PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: NO MORE FUCKING FREE TRIALS

I feed people fish on a daily basis in Exodus. I do not make empty promises to lowly people to “teach them how to trade”, which is equal to teaching a dog how to fly. I do not teach anything — I feed people fish. I take the fish and place it into your face. That’s the concept of the service. We have predictive algorithms and lots of data and a wide open community of fuckers who trade in real time; but at the end of the day — they come for the fish.

I need to wrap this up now.

This is in response to an email I received from someone who thought he was in a free trial after signing up and paying money.

FREE TRIALS ARE CANCELED, INDEFINITELY. I will not be changing my mind in this regard. I am a fisherman who travels the ocean, far and wide, in search of delicious fish. Sometimes I cram the fish into your face and you choke on the bones. Other times I get sushi grade tuna and you love it. This is the nature of Exodus.

Good day to you, Sir.

All we have are weapons and the stock market. Without them, we are nothing — meaningless fat slothful nation of racists and weirdos living in overpriced hellscapes. So the question I pose before you is simple, if not philosophic.

Is it wise to short or hold shorts into the hole?

Just a simple academic question from a deep thinker.

I closed out my TZA short today for a 4.7% overnight success and now hold a fuckload of cash, a few defensive positions, and one or two longs. If forced to make a move, I mean absolutely forced, I’d close my eyes and go long into the final hour of trade — with the intent to sell tomorrow.

BIG developments in stock land today.

We’ve got VIX above 20. Panic mode.
We’ve got oil getting hit and oil stocks smashed.
We’ve got gold and bonds tough as nails, ripping upwards.
And we’ve got today’s special high yield and leverage loans shredded soup.

Last year was different, or was it? It’s happening again — just like it did then. Who am I to stand of the way of reversion? Get your pees and qs in order, son — for if the shit hits the fan this time around –it’ll be for keeps. Millennial faggots trapped to death inside of their commission free Schwab accounts — ironically bogged out. Maybe we rally, or maybe we don’t. Feeling tough? I bet you are, but not for long.

I have more than 50% cash in my trading account and have been that way for a few days. There was a disruption in the Matrix which caused me to miss some trades. Now I find myself long TZA in an overnight trade from yesterday.

THAT’S WHO I AM — and you’re nothing.

Fuck you, go home and play with your kids.

Small caps got BOGGED the fuck out. I bore witness to the carnage while luxuriously cavorting with men of leisure, East of Sheridan. Private clubs only, so fuck off and go hang out at your local arcade.

I sold out of my TVIX position, redeeming myself and locking in well earned gains. I’m heavy cash now, still hedged, betting on a continuation of this drop. God willing we can truly drop tomorrow and begin the end — into the new year — fucking everyone. Crash EEEEEET.

The end result, whichever way the winds blow, will be winship at House Fly. Look at the stats.

I had a 4x position or 20% of my account long TVIX into this fucking tragedy. I just blew it out for a fantastic gain. All of a sudden, I find myself 75% cash and 5 winning trades in a row, a very successful and distinguished man.

See kids, let this be a lesson to you. Good men, truly great traders, always come out ahead. Just yesterday I was lamenting over retarded trades gone sideways. Today I am a champion amongst champions, stallion with the biggest dick ever.

What’s next?

Stay tuned Exodus.

Now one of the youngsters, just like you, Dr. Fly is now going to educate you about today’s tape via pictures. Us millennials are all genderless avocado toast eating, bitcoin tax loss having, pot heads. We don’t have time to read books or news. We want our info in memes or pictures.

So here goes.

WOWZERS!

What sort of fucking planet do we live on anyway? What will full service brokers do now? Fucking Schwab announced they are reducing trade commissions to ZERO, effective now — sending shares of other online brokers into the shitter.

“This is our price. Not a promotion. No catches. Period,” added CEO Walt Bettinger.

The firm made about $400m in fees from their EXPENSIVE $4.95 commissions last year and now they’re fucked. This is all happening because millennial favorite Robinhood came out a few years ago with a zero commish platform. Granted, they fuck people over in other ways, namely privacy related, but the kids love it.

This of course is all about luring millennial and zoomer faggots back into the fold — a grab for assets. They know, the brokers, that young folks couldn’t give a shit about their platform. Bear in mind, these are people who like Minecraft and other retro-retarded software games and apps. They’re accustomed to low tech garbage, which is why they love Robinhood.

Bottom line: full service brokers are rampaging throughout their offices today, 100% dinosaur’d, in the streets and fucked. Investment advisors are still able to hoodwink people into believing their fees are worthwhile. They will go by the wayside too, once AI gets good enough to replace them. Then the brokers will truly drown in misery, for they’re now heavily dependent upon advisors and their assets.

Good morning lads.

Last year this time you were all talking extreme shit, only to get your teeth punched out clean inside of two short months. The major difference between then and now is rates. Back then the Fed was still independent and wanted to hike rates, causing leveraged loans to fuck themselves. This go around the Fed is slashing rates and We Work is under pressure for being a scam. I don’t know, does a $47 billion disaster mean anything? Asking for a friend.

This go around, we’re all powerful and strong, chests out and cocks hard. We walk around with confidence, no matter the news. President impeached? Fuck him. Bad economic data? Fuck off. See, just like that, I dismissed all of the worries and can noW feel good about going long equities.

Can the market swan dive this year like last year?

No, absolutely not. The market never does what you expect it to do, especially follow the exact path of the previous year. It’s very likely we’ll do the exact opposite of what people think will happen.

Futures are +65 and everything is SAFU. Today is my Quant reshuffling day and I’m still REELING from a few trading account losses from yesterday. Hopefully I can clear those out, get back to winning again, and also fix some of the technical issues that were fucking me yesterday inside Exodus.

Wish me luck!