VROOOOM

If you are managing a private equity fund and have money to invest, you best do it soon or you will have a difficult time raising future funds. Yesterday’s bid for FDO is a side effect of excess liquidity in the system. Corporations have been borrowing money at super low rates for almost two years now. And, private equity managers have been sitting on cash hordes, whilst corporate balance sheets improved, drastically. They have to put money to work, which, undoubtedly, means big premiums.

My VCLK reported great numbers yesterday and is ripping tits off in pre-market trading. I think yesterday’s losses will be made up today, AND MORE, all thanks and praise to the Lord himself, Ben Bernanke. Looking over my algorithms, I am feeling the action in AAU, KBX, WEBM and BZ. I may buy all of them today. Stay tuned.

Also, I am very bullish on Ag names and will add to both MOS and AGU on dips.

Finally, within tech, I am looking at new issue COR. And, with the VCLK strength, QNST is interesting to me here, as well as WPPGY. Also, due to the collapse of WTI crude, I am very much interested in the refiners, as their crack spreads have exploded to the upside.

NOTE: RC set up the South bracket. Sign up you fucking imbeciles. What the fuck are you waiting for? You don’t like free money? Unreal.

Fuck this sell off. As an aside, I eagerly await the earnings announcements of two of my holdings. I do not like holding through earnings. However, as an investor who has a modicum of decency, sometimes it’s necessary to hold stocks for more than 3 days.

As I pen this bullshit blog, I am down about 1%, thanks to the homofied pinless hand grenade action in AGU, MOS and ATPG. Please do not misconstrue my random rants as concern. I literally have no fear, when it comes to stocks.

Why?

BECAUSE THE MONEY I HAVE MADE IS NOT MINE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I made all of this money, over the past 10 years; but it’s not mine. I never earned it. I simply planted seeds and they grew into tall oak trees. If my trees get cut the fuck down, I will plant more seeds. It’s the nature of the game. Either piss or get pissed on.

Allocation stands at 95% long, 5% cash.

I bought 5,000 BZ, while spitting in the face of Mother Market.

Pardon my absence; I’ve been busy napping. It’s a lifestyle change that all should follow. Very simply, at 9:30am go buy $7 million worth of OEX calls, then go take a nap. By the time you wake up, that $7mill will be worth anywhere from $9-12 mill: INSTANT WINSHIP. It’s called “sleeping while working”: and it’s the way of the future.

Tired of busting your ass at the old steel mill? No problem. Go borrow $7 million from your local bank aka “asshattery” and chuck it into the market. Fuck Peter Lynch and Warren Buffet: sleeping while working is the only way to live. I suggest you try it sometime.

In other news, ag stocks are getting smashed today, taking down my AGU and MOS. It’s profit taking, nothing more, nothing less. However, strength in precious metals is lending, mind you, profits for my pocket. My NGD and EXK concoction is paying off in spades, whatever the fuck that means. Aside from KEG and VCLK, my holdings are down. Total draw-down, thusly: 0.5%.

Off to drink several cups of coffee.

I have a 35 year old client who is worth about $9 million. He likes to refer to himself as “rich as fuck.” He is like the mayor of his small “bullshit” New Mexican town (as I like to call it), owner of at least 10 houses and many stupid buildings and several businesses. He likes to invest in stocks that “look good” and he is willing to drop millions on “hunches.” He once lost $2 million on a penny stock he thought was “cheap as fuck.” Needless to say, he and I are good friends and I think he has a mental illness.

Look here, pal, this market is shitting on old dudes. The guys who are unwilling accept the reality shall get the sharp end of the stupid stick. In general, old people are reprehensible. Anyone over 47 1/2 is not welcome on this site. And, in an effort to instill a sense of reason and democracy here, anyone under the age of 25 best leave now, else have their punk asses beaten the fuck down. Let it be known, “The Fly” has no problem breaking your bones into dust. I walk around with African tribal masks and kick people in wheel chairs into idle manholes. Do you really think your swiss army knife scares me?

Back to my crazy client. He says “let’s buy the fuck out of this market.” And I happen to agree with him. While it’s true, he is a “rich as fuck” spoiled natural gas well having bastard. It’s also true that he embodies the animal spirits of the typical American.

THE BOTTOM LINE: While you wait for this market to come down, we piss on your heads. If you stay there long enough, spoiled fuckers with money to burn, living in oddball cities in New Mexico, will be shitting on you. Quit being such a piker: get in the game.

Happy fucking Valentine’s day you little bitches.

The above quote is one of Mrs. Fly’s favorite sayings. Very apropos, if you ask me.

So, let’s get over to Fly accounting 101.

Here are some of my positions:

BORN -2.8%
EXK +1.48%
NGD +1.9%
AGU +0.3%
MOS +0.8%
FORM +1.55%
ATPG +3.7%
VCLK +2.7%
TEVA 1.1%

So, I tell you ham and eggers that I am up a mere 1% today and you fucking doubt me? Are you fucking kidding me? Do yourself a favor and never come back to this site. There are many, many other asinine sites out there, that will teach you charts and farts. You will learn from some middle management piker how to get rich. All of you fuckers out there who doubt my authenticity can go fuck a tail pipe, while getting stabbed in the head by deranged Ukrainians.

I have nothing at all to prove to you. And, more importantly, I have nothing to gain by “earning your approval.” Unlike my counterparts, I couldn’t care less if you read iBC or didn’t. As a matter of fact, I rather you read the drivel coming out of twitter, than tarnish my fucking shrine here. Let’s keep things in perspective: this is not about you. It never has been, nor will it ever. What I do here on a daily basis cannot be matched or duplicated by anyone.

Do you think your hedge fund is outperforming?

Fuck you, I can do better.

I do not crave attention from the media or want some sort of commercial mass appeal. People who need attention want it because they lack something. I LACK NOTHING AND WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR DISOBEDIENCE.

Having said that, I love the rest of you and hope you enjoy the remainder of your day.

NOTE: Here is some romantic music for you and yours.

As I embark upon 8% YTD gains, I find myself somewhat satisfied with the current order of things. The money is rolling in and my enemies have been forced underground, to live like rats. For what it’s worth, all of my predictions have come true, thus far, and my battle ax is still very sharp.

The inflation story is still front and center. However, there are other avenues to make money. I like internet advertising, via VCLK. I like Chinese whiskey, via BORN. And, I even like the semis, via FORM and MCHP.

The downside to runaway markets is the lack of drama. There is nothing to sound alarms over or get riled up about, since everything is absolutely, positively perfect. Feel free to get inebriated, then buy stocks. Act like a complete jackass. Don’t worry. You’re making money and no one can stop you. Get yourself a good attorney and accountant and burn the fucking city down. Arson is only a crime if they can prove it. Start a fucking revolution.

Not happy with BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA?

No problemo. Get some friends together and start a facebook page to overthrow the government. Who gives a shit? I am sure you can find many reasons to boot him out of office. Plus, it gives you something to do.

As for me: I’ll be eating $200 hamburgers and $500 boxes of chocolates today, while guzzling my favorite champagnes. BEHOLD: The New Gilded Era is Upon Us! Are you rich enough to participate or will you be spitting in my soup?

Chillax (second most annoying form of goodbye, next to ciao).

I love everything about them, even the egregious losses. I once lost $5 million on an errant VXX trade gone awry and loved every moment of it. Conversely, I once made over $5 million in a joyous FTK investment and hated each and every second of it. Stocks is what keeps me up at night and what sends my blood pressure through the roof. On the other hand, it allows me to live as I please and do what I want.

Hashing over some research, it appears GMCR is close to a deal with SBUX, for their Keurig device. That will be fucking huge. Wait for that one. And, apparently, Wall Street is gearing up for another leg higher, based on valuation. You don’t need to look far; just buy the winners.

I need to run along now, as Mrs. Fly and I have a Valentines Day breakfast date. Do not find it odd that gold is up while the dollar is up. Gold is no longer a dollar play, but a global currency.

Top picks: EXK, NGD, MOS, AGU

I’ve been reading a lot of bullshit about the record spread between WTI and Brent crude. Even though the spread widened significantly during the Egyptian revolution, some fucktards think WTI should be shit upon and no longer taken seriously. I want some of you big hat wearing, Texas motherfuckers, to opine on this matter, as it may have massive implications for investing in oil stocks. Basically, some are blaming the emergence of new tar sands crude coming on line in Alberta, Canada, for flooding the storage tanks in Oklahoma via homo-pipeline. In other words, Brent is a better representation of global crude demand, while WTI is just American stockpiles. I have a hard time believing this theory, mainly because WTI has always been the defacto standard for global demand.

In case you were wondering why iBankCoin was down earlier, the answer is simple: we were doing field tests for our new internet laser beams. I’ve developed new offensive weapons that instantly track who is reading iBC and makes it possible to annihilate said hard drives upon a press of a singular button. In layman’s terms, watch your fucking mustache.

As an aside, I fired three clients last week for annoying me. I really do not like clients: inherently, they are stupid ingrates. I haven’t accepted a new client, aside from this big oil exec last year, for several years. I get offers on a daily basis but regularly tell people “fuck off, I have my own money.” Back in the old days, I’d clamor for the opportunity to accept a million here or a milli there. However, back then is not now and right now I don’t give a shit.

I am sure you are reading this scripture and hoping for some stock ideas. Well, you will be gravely disappointed, as I am not in the mood to help out small plebs. In this day and age, “The Fly” is into decadent/obscure shit, like eating alligators or dinosaur eggs. I don’t have time for this internet shit.

Having said that, you fuckers have less than one week to join the 3rd Annual iBC March Madness contest. It’s open to The PPT members only, due to the cash prize of $1,000 being allotted to the lucky fucking winner. Thus far, we have about 100+ sign ups. I anticipate about 400-500 sign ups by week’s end.

As always, RC is hosting the annual March Madness contest. This year’s winner wins $1,000 from the hand of Le Fly. If I were you, I’d submit my pick now since a pick cannot be duplicated and there is bound to be 100’s of contestants. Naturally, I will most likely win said contest, rendering your efforts pointless and worthless. Nevertheless, it’s worth a shot.

NOTE: contest available to PPT members only.