iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,443 Blog Posts

ACK, ACK, ACK

I am going to level with you, without the curses and the jokes and the sarcasm.

I am a Space Alien Magician from the planet Boomshacklacka. I’ve come to your planet to bank coin and help small losers, such as yourself, prod along with me. I do not care about economic statistics because they have nothing to do with how the numbers and letters relate to one another. Some of you get very emotional when it comes to buying and selling letters and numbers. That’s why you are poor and I drive in space rockets heading for the Sun. I’ve noticed, in my travels, that people want things to end badly. They harbor disdain for the ruling elite and their jealousy makes them say and do stupid things.

For example: many of you dislike Goldman Sachs because they win all the time. I happen to like Goldman Sachs and feel all American investment banks should operate exactly like them. I have a keen fondness for bankers, because they tend to see things for what they truly are: numbers and letters.

I buy and sell stocks based upon my proprietary algorithms, advice from the shadows near my favorite urinal, nightmares and revenge trades. I do enjoy a good short squeeze, from time to time, because I find people who lie about the letters and numbers, in order to increase numbers, to be reprehensible. On my planet, lying short sellers are vaporized on the spot. On your planet they walk around with fancy bow ties and harangue others from well trafficked websites, an abomination in my opinion.

For the month of February, I am long inflationary plays, namely gold, silver and agricultural names. I believe they will “springboard” higher and torture those who bet against them. Stocks like EXK, NGD, AGU and MOS are crowd favorites for the month of February.

Other stocks worth mentioning are ATPG, BORN, KEG and FORM, all selected by my own hand in an effort to increase my digits.

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44 comments

  1. TJWP

    I’m glad the shadow by your urinal has been mentioned again. I was worried he had taken a sabbatical to cause this unrest in Egypt.

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  2. TraderRenn

    For all BORN fans… The Geo team has not always been critical of this company. You can see from our report July 28th 2010 where we suggest that BORN appeared undervalued and we gave positive estimates.

    http://www.geoinvesting.com/forums/yaf_postsm5048_-Reprint-of-Raise-a-Glass-to-BORN-from-Wednesday.aspx#singleMsg

    Our charter at Geo is to provide investors with tools to make informed decisions.

    We are not out to sack stocks. Our goal is to prevent investors from being sacked (as we’ve been there and it sucks). We do have a team in China. Feel free to browse our “on the ground in China” video investigations, etc. You can also interact with our PRC attorney as he investigates the operations of U.S. Listed Chinese Securities in real time.

    Geo team members have been a cohesive force in the market since the mid 90’s. Two of us have been together since 1988 – back before you could buy stocks on the internet and e-trade was a discount (phone service) broker called TradePlus.

    Check with us anytime you need more fundamental information on a China company. We may have a video report or document that will help you along the way to making sound investment decisions. We also follow 916 strong domestic growth companies for those who prefer to invest locally.

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  3. The Fly

    lol @ BORN fans. They are all rentals Renn

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  4. Quint

    Hmmmm, Friday morning dip….I wonder if there is a slight chance it gets bought into the afternoon because next comes Monday and I’ve often heard that it is an up day in the market? Hmmmm.

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  5. drummerboy

    planet boomshacklacka huh,thats a resort town for old and retired 70’s rockers.monsanto grows space bud there.

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    • Darryl Dawkins aka Chocolate Thunder aka Dr. Dunkenstein
      Darryl Dawkins aka Chocolate Thunder aka Dr. Dunkenstein

      Nothing beats planet Lovetron. Get you some interplanetary funkmanship.

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  6. FrankWhite

    Love a good revenge trade…..

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  7. clegger_2000

    Ack diddly ack ack

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  8. Sixtyft6

    Fly,
    have you moved away fro IMAX? Thinking that new Cinema install in Cairo may be slow this weekend….

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  9. Quint

    Buying some PWER – didn’t get my 8.91, but I think it bounces…and buying some AIG for an oversold bounce.

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  10. teapotdome

    you love the big investment banks but hate lying short sellers? does not compute.

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  11. TraderCaddy

    I imagine there has been no announcement yet from Egypt because Mubarak is at the airport and going through their “TSA” security and making him strip and throw out his liquids.

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    • surplusdroids

      Trader Caddy, I wish you would replace Kudlow. Or at least special guest. Been following your comments hear for a long time. They are great.

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      • JakeGint

        Treu — if Trader Caddy would give up the “other interest” under which he was formerly invested, he could be an iBC tabbed blogger and full time trader.

        He’s funny, too.

        _____

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        • TraderCaddy

          Thanks for the compliments.
          But, I would never be able to replace Kudlow.
          I have never been through rehab and the cleaners lost my zoot suit 40 years ago.
          However, I did vote for Nixon (big fan of Spiro Agnew–not really).

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  12. retox

    ____________________
    $
    CLAMcopter———–X ~ ~ ~
    / \
    $$
    $$ $ $
    $ $ $ $ $

    0 <(fucking bananas)
    /[]\
    /\

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    • surplusdroids

      oh shit. clam copter malfunction. Spreads widen between dollars and bananas.
      disclosure: long lulz.

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  13. retox

    holding on to the EUR short squeeze – thinking it could retrace to 1.3620+

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  14. Dirk Diggler

    Someone hit sell without setting a limit?

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  15. alphadawgg

    “….ATPG, BORN, KEG and FORM, all selected by my own hand in an effort to increase my digits.”

    Nice play on words…”hand”….”digits”.

    If people hate Goldman, then they must hate capitalism. Take it or leave it, Goldman is part of the package.

    On a sports note, if terrorists try to spoil Super Bowl Sunday, I will personally see to it that my friends in “low places” put the hurt on the Muslim Brotha-Hoods.

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  16. Fly

    See ccme?

    Born is next

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    • JakeGint

      Right now it’s perfectly tweezered between the 20 and 50-day EMA’s. I’d give it one more tap of 50-day (12.54-ish) and then off to the races.

      _____

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  17. Hosni Mubarak

    I may want to buy your planet – hows about $2 bill for the whole thing?

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  18. Geoduck

    Stop short of the sun may be a good idea.

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  19. Geoduck

    LULU is the bomb. Hot chicks like cool clothes in the gym.

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    • retox

      The good men @ GS put their “anti-cameltoe tights” on a potential takeover list this morning.

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  20. Hank Moody

    FYI I am owning this market, I am 6% up ytd. Thank you I am going for a surf. Good luck to you seppo’s from Australia!

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    • retox

      No joke Hank.

      This week, I took over 600 ticks in oil, 140 ticks in RBOB, and over 200 pips in EUR/USD in 5 trades thanks to this site (one still open).

      Between the TA I learned from CA and the overall understanding of the realities of this market that I’ve picked up from Fly, Alpha, & RC, I’ve been trading like a fucking pimp for 2 years.

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    • TraderCaddy

      If Fly hurries he could beat Mark Cuban and Martin Luther King III and buy into the Mets.
      Change the name of the stadium to iBC field and have all of the tabbed bloggers work the beer concessions (except you know who- has a problem).

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      • Quint

        So where does MLK III get all that cash to buy into the Mets – I thought donations were supposed to go to civil rights causes?

        Oh, that’s right – the Mets are oppressed.

        Let’s see them discuss this on MSNBC.

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  21. Quint

    JNPR – breaking to a new 10-year high?

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  22. David Tepper

    Would be good to see you put your brass on the line and pick a short for once…

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