CDC DISCOVERS CAUSE OF DEATH IN VAPING INCIDENTS

Good news millennial faggots.

It was the fucking vitamins all along. I always knew those things weren’t any good for you.

U.S. health officials finally have a potential breakthrough in the vaping illness outbreak that’s killed at least 39 people, narrowing in on vitamin E acetate as a “potential toxin of concern,” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention officials said Friday.

The compound used in supplements, cosmetics and vaping products was detected in all 29 lung tissue samples from patients that health officials tested, Dr. Anne Schuchat, the CDC’s principal deputy director, told reporters on a conference call.

“We have a potential toxin of concern from biological samples in patients,” Schuchat said. “We are in a better place than we were a few weeks ago in terms of finding a culprit.”

It should come as no surprise that pot stocks are ripping today.

Get out there kids and start vaping again — totally fucking safe sans the vitamins.

My battles inside WallStreetBets continues, as I make my presence known — slapping the shit out of the other mods — applying punitive “flair” to their little names.

For now, the founder is still a fan, appreciative of my good work. This of course will end poorly — but I have no choice in the matter. There’s a lot of slackers over there, rookies, and retards who do not know how to properly corral an audience of autistic man-childs.

Nicely done. Keep up the good work.

— wallstreetbets (@wallstreetbets) November 8, 2019

On the issue of the trade war, incredibly obscure. No one knows what the fuck is going on — not even Trump.

I sense some downside in the future.

Fully long — dick protruding outward into the transom — literally nothing in my way but the door. We’re late in the week and today’s rally was weak AF. I realize you’re all very nice people and deserve the best — because you’re all so smart and wonderful and immeasurably keen — but you’re going to lose some coin tomorrow. That’s just the way it has to be.

I progressed today, as it is my place to do so. I make an effort each and every day to enlighten those around me — through harsh words and kinetic force. Sometimes my good deeds go unnoticed — but that’s ok. “The Fly” is patient and waits eagerly in the tall tall grass waiting for his opportune to present itself.

One topic of note in Exodus today was dogs, and how it pertains to retail spending trends. The gist of the conversation went like this:

Fuck dogs. We treat them like shit. We feed them barely anything. We never spend money on them. In China rich people kick them really hard for barking. Etc.

Exhausting, really. Dogs should not be kicked, but eaten. We all know what a wonderful tasting animal The Dog is and how inexpensive they are. Why, you could go to the local rescue now and order 10 pitbulls and eat them by tonight!

Fucking off for now.

We have such a wonderful juxtaposition between the wealthy and the broke-ass bitch-ass government. This relationship leads to us to one road, heavy taxation of the rich in order to subsidize the burdens of government for the purposes of grift and retention of power. How else does one explain how Elizabeth Warren is a presidential candidate? Eventually, and this goes without saying, socialism will grip its tiny wiry hands around America’s neck — out of necessity.

Mathematically, there is zero chance we extricate ourselves from the $23 trillion debt hole, not including the trillions more in entitlements. The idea that rates could go higher in our lifetime is a laughable idea — one that should be met harshly with leather whips to the back and neck. Do not ever suggest rates are going up in my presence.

Rates “bottomed” in an interesting spot, one that has marked the bottom several times the past decade. But it won’t last — because America is fucking flat broke.

Bear in mind, this doesn’t mean stocks go lower. As a matter of fact, stocks will continue to go higher — but the tax burden will too. Eventually there will be a major tax initiative when enough normies hate billionaires enough to seize their shit. Until then, we play the game of cat and mouse — pretending we’re not barreling down this path — celebrating “capitalism” in all of its grande fairness.

Important reminder for you absolute faggots out there.

If you should happen to own stocks that are doing poorly in the midst of a big run, you’re in the wrong stocks. If you’re in the wrong stocks, you either need to elongate your time frame for a best ideas approach or you’re an idiot on the precipice of loss.

After going 17 for my last 19, I just booked three losses in a row. This is what happens when the bulls gets that exuberance.

(LK -10.2%)
(TEVA 7.9%)
(YELP -9.3%)

The worst part is TEVA screaming higher today — but oh well.

Truth is, I am a Master Ace stock trader and could never lose for an extended period of time — even if I tried. Some of you might take a foray into my world and get BOGGED out immediately during one of my downturns, but that’s your fault because you were stupid and didn’t know how to size positions correctly and only chose some of my ideas and not all. If you’re eating my fish, you need to eat them all in order to attain the full experience. By cherry picking my ideas, you are essentially being a stock picker of a stock picker, in one of the most volatile games in the world — rendering my craft, my modern living work of art, meaningless shit.

We’re set to rally hardcore today off news of yet another trade war victory for the President. It looks like the beautiful tariffs that no one knew existed in real life might go away. Maybe, who really knows?

I got caught with my cock in the door, having bought some SOXS yesterday. ‘Tis is life gentlemen. ‘Tis is life.

In other news, $CGC started a new venture with spoiled brat and former star of Degrassi, Rapper Drake. In the deal, a company called “More Life” will be formed, giving Drake 60%, Canopy 40%, in an attempt to sell pot to kids and millennials who enjoy Drake’s brand of music. It’s genius, actually. This is as good a reason to buy a pot stock than anything else. Teaming up with the most popular rapper to sell drugs to an idiot consumer base!? How could they lose?

Busy fucking day here at House Fly, southern plantation edition.

For those of you playing at home. Stocks are up huge on the YTD basis and we’re in earnings season, during the latter part of the year. Thanks fucking Giving is just around the bend and spirits are high. This is the point along the narrative when retards go crazy and start taking big gambles. As you know, Le Fly isn’t a man to partake in such chicanery and merely observes bad behavior from afar. I bought 5 stocks today, sold 4 or 5 and have done well — really really well. I do not ever intend to become an option trading degenerate and I will never leverage my Robinhood account 500x just for the sake of posting memes. There are smart people in this world, and then there’s everyone else.

I do a lot of shit talking on this site and I do enjoy the banter, but please never forget the focus here, especially with real money and real lives on the line. “You’re only as good as your last trade” applies for gamblers only. In the big scheme of things, you’re only as good as your Sharpe ratio over the past 5. If you don’t know what that means, quit being a lazy American and do some research.

Good day.

Markets are resting at record highs. No complaints — you absolute faggots.

I bought three stocks today, all down, and all make me feel fucked. I might lose on all three, or make money on all three. Like the market, I too trade in peaks and valleys. My eternal strength emanates from the sun and the souls of my ancestors, which powers me like a ray of fucking energy to destroy all of my enemies. At times there are periods of rest, even drawdowns, but these lulls serve as way stations en route of supreme victory.

Last night I was “moderating” on WallStreetBets, the popular sub-reddit for finance, when all of a sudden a SALTY MOTHERFUCKER came upon me and started to fuck with my divine powers. The other mods were all like jealous little bitches that Dr. Fly was amongst them, being a Divine God with Supreme Commander medals upon his person. This one chap STRIPPED ME and subjugated all of my comments to their fag-box to rot in hell. This comes after yours truly just cemented a viral post, extracting information from another autistic retard who took $3k and leveraged it to $1.7m.

This of course could not and would not stand.

So I did what any reasonable and rationale man would do — take to Twitter and press my case with the founder. He recommended I write this mod a “strongly worded letter” — which I already had done.

See, I said something nice pic.twitter.com/YjIMn9r0GD

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) November 6, 2019

Shortly thereafter, my powers were restored, the faggot who stripped me put into his place, Le Fly reigns supreme once again.

Now that I got the childish antics out of the way, I can tell you what I did today.

BAM! slaps 5 fish onto your fucking desk.

TVIX +3.3%
(NEWR -5%)
PODD +3.2%
CYBR +11%
COHR +1.2%

No big deal. I was in the hole in PODD — they came out and smashed earnings and now I’m profitable. CYBR smashed and NEWR fucked over. All in all, a fine bounty.

I verified it and it’s fucking real. Someone used the “Infinite Leverage” cheat on Robinhood and did this.

$3k to $1.7m at Robinhood courtesy of high level autism @wallstreetbets pic.twitter.com/cM09LZVKWa

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) November 6, 2019

ROBINHOOD WHAT THE FUCK pic.twitter.com/BAZpbPnEaO

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) November 6, 2019

OH SHIT ITS REAL. $3k turned into $1.7m on Robinhood using INFINITE LEVERAGE CHEAT pic.twitter.com/oFloUhFBNI

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) November 6, 2019

This fucking psycho took $3k and sold ITM calls to infinity and then margined the fuck out of it. He’s either going to be on a yacht soon or in jail.

You can view the thread on WallStreetBets here.

In July, Robinhood raised money and was valued at $7.6b and planned to IPO in late 2019 or 2020. Given the recent turn of events, where they quite literally cannot stop the buying, I don’t see how that is possible. Who in their right fucking mind wants to own this business?