No Cigar

Investors were salsa dancing on the graves of the sideliners today and came close to pushing the market green. Unfortunately, cooler heads prevailed, sending the indices down a smidge, effectively giving the coked out bulls an excuse to buy tomorrow.

We are in the midst of one of the greatest market runs in the history of the stock exchange; and many of you ham and eggers are still jerking off to The Great Roubini’s diatribes. Look you, Roubini was and always will be an asshole, of epic proportions. Most of the Glen Beck crowd are mentally ill and need massive doses of psychotropics, just to cross intersections without getting run over by random 100mph speeding city buses.

Take your handkerchiefs out and throw them on your neighbors beautifully manicured front lawn, and hope the local electricity company decides to jackhammer it.

Top picks: Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]]

The market is officially in “shit mode,” as all of the offal floats to the top of everyone’s buylist. From American International Group, Inc. [[AIG]] to CIT Group Inc. [[CIT]] to American Axle & Manufact. Holdings, Inc. American Axle & Manufact. Holdings, Inc. [[AXL]] to Ambac Financial Group, Inc. [[ABK]] ; it’s a shit storm people and you need to take notice.

Typically, when shit floats to the top like this, it means the end is near. Howsoever, this is exactly the sort of trading activity that bankrupted the short sellers of [[GGC]] in two short weeks. Do not assume the market is topping today, just because AIG ripped the pants off then “cock-chopped” the bears into little pieces. No.

Be wary of a “fuck you, you’re dead” top, but respect the markets authoritai.

Courtesy of The PPT, here are some stocks squeezing (BIG SHORT INTEREST, BOZO) higher:

Nordstrom, Inc. [[JWN]] , Hovnanian Enterprises, Inc. [[HOV]] , VistaPrint Limited [[VPRT]] , USEC Inc. [[USU]] , M&T Bank Corporation M&T Bank Corporation [[MTB]] , Incyte Corporation [[INCY]] , [[MASI]] , Synovus Financial Corp. [[SNV]] , Arbor Realty Trust, Inc. [[ABR]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , SL Green Realty Corp. [[SLG]] , Insulet Corporation [[PODD]] , Patriot Coal Corporation [[PCX]] , Overseas Shipholding Group Inc. [[OSG]] , Blue Nile, Inc. [[NILE]] , US Airways Group, Inc. [[LCC]] , YRC Worldwide Inc. [[YRCW]] , UCBH Holdings, Inc. [[UCBH]] , Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Headwaters Incorporated [[HW]] , Advanced Battery Technologies, Inc. [[ABAT]] , Maguire Properties, Inc. [[MPG]] , MGIC Investment Corp. [[MTG]] , The Macerich Company [[MAC]] , Orient-Express Hotels Ltd. [[OEH]] , CIT Group Inc. [[CIT]] , Lloyds TSB Group plc (ADR) [[LYG]] , Fortress Investment Group LLC [[FIG]] .

With my money, I am not as whorish as some of you are with your 10 second trades. I will allocate a small portion of my cash to one of the above names, in hopes of a lotto run higher.

UPDATE: My short squeeze play is [[PCBC]]. I bought 50,000 in the low $2.30’s.

I bought 20,000 TEKELEC [[TKLC]] in the high $16.80’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stock because of this post, you will require hip replacement surgery. And, you may lose money.

TEKELEC [[TKLC]] just reported better than expected earnings and the stock is down 9%. They are a key player in enabling text messaging for the AT&T Inc. [[T]] (10% cust) and Deutsche Telekom AG (ADR) [[DT]] (15% cust) networks. as well as a major player in building out India’s telecom infrastructure. For the quarter, the company booked 67% gross margins and derived 61% of its orders overseas. In my book, this is an opportunity to get long.

Last week, [[ENTR]] reported better than expected earnings. Since then, the stock has been falling. Once again, I deem this to be another asshole dip buying moment.

Despite today’s market sell-off, the bears are in a very arduous position, with commercial Re and banks in the green. If I was a betting man, which I most certainly am not, I’d bet for a market reversal higher today, effectively peeling the faces off of the shorts, like goat head soup.

Energy is doing okay, with exceptional strength in natty. Look for the rally to start there, then fan out.

As for “The Fly” and his positions: I will try to maintain a 20%+ cash position, at all times, since the market is overbought. Additionally, I will be an advantageous seller and greedy as fuck buyer. Essentially, what I do here, on a daily basis, is living art, which CANNOT be replicated or reproduced. Any attempts to reproduce Le Fly’s methods will result in a stern letter from one of my attorney’s, followed up with a punch in the mustachio.

Also, I deem my returns irrelevant, at this point in time. While my gains are chockful and my wins are bountiful, there is simply no reason for Senor Tropicana to lower himself to the low-grade standards of others, via unchecked hot dogging. “The Fly” is humble in his wins and conducts himself in a way that is not only admirable, but coveted.

In short, I will be buying the dip, even if it makes me look stupid. I have big balls and a deep wallet.

Let Le games begin!

UPDATE: I sold out of my ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] position, just north of $23.45

UPDATE II: I sold out of Abercrombie & Fitch Co. [[ANF]] , north of $29.40

Money is not a problem for anyone visiting the evil confines of Disney World. Generally, “The Fly” limits his spending habits to “low-grade degenerate” while on vacation. However, when you’re at Disney, evil Mickey Mouse takes control of your mind—forcing massive debit card usage.

I was blowing like $100 per day on fucking water bottles, $1k on dining and countless dollars on retarded glow in the dark toys, that spin and shit. All in all, Disney is a terrific place, if you are into just throwing money into fire pits. The way I look at it, I blow 10k on dumbass trades all the time. So, spending 10k on meaningless glow in the dark toys is fair game and good for my karma or chi or whatever the fuck you homofied zen artists call it.

Look you, Disney is a great place to wait in lines and put your body through extreme temperature contests. If you are weak and shit, my guess, you will not leave Disney alive. People with heart conditions will most definitely perish, under the weight of Mickey Mouse’s boot, while waiting in line for some 2 minute water rapids ride, located in “Asia.”

I’ll have you know, “The Fly” enjoyed “Africa” despite the overly racist decorating, concocted by the liberal pussies at Disney. I bought several wooden giraffe’s and made sure to wear a Safari hat, while on the comical Safari adventure truck ride.

My advice, bring the kids to Disney and fall victim to being “Mouse raped,” for it is your duty as an American to do so.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEmK9qFB1Y0 616 500]

I don’t care if you know how to trade or invest. I don’t care if you are rich or poor. All “The Fly” demands is a little respect, when visiting The House of iBankCoin. Many of you are stupid and lack the brain capacity to make money in the markets. Hence, much to my chagrin, you become tradebots, copying the trades of the iBC cognoscenti. Understand something, I do not want you to follow my trades— just watch me.

The purpose of this site is to display the skills of traders who “get it,” not to guide you in and out of stocks. While many of you frequent the blogs of abject morons, who are unable to put three consecutive lines of witty commentary together without stealing from me, a select few of you understand the Godly nature of Senor Tropicana with respects to his “Blogfather status.”

Much of what I say is cloaked behind pointless riddles and hard-to-understand verbal haze, mainly for the purposes of weeding out imbeciles and avid “goat fuckers.” I have taken the liberties of fleecing the stock exchange of “easy coin” through a specific investment thesis, all related to the nascent and ongoing technology revolution. Much of my time is spent studying industries and where investment dollars are going, without the use of “idiot-maps” aka charts.

In closing, I am enthusiastic about the prospects of Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] trading higher in the short term, while incredibly bullish on all of my other positions in the intermediate. However, longer term, I am very suspect of this rally, with regards to its sustainability. Over the next few weeks, start preparing for a cold fall, for the market is always a strong sell when the average retail investor is swinging off of the dicks of low IQ money managers.

UPDATE: iBC presents, new tabbed blogger, CHUCK BENNET’S TWO CENTS.

Just to bring you bastards up to speed, here are my largest positions, in random order:

Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , [[ENTR]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] , [[ARMH]] , [[UNG]] , Abercrombie & Fitch Co. [[ANF]] , ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] , Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] .

Until the Dow touches down on 10,000, I want to be long names with big short positions. Stocks like CMG and Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] will fire cannon grape all over the shorts, if this rally continues; write that down. With regards to FTK, once they secure some financing, I suspect the stock price will rebound quickly, effectively ” Reverse Trump Raping” those who are left holding the bag short.

With my money, I like CMG here, for the $100 roll to $105. And, thanks in large part of fervent PPT support, I am feeling HBAN here—up to $5. My top tech play is ALU, above $3 up to $4.

Essentially, “The Fly” is simply continuing his streak of wins, through perfecting the art of winship. Many of you are unable to grasp the idea of winship, since you are proverbial losers, with no more than 5k in your checking accounts. What you need to do is emulate successful people, such as myself and a select few, for it is your only way of escaping the dark hands of mediocrity.

The market will continue to go higher, since it is the path of least resistance. The bears have been routed. Their resources have been exhausted. This “psychopath run” will cease when men of substance and vigor decide to go to cash. No longer is the market direction dictated by a band of ballsy bearshitters; this is an important distinction. My guess, we have another 2 weeks of market bliss before the “homo-hammer” of certain death rains down on your skulls.

Until then, enjoy!

I bought 125,000 Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] @ $1.25ish, 50,000 Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] $4.25, 2,000 Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] @ $96.39 and 5,000 TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] @ $8.70.

UPDATE: I bought 2,000 SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] @ $9.79

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, Mickey Mouse will kill you in your sleep. And, you may lose money.

I’ve been spending the entire morning looking over the market and building a buy list. I must admit, it is getting incredibly hard to find “cheap” stocks, which is usually a sign that the market is overheating. Nevertheless, I will make it my business to bank some quick coin, get the fuck out, then throw empty pina colada mugs at my trader/servant.

Thus far, for a trade, I am eyeballing Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] and Eastman Kodak Company [[EK]] . Additionally, I will add to my TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] position.

Within my portfolios, I am most impressed with Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] . With the market shooting higher and the technology revolution commencing, the morons from Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] can rectify their underfunded pension situation. If you are interested in playing the 4g roll-out, seriously, ALU is a must own, since they have their filthy French hands in everything.

Finally, at current levels, I may buy back Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] for a dice roll play. The company is turning its business around and would make a great acquisition for a number of telcos.