iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

Rest Assured: The Correction is Coming

Apple computer is dropping today, just two days after perverts around the world united around the mammaries of young celebrities. But that is only the tip of the iced berg, mate.

All of you woke up this morning to lies. You ate those lies and now you are shitting out losses.

General Stalingrad Putin didn’t sign a fucking cease fire with The Ukraine. That’s the most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard. After all, how could Putin sign a peace treaty when he hasn’t done anything wrong?

Indeud.

The tumult around the world will continue. US treasuries will serve as a beacon of freedom and safety from the treachery of equity markets. You’ve been very spoiled, haven’t you? All summer long you’ve been playing about the chinese sanded box, making money in all sorts of unsavory names.

THE DAY OF RECKONING fast approaches and those who surrender will be executed on spot: the Black Flag, sir.

As for me, I have 15% cash, lots of boring utilities, and a load worth of TLT. You mustn’t worry about my prospects, for I am in possession of a God damned plutonium powered time machine.

You may now continue playing in the gutter, throwing equine feces at one another.

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26 comments

  1. Rags2Riches

    Many of my friends work in corporate America. I have to say, they do jack shit. Barely show up, hope on a few phone calls and fill out a timecard. But they rip on social welfare. I see no differences to be honest. In fact, some might say the social welfare guys has to work harder for those checks. Just me saying yo.

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  2. OG

    Almost back to my March highs. What a crazy ride.

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  3. dfasd

    buy NUGT. prints mid 50’s this month

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  4. Billy Cutting

    1.21 GIGAWATTS

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5cYgRnfFDA

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  5. Murph

    Lighten up Francis

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  6. dfasd

    Abderrahmane Mekkaoui, a Moroccan military expert, told Al Jazeera television, which first reported the airline theft Aug. 21, the alert regarding the stolen jetliners was preventive and covers the region from Cairo to Lagos Nigeria.

    Mekkaoui said the jets are being held by the Libyan group called Masked Men Brigade, which was designated as a foreign terrorist organization by the State Department in December.

    The Masked Men Brigade is linked to al Qaeda and Ansar al Sharia—the group behind the Benghazi terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2012.

    Until the Libya Dawn takeover of the airport, announced Aug. 24, two other militia groups, known as Al Qaqa and Al Sawa controlled the airport and all aircraft belonging to Libyan Airlines and Afriqiyah Airways.

    Mekkaoui said “credible intelligence” reports given to states in the region indicated the Masked Men Brigade “is plotting to use the planes in attacks on a Maghreb state” on the 9/11 anniversary.

    Counterterrorism expert Sebastian Gorka said that if the theft is confirmed, the stolen aircraft could be used in at least two ways.

    “The first would be how commercial airliners were used on Sept. 11, 2001, literally turning an innocent mode of mass transit into a super-high precision guided missile of immense potency,” said Gorka, who holds the Maj. Gen. Charles Horner chair at Marine Corps University in Quantico, Va.

    “The second tactic could be to use the airframe with its civilian markings as a tool of deception to insert a full payload of armed terrorists into a locale that otherwise is always open to commercial carriers,” he said.

    Michael Rubin, a counterterrorism specialist with the American Enterprise Institute, said commercial jetliners in the hands of terrorists could be formidable weapons.

    “Who needs ballistic missiles when you have passenger planes? Even empty, but loaded up with fuel they can be as devastating,” Rubin said.

    “Each plane could, if deployed by terrorists to maximum devastating effect, represent 1,000 civilian casualties.”

    Among the potential targets are urban areas and economic targets, like Saudi Arabia’s oil fields.

    “Anyone who has ever flown over Saudi Arabia at night can see refineries like Yanbu lit up like Christmas trees against the blackness of the desert,” Rubin said. “One Saudi security officer once told me that they would only have about 90 seconds to shoot down a hijacked plane from the time it left international airspace to impact in one of the region’s most important refineries.”

    Rubin said in 2003 a Boeing 727 went missing in Africa fueling concerns about a terror attack on the U.S. consulate in Karachi.

    “What is striking is that more than a decade later, the United States hasn’t taken the need to safeguard what are effectively giant guided missiles seriously,” he said.

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    • jimmy_two_times

      Sorry, I call BS on being able to use these jets. You’re telling me that US intelligence, or others for that matter wouldn’t know these jets are coming? Maybe they hit some African nation, but any true western power is hard to believe. Christ. They have a record of these posts once I hit submit!

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  7. BadDuck

    Mkt off of earlier highs. This is the dip to buy. Generational low on the way to S&P 3000

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  8. Greg

    If anyone would like to regularly pickup hundreds of pounds of equine feces… Bring in the hay and haul out the crap, that’s the ongoing operation.
    This is horse ownership on a budget. Makes the cat litter box a joy.

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  9. Genghis Khan

    Nice recovery on your YTD losses Mr. Petey. If you can end the year flat that would be a huge achievement, especially seeing you were -32% just a few months ago. We are watching you closely.

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  10. The Wasp

    @The Fly – Wrong. Your TLT will shed points faster than a fetid dog shed’s fleas. You will need more than 15% cash pal. Judgement day looms.

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  11. Kevin

    Sir Fly, if you are expecting correction, why not selling or taking profit all your holdings ? Means you expect small 3-5% correction instead of 15-20% ? Thank you.

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  12. Steve Job's Corpse Can Suck Ass
    Steve Job's Corpse Can Suck Ass

    Welcome to shark week bitches – this market has jumped it. Stay too long and you’ll end up wishing you were watching reruns of Joanie Loves Chachi. Ayyyyyyyye. Until the shit clears:

    50% cash. Once Putin completes his takeover of the Ukraine, Estonia, and France – and ISIS is having a pool party at the White House there will be deals to be had.

    40% gold, very long gold (just added 10% in past two days). Bitches love gold.

    10% in two tech stocks that represents 30% of the realized 2014 gains on said stocks, playing with their money.

    Making a sammich! A big fucking sammich.

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  13. jessiej

    I might wanna go into recluse mode too soon

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  14. jessiej

    Why do I have avatar when I post here but nowhere else

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  15. it is showtime

    It’s how you finish

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  16. Titan78

    ‘perverts around the world united around the mammaries of young celebrities’ = 2014’s equivalent of bread and circuses

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  17. Raise taxes, cut spending
    Raise taxes, cut spending

    ” throwing equine feces at one another”.

    I lived in Saskatchewan when the milk was still being delivered by horse drawn carts. They never bothered with horse diapers or cleaning up after the horses. Us kids would throw the frozen horse apples at each other on the way to school. Lotsa fun.

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