iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,464 Blog Posts

IF YOU’RE NOT BUYING STEEL NOW — YOU’RE A TRAITOR

Fuck yeah, ‘merica.

I’ve wrapped myself in the American flag, Budweiser can in tow, and purchased shares of AKS. After I bought them, I went outside and farmed a little bit, let off 300 rounds from my AR-15, and then proceeded to light fireworks for the next 30 minutes. After that, I BBQd some fucking hotted dogs and baked beans, and then washed it down with some iced tea, whilst watching repeats of the 1969 World Series.

The chart on AKS looks dreamy. Plus, it is my patriotic duty to buy these shares. If you don’t buy them, you are a traitor, in no uncertain terms.

MAGA, Top Kek, LOCK HER UP, BUILD THE WALL, Drain the swamp. Based! Tired of winning?

Fucking cringe.

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9 comments

  1. sarcrilege

    Also, MAGA patriots give twitter the finger and go parade on Mastodone, the open source alternative to the marxist platform Twitter where bolsheviks plan their communist revolution and genocide of patriots.
    https://mastodon.social/about

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  2. ferd

    and twtr +3%

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    • og

      Yup. Crazy run since they became profitable. Just needs to clean itself up so it can get bought out.

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  3. dbl007

    Unfortunately Bud is InBev now. An all American brew is Sierra Nevada pale ale. Thanksgiving & Christmas season go with their Celebration. Can’t go wrong.

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    • Dr. Fly

      I know and I regularly tell people that. But the Bud brand is synonymous with rural retards.

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  4. numbersgame

    Flag shorts + beads? I’m not sure if that guy belongs at a MAGA event or at a Gay Pride parade. Sounds like denial/identity crisis to me.

    In 5 years, he can look back on the footage from the GoPro mounted on his chest and have a good laugh (“What was I thinking?”)

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  5. ferd

    Trump’s 25% tariff will never happen. Market is saying that something’s being done to isolate/mitigate the impact of his word spasm.

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  6. infinitezuul

    These tariffs are taking forever. Just launch a nuke at China’s illegal military island that Obama OK’d.

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