Humorously Morose Trading

I actually wasn’t bearish today. I even stated as much in an earlier blog. Sure the opening trade was dreadful and I opened up down 2.2%. But throughout the session I bobbed and weaved and traded well, actually. You can tell where there is going.

I held one hedge, a small 5% position in UVIX and didn’t pay it any attention because I was, like I said, trading well and booking profits. But then UVIX dropped 5% from my basis and I thought about what I should do. Normally I’d simply sell it out and forget it. But for some reason I was intrigued by the seemingly nonsensical collapse of volatility. Then again, why should I have been “intrigued” since all VIX does it drop. Nevertheless, I doubled down with an intent of dumping the whole thing on a small market drop.

That never happened.

The losses were now double and the ETF just kept sinking. All this time I kept trading exclusively to the upside and booking small profits, a little here and a little there. Slowly but surely, just like the other day when I did a gazillion trades, I did a gazillion trades today and closed exactly at my session lows. I ended up closing out the UVIX trade for a $15k+ loss.

I’m not mad or even disappointed. It’s just one of those odd things that happens to people and you soon forget about it because it had no bearing on your life whatsoever. In spite of being down 7.5% for August, I am trading well, seeing the market fine — but history will only reflect upon this month in 2023 as a loser for me.

I closed smaller with 42% cash, allocated into more conservative names because the method I need to enact now is slow and steady attempt at redemption for the balance of the month.

Yes of course I fucked my year and I’m not even up 40% anymore — instead +38%. But I don’t care. Perhaps it’s my diet or maybe the knee — but I possess zero emote in this regard and feel, almost mechanically, that all of my recent drawdowns can and will be easily recouped.