Crude Looked Into the Depths of Hell and Produced Another Fake OPEC Rumor

Crude oil was about to die earlier today, up until the moment when an OPEC rumor hit the tape — saving the House of Saud and everyone who is employed in their harems. I won’t even bother discussing the rumor — because it’s likely 100% bullshit. It did, however, produce the desired affect on markets: sharply higher WTI and Brent crude prices.

Today’s obvious winners were in the dry bulk shippers. Shares of DRYS lifted higher by a genteel 212%, while EGLE and ESEA lifted by more than 40%. None of this makes sense, whatsoever. Speculators have returned to the market with vigor — bidding up all of the fashionable global growth story names.

In other words, a Trump candidacy means global growth will return in full force. Or, maybe ‘they’ are bidding up these assets now, while Obama is in office, in order to crash them after the inauguration. This way, the optics of a Trump administration is damaged from day 1, effectively neutering his administration.

While that theory is heavily conspiratorial, like a bitch, it isn’t far fetched when taking into consideration how high the stakes are for our globalist overlords.