The Kudlow Crowd “Face Taser” Bears

The Kudlow Crowd, led by Larry himself, are tasering short sellers in the face this morning, on better than expected employment data. Senor Tropicana is making boatloads of coin this morning, with big wins in Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] etc. It pains me to see Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] , UCBH Holdings, Inc. [[UCBH]] and Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] fly higher than HBAN, but that’s life.

I intend to spend the rest of my day, sipping on some lemonade, while throwing chicken bones at some of my bearish colleagues.

The retail broker is dead, thanks in large part to inverse ETF’s. It’s an interesting story that is getting zero airtime. You see, most retail brokers are abject morons, only skilled in the art of sales, not investing. In previous bear markets, they got eaten alive due to their inability to effectively short stocks. Then came the inverse ETF’s. At first, they were a God-send for Captain Coldcaller and Co, enabling them to make money in a bear market— but then came the screwball. The recent implosion of [[SKF]] , [[FAZ]] , [[SRS]] etc. has skinned the average retail broker down to the bone. Right now, the lawyers are busy crushing brokerage firms, through arbitration, under the weight of multiple 7 figure ETF related losses.

Indeud.

If you are in the business, and find yourself to be very stupid, do yourself a favor and take them (FAZ, SKF, SRS etc.) off your screen. You do not need them.

With my time, I will pray for wilderbeasts to bite the lips off of the Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] shit talkers today. Generally speaking, I am having a great day and do not care to ruin it talking to the likes of you.

For your consideration.

Via The PPT:

Sector: Financials
% of shares sold short: 10%+
Price per share: under $5
Average Volume: over 500k
Hybrid Score: Over 2

I think I made the wrong trade, buying more Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] instead of my target Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]] . If you are curious as to my methods, I am looking for banks with big short positions and decent tier one capital (over 8.5%). My immediate buy list includes: HBAN, STSA and Central Pacific Financial Corp. [[CPF]] . As you know, I still own a little Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , but intend to sell that fucker at $3 or better.

I don’t feel like blogging anymore today. I am “blogged out,” with my mind on other things, such as: lifting large barbells over my head, eating stuff and drinking a few glasses of Pappy, courtesy of the venerable Mr. Swan.

So, to sum up my sentiments: I am cautiously long, with more than 30% of assets in cash. I am interested in short squeezes and may begin to trade with a bit more velocity. Some of my larger positions, like Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , are gay and needle me with daily losses. All in all, I am making more money than you because I am smarter, cooler and people give me stuff, out of fear of mustache removal.

I bought 50,000 Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] @ $4.44.

Disclaimer: If you buy HBAN because of this post, your neighbor will siphon electricity from your house. And, you may lose money.

I am calling an audible here by going to cash on a number of names. I sold out of Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] ($11.30+), STMicroelectronics N.V. (ADR) [[STM]] ($7.80+) and [[ARMH]] ($6.20+), while blowing out of 75% of my Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] and Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] positions as well. All in all, my cash position is now nearing 35% and I have little motivation to buy this dip.

The market just “feels” fucked up, like it wants to rape people of their coin. I will have you know, “The Fly” has never been raped and does not intend on allowing that to happen in this lifetime or the next.

I have a long list of stocks on my watchlist, worthy of purchase. However, barring a significant change in tone, I will take my lumps on the remainder of my longs—into the bell—knowing that I have reduced my risk and responsibly booked profits.

For now, I believe this is the best course of action.

While at my favorite urinal, one of the shadows approached me— smoking a cigarette— and said: “listen here, see, get the hell out of here, see, and go sell some stock, alright.” Startled by the cigarette in a public urinal, I kindly asked him to fuck off in the shade somewhere; but he was persistent.

The shadow grabbed a hold of me and slapped me. He said: “for the love of yankee candles, get the hell out of here and sell some of that ALU.”

Long story short, despite loving Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , I had no choice but to sell some, else get harassed by a smoking shadow at my favorite urinal.

There is a lot of chatter going around today, talking shit about the banks. I am hearing tales of dilution and credit losses. Frankly, who gives a rats ass? The market is dipping again and people are always jittery. “The Fly” has about 20% of his assets in cash and the rest invested in a variety of longs. I will not hesistate to sell them all, if necessary of course.

However, I think today is a good day for a market reversal. Can you say “upside reversal”?

Right now, I am digging Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] and STMicroelectronics N.V. (ADR) [[STM]] .  Granted, both HBAN and PCBC are fucking turds, especially PCBC and its deficient tier one capital. Nonetheless, I am in these names for a trade, not meant for investment.

On dips, I like Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] and Corning Incorporated [[GLW]]

UPDATE: On this rip, I sold out of 75% of my [[PCBC]] position, just north of $2.78

I sold out of 75% of my Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] position, just north of $3.16

This is fucking boring. I am too complacent to sell out of my winners and not interested in buying such a minor dip. So, effectively, I have nothing to do, other than talk to people—which is my least favorite thing in the world to do. Sure, it’s important to be out there, jibber-jabberring with influential people, in order to gain business and advance up the ladder of  life. However, I really don’t give a fuck anymore.

Instead, I am more interested in eating large quatities of oatmeal, served in big wooden bowls. And, I really do like my energy soda. Just in case you were wondering, “The Fly” is not some fat fuck on a swivel chair with sandwiches on his desk. As a matter of fact, “The Fly” despises fat people and their “fat-fuck-friendly” ways. Down the open manhole for the fat guy, no matter how big his net worth.

I am sure you are wondering about the stock market and my take on what will happen, over the next 10 mins, 30mins and 5 hours. However, I am not interested in talking about stocks; there are plenty of go-getters on this site who have been performing financial magic tricks: you are more than welcome to venture off and leave me the fuck alone.

Sometime today I may decide to buy or sell something or not.

A great man once said: “if your money is not with Le Fly, then you have an idiot for a broker.”

For the ingrates, on a hot summer night.

Ciao

Don Fly

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6puBQDdVQw 616 500]