iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
22,158 Blog Posts

UPDATE: THE GAYS GOT ME

Last night I made a declarative statement in regards to monkeypox and how I intended to profit off the suffering of others, specifically the gays.

It all went according to ze plan this morning, as I sashayed into work wearing my finest attire, all matched nicely — clean shaven and smelling of Versace cologne. I treated myself to TWO trades of VRAX and gained 15.5% and 5.6%, respectively. I even took a side trade with AEMD for a +6% sojourn.

Then VRAX collapsed from +20% to breakeven. There I was sitting with my cologne wafting throughout the air, sitting on large amounts of cash. I stepped in for the ill fated third trade — going back to the well for one last thrust.

Then CALAMITY struck me down. At first it was mild, a little 2-5% pullback. I had a standard 5% position and was +0.9% for the day, so I wasn’t all that concerned with minor pullbacks in a hot trading stock. And then the hammer of Zeus itself came down upon my head and CRUSHED me back down into the dirt. VRAX now represents my largest single day loss in a very long time. It was a 5% position. Now it’s a 2.5% position without me selling any of it.

My gains have dissipated into residue and I stand before you ravaged to the tune of -1%. Although this could be considered a black swan raping of yours truly, it is a reminder that the single most important thing when trading is sizing of positions. The stock looked great. My prospects were ebullient. And then it all unraveled. Had this been a 25% or 50% weighting, I would be ruined now.

The gambloor in me wants to average down and try to profit from this doom. However fun that might be, it’s simply not at the top of my agenda to risk so much in something so stupid.

At $13, my day might be profitable, which is what I am aiming for. Aside from this gay attack upon my person, I am positioned heavily in commodities and have handsome and robust masculine returns transpiring in almost all of them.

Had it not been for my overt homophobic views on Monkeypox, perhaps this blog would be about me and how great of a tradooor I truly am. But that’s simply not in the cards for today and I instead stand before you a small sad man, RACKED with losses.

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2 comments

  1. flea

    I hope you disposed of SIGA early enough. WTF is happening?

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  2. juice

    Make fun of gays, get monkey-graped

    gay karmic cosmic law

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