iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,442 Blog Posts

The Market is Hacked

There is nothing for you to say or do. The market no longer adheres to the rules of reason and justice, just government programmers. The economy, from every perspective, is booming. The auction houses are enjoying record revenue, thanks to the emergence of the Chinese elite class. You will hear of such things during May’s auctions. So, you might as well get in [[BID]] ahead of that news and make a few million in the process.

Immediately, we should all put our sandwiches down and make many millions of dollars, long stocks—with reckless abandon. On Pinocchio’s nose, both TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] are going much, much higher. In addition, I should average down in my albatross, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , because as sure as I am sitting here, it is bound to go ape shit to the upside.

See folks, the robots are broken and the market has been hacked. If the world ended today, have solace in knowing your 401k plan will continue to appreciate, 0.5% per day, until the end of time. On a personal level, I am not pleased with my asinine [[VXX]] position; but it could have been worse. On the ears of Zeus, I could have been riding in the FAZmobile or the SRScopter. Anyway, the time for regret and internal emotional battles is over. Le market is giving you a french kiss, whether you want it or not—sort of like Pepe Le Pew. I suggest you spray paint a white line on your back and take it, with great veracity and unending enthusiasm!

Cheers!!

Before I Forget Update: Danny has a great post up. Check it out, fuckburglars.

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21 comments

  1. scott

    more liked hackneyed…

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  2. No One

    What’s new?
    You just re-discovered the new world?
    Welcome to the Matrix.

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  3. scott

    Oh shit. You’ve thrown in the towel. It should matter, but will it?

    In the “olden-days” it may have. Now? probably not.

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  4. Bow Tie Fucker

    I share your frustration Le Fly. This market is fucking cracked and hacked beyong any sane reason and justification. How on god fking earth is it possible not to have +40 day – this market has been hacked. indeud!

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  5. Frank White

    It is getting a bit surreal. If this is April volume whats the summer gonna be like.
    Fuck, I need to get a job.

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  6. TA

    It’s not fun being stubborn and missing out is it?

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  7. panamaorange

    With XLB, XLE, EEM , FXI, and EFA all hitting strong resistance here–dow 11k is a lot further away than it appears.

    the squeeze in the yen and dollar has begun, its only matter of hours or days before TLT and VXX follow them up

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  8. MOOBER

    Are we consolidating over time, rather than price? Certain stocks are flying, but the indexes are relatively tame.

    Just thinking out loud.

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    • The Fly

      Are you “imaginating” the market is flat? Stocks are ripping. Look at X.

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      • Frank White

        Constant rotation. Make a list of todays losers, they’ll be up 3% tomorrow.

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  9. gsavli

    or maybe turn to other, non-hijacked markets, like uganda or ukraine or something.

    any country that starts with a “u” will do.

    wait a moment….

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  10. billy

    so did you dump all your vxx?

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  11. The Fly

    none of it.

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  12. jimmie

    Rumor has it Mastercard will go up 4 points a day, every day, until the first day of May in 2246. at which time it will drop 2 points.

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  13. Curly

    I want my 40 points and I want it now!

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  14. YaBollox

    40 points on the Dow don’t mean shit here on this board. I haven’t seen a Dow component symbol here– ever!

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