50/50

From my citadel, the market can go either way here, with breadth split down the middle. But, over the past hour, the bears have mounted a bit of a rally, repairing some damage in important sectors like metals and tech. Nevertheless, it’s important to remember the market is always out to get you. Next thing you know, stocks do a reverse somersault triple lindy off the back of a fucked up diving board and lands on its face, leading to a really bad ending. Or, perhaps investors drink the cyanide laced Bernanke Koolaid, sending shares “moonshotting” higher, accompanied by purple horses and yellow donkeys.

As for me, I will do shit, mind you, until I am good and ready. I’ve seen the best of times and the worst. This shit doesn’t faze me. Let’s see 400 point swings then I will tap dance for you fuckers. I will tap dance a nice jig for your internet entertainment.

I’m still long C, GS, iBN, FTK, SD, HEAT, GLDD and TEVA. My cash position has been dwindling down, as I position to be long 20%+ VXX. TZA is all personal, so not really relevant in the big scheme of things.

At any rate, get ready for misdirection, followed by lies and propaganda. Oh, good luck trying to figure all of that shit out and how it pertains to your little portfolio.

UPDATE: It’s raining oil!

So let me get this straight, Prezident O’bama is refusing dredging ships from Belgium based upon an olde protectionist law called The Jones Act, which prohibits foreign ships from operating inside U.S. waters. In other words, the Big O doesn’t want to offend the union bosses. Now, the government has scrapped plans to build barrier islands, that would serve as a buffer between the fucking oil and where people live. As a result, shares of GLDD are trading lower.

People from the internets, we have a failure of government taking place right in front of our eyes. Not only are they inept, but corrupted dick suckers to boot. The stock market embodies the essence of America, good and bad. Based upon the shit taking place in the gulf alone, this market is due for a ridiculously absurd correction. Add on -32% home sales and you have yourself a recipe for sheer fuckery.

Go ahead and buy stocks like the coach bag wearing homo that you are. With my money, I’ll be positioning for a pullback.

Fuck you very much.

Some of you fuckers are incapable of making your own breakfasts. How the fuck do you expect to bank coin in the murky waters of Wall Street?

Going with my gut, during today’s session, I went “full retard” in my personal accounts, betting on a decline. Every so often, I get “super fucker” aggressive with my personal money, specifically because I have money to burn, bitch. And, I am never wrong, nor do I lose. Like I said, I’m tilted head moronic retard, long VXX/TZA into tomorrow’s love fest.

For clients, all very prim and proper, yachting, super duper bow tie fucker serious people, I made them lean short into the bell. Not so much different than the Tower of Pisa, those fuckers are leaning one way, if you know what I mean. I sold most of PKX, which was a core position up until today. And, I bellied up to the bar, gobbling up more VXX like fish eat oil.

You all have theories about inflation versus deflation. For example, Mr. Gint has been 100% correct about gold. However, that shit has ZERO to do with inflation. That has become an end of days trade. If there was real inflation, TLT would be significantly lower. Motherfuckers, we’re entering the Deflationary Vortex.

See below for illustration.

Titled: Enter the Vortex, I Insist

Fly, 2010

I sold 75% of my PKX position, north of $102.5.

I bought 20,000 TZA @ $6.86. And, I bought 5,000 VXX @ $26.33.

This market was invented for people like me. Do yourself a favor and stick to spectating.

You went out and bought stocks and now you’re getting tea-bagged by rapid fire liquidations. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon pal. As you scurry about trying to save your skin, I’ll be kicking back, guzzling down some Red Bull, watching the coin roll in off of my hedged bets.

And we are going up again. Despite all of the spastic “pin-action” in the economy at large, men with burlap tank tops and velcro shorts (short sellers) are getting the livers punched out of them. There are 10,000 reasons to not like this market, all stemming from the unalienable fact that it is literally impossible to sustain economic growth through 2011, without a second stimulus package. Nonetheless, for every burlap’d bearshitter, there are 10 bullshitters who believe anything, buying stocks with both hands. Mind you, these are the same people who believe Dick Cheney is a staunch environmentalist and that natural gas/coal exploration “enhances” the flavor of their local drinking water, instead of fucking life.

With my money, I endeavor to outmaneuver you. If you are buying, I will wait. When you are selling, I will look into buying your margin liquidations. See folks, this is a real time, albeit fucked up, reality show, where some asshole money manager is out to get you. Granted, I am here to help too. However, if given the chance, I’d throw you down a flight of stairs and punch your mustaches off—without hesitation or regard for personal space.

As I talk shit, the market declines, not so much different than the respectability index depicting the United Steaks as a world class power.

I like VXX, TZA and a little SD here, mainly because I support the poisoning of all drinking water, west of the Delaware River.

I’ve been looking for a new home for the better part of the last 1,000 years. To make a long story short, I am easily swayed from buying. The catalyst to dissuade me is always different. A few weeks ago, I was chagrined by the local liquor laws in PA, which made me change my mind on a home there. About a year ago, I was greatly disgusted by the paint on the local High School, near a house I was interested in buying. One thing is abundantly clear to me: over the past 5 years, EVERYONE has been “grape raped” on their real estate investments.

I know so many people who are down 1-2 mill on their fucking houses. To me, that is utter insanity. If something like that happened to me, I’d burn my fucking house down and blame it on the fucking firemen. Then, I’d sue them for pain and suffering, plus damages on my charbroiled house, laughing all the way to the bank—jank. I know people who were up 100% on their shit boxes, only to be sitting down 20% now.

What’s my point?

Well, for one, how the fuck can this country mount a sustainable rally with the greatest asset of the American people being so far underwater? What are we a bunch of retarded apes with Coach bags? Secondly, are the banks really serious about not fessing up to the fact that they are FUCKING BANKRUPT? I mean, really, come on already; those fuckers are Archie Bunker style poor and everyone knows it. I couldn’t give two fucks and a gay zebra about the spread. This might be a little dated for many of you, but the banks are the fucking losers in all of this, on a very grandiose scale. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. REAL ESTATE PRICES ARE NOT REBOUNDING.

Please enter the deflationary vortex. Thanks for playing.

Pardon my rant. I just felt like having a truthful moment, in between my late night Red Bull-Coffee-Red Bull-Coffee routine.

A very nice market reversal for you American cock-a-suckers. I hope you were able to a buy a good amounts of stocks at a higher prices, you fuck-a-face.

On a side note, I’m glad to be hedged. It’s gonna be a fucked up summer.

Early this morning, sure of a market rally, I stepped in and bought SHLD, HEAT, with grandiose visions of striking it rich off Chinese Lotto. Then, as the day went on and the indices declined, I bought more VXX, as I was sure the market was bound to fall into a cup of hot soup, then consumed whole by fucktarded asshats. Now, as I type this pointless blog, the market is up 70, effectively urinating on the heads of all intra-day party goers.

I should have taken the day off to fish or catch some clams with my harpoon.

“The Fly” is not keen on making mistakes, which is why I am shutting down the trading turret for the day. There are too many stupid cross currents in the market now and it is fucking up my mojo.

As presently constituted, I have about 65% equities, 16% VXX/TZA and 19% cash. I sold off all of my remaining corporate bonds, that were purchased back in the fucked up days of 2008. And, I have decided to bet on tragedy and mayhem, going into the summer months. Mind you, this sort of market position takes a great deal of certitude to execute and can be very frustrating. The reason why bearshitters get flushed out so regularly is due to bad timing—not inaccurate positioning.

I will have you know, I position my portfolios to win, not to fulfill my deep-seated desires to be right all the time. Remember, you have to be in the game to win it. More often than not, you fuckers get flushed out betting one way, due to your impatience and nonsensical perception of time versus your schedule.

I bought 10,000 VXX @ $25.

Disclaimer: If you buy VXX because of this post, you will fall victim to a catapult attack. And you may lose money.