A Halcyon Day of Trading

I woke up at 4am because I had some overnight trades that were going to fly. I was smarter than everyone else because I had an account at Webull which enabled me to trade at 4am, whereas the morons at Robinhood and Schwab had to wait until 8am or later. I felt good being smarter than everyone else and liked to tell people my secrets — because it made me feel better.

To my surprise I had 2 or 3 stocks lifting 30-100% at 4:02am. My wife was sleeping next to me and I needed to make sure not to make too much noise that would wake her. I am, after all, a good person.

Looking at the bids and offers and the overall excitement of the tape, I decided to place my offers to sell 5% above ask. I got filled and boasted about it inside the Pelican Room and then went to sleep, setting my alarm for 9am.

Upon waking up, I went downstairs and made myself a double espresso latte and then sat down at my high powered PC with my numerous screens. I’ve found that the more screens I had, the more information I could attain, the more money I could make. My wife wasn’t particularly fond over my screens — but what did she know? She wasn’t awake at 4am making $20k — I was.

The market opened and everything lifted. My gains were at around +6% for the session and I was just getting started. I had a certain bias about a certain sector of the market that was becoming popular and all I needed was for more people to become attracted to it in order to jimmy-rig those stocks higher. I felt good, successful, and pleasant. I was always in good spirits when making lots of money — because being charitable makes me feel good. What better charity is there than me helping others attain wealth through my wisdom filled advice? I was like literally helping the world be a better place.

Lunch time came around and I asked my wife to “make me a sandwich pal — and more coffee.” She never liked me talking that way — but I did so anyway — because I was in good spirits, healthy, and generally gregarious.

I took to my website and boasted about my exploits and then to Twitter and then back to my trading room, where everyone was wealthy and in good spirits. There were a few people who were short stocks and losing money. I didn’t feel bad for them — because it just seemed to me they were stupid and deserved to lose — a form of Darwinism.

At the close of trade, I made about 100 trades for an overall return of +9%. I made sure to leverage my portfolio into the close at 180% long because SPACs were fun and often ran well into the evening. My buddy called me up after the close to discuss his book. The clients he managed money for sent him more money to invest and I felt pity for him and them because he didn’t know what I knew and would never make as much as me. I tried to help him understand what stocks to buy — but I knew giving him this information was a waste of my time — since he just wasn’t capable of trading as good as me.

At around 7:30pm, while at Target with Mrs. Fly, one of my stocks ran up by 40% on no news. It did not surprise me and I really did feel as if the “Stock Gods” favored me for a variety of reasons. I was of course a “good person” and also very smart. These two things entitled me to gains largess. Plus I had put in so many years of effort into perfecting my craft and now felt I was one of the best, if not the best, trader alive today. The fact that I wasn’t as rich as others was a mere inconvenient fact. I attributed that to other things beyond my control. The facts spoke for themselves. I had gains of an unparalleled nature and it wasn’t an accident. I was special and it felt good to think that, so I did — but I kept it inside and didn’t reveal it to my wife because I was, of course, a good person.

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