is not permitted to trade lower—at least for now. So, with that in mind, I will be heading out to a meeting shortly, without a care in the world. I will be kicking stray dogs (who try to attack me of course) into high voltage electric fences and gingerly tossing m-80’s (street grenades) at homeless people—who I catch littering the streets.

Thus far, I am pleased with today’s action in [[ENTR]] , Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] , Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] and TerreStar Corporation [[TSTR]] , while annoyed with Sunstone Hotel Investors, Inc [[SHO]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] and Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] . Everything else is just sort of chilling out, taking the sun—drinking a few Corona’s.

Top picks: refiners

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ubfS18IPGw 616 500]

This is not a closing post, but a final warning to men wearing burlap shirts—short the refiners:

I WILL DRINK YOUR FUCKING MILKSHAKE, from 10,000 miles away, if need be. Go ahead, bet against me, via going short Tesoro Corporation [[TSO]] , Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] , Holly Corporation [[HOC]] and Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] , see where it gets you.

Do it.

Now!

In other news, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] closed on their retarded secondary offering. With the Devil’s grace (God does not know what a Flotek is), the stock can now climb out of the murderhole its been in—all summer long—and springboard higher. A little institutional push can go a long way.

Top picks, refiners, TerreStar Corporation [[TSTR]]

I bought 10,000 Western Refining, Inc. [[WNR]] @ $6.49 and 10,000 Valero Energy Corporation [[VLO]] @ $18.95.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, the next time you pour milk into your coffee, it will be sour. And, you will lose money.