What kind of shit was that?
Oil ripped the nex [sic] off of those who like to sell it; and the market applauded then circle jerked higher. To be honest, as opposed to intentionally lying, I am all over the place.
The one thing I learned, over many years of making egregious errors, is this:
When you are unsure about the market, do nothing or do everything.
Meaning: if you are confused because common sense isn’t being translated into market gains, sell everything and go to cash. Or, if you are more experienced and have access to vast amounts of capital, buy everything.
Yesterday, I took a fucking cannon ball to the face, as the banks melted my head off. However, noticing how much risk I was taking, quickly, I went long a variety of names, including [[MS]], [[STI]] and [[UYG]].
Then, early this morning, I bought size in [[AGU]], [[OXY]], more MS, [[UPL]], [[SU]], [[ARD]] and [[RIG]], as oil turned the corner and fucked shorts.
The end result was a +1.5% day. I accomplished this because I disobeyed my brain and went with my gut.
Sometimes it pays to think less and just do.
UPDATE: Wall Streets #1 analyst, Meredith Whitney, just stuttered when Maria “the *****” asked her if [[LEH]] “would make it.”
Someone get me that clip.
UPDATE II: Great read on Merrill’s balance sheet move.
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It must be very confusing to you since you have no trading plan.
You’re instincts are fine but you must have one hell of an ulcer growing in your gut.
Right now the only real players are traders and bigger traders. So as soon as a clear trend emerges and traders jump on, bigger traders come and fuck them over with big bids. About as simple as that. Today big traders took OIH thru the roof. As soon as the traders join — it’s over.
THE SITE OF THE FLY BEEING ASS RAPED MAKES ME HORNY FOR MONEY
Tly? No tly. Only do.
Maria feeding bad info initially re: SBUX. Moron.
SBUX misses Fly’s business. How long can he drink out of the same SBUX cup (with the Dunkin’ coffee inside)?
“The market applauded and circle jerked higher.”
That’s Gold Fly! Gold!!
One of the best closing comments in a long time!
lmao…
Sometimes I think I’ve grown to accustomed and indifferent to the angrily twisted, egotistical and frat-like humor of Fly. I think, it’s such sophomoric shit, really. I mean think about it – the guy refers to himself as The Fly — does it get any more gay than that?
And then the crazy, Mets loving fuck writes: “I took a fucking cannon ball to the face as the banks melted my head off.” — and I tilt my head back and laugh, and am reminded why I visit this fucked up blog —
And in closing: the Mets suck, forever.
Working Man, to be clear, The Fly only refers to himself as “The Fly” when he is winning.
DUG -10% SMN -10%
SPY + 1.5 %DOW +1.5%
Banks on Fire
Fascinating INDEED
Bought some GRMN at $37 Good Times.
I guess I should be flattered about all these imitations, but I’m somewhat nonplussed.
It’s the jokes that are the funny part, the monikers are only props.
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Fly ever consider putting together a book, “Essays of the Fly” ala Warren Buffet?
Maybe with a few, Charles Addams cartoons of goverment BS.
Still holding DUG @ 31..
Why sum yu give my yoda negative karma? Yoda collect. Fry onry tawk shit when he winning.
Do you think Lex Luthor and the Beard have a buyout plan ready for “the City” tomorrow after HBOS reports? This was the news from that “tiny” bank, Lloyd’s today —
Britain’s banks were rocked today when Lloyds TSB reported a plunge in profits of £1.4 billion – a 70 per cent fall.
The result was far worse than a pessimistic City was expecting and raised fears for high street rivals.
HBOS, which owns Halifax, reports tomorrow and Alliance & Leicester the day after.
Lloyds TSB blamed the global credit crunch and losses in its insurance business. The figures will heighten government fears that more small banks could collapse like Northern Rock. Lloyds was regarded as the most conservative of the big banks and had won praise for resisting the temptation to make risky loans during the boom years.
Lloyds said it expected house prices to fall by up to 15 per cent this year, which would push tens of thousands of people into negative equity.
Banks have come under fire from consumer groups for squeezing customers with high charges as they themselves struggle with the downturn. Critics of the industry say not enough banking bosses have accepted responsibility for their failures by resigning.
Lloyds TSB chief executive Eric Daniels warned the British economy was facing a sharp slowdown in the coming months, and will grow by only 1.6 per cent this year – far lower than Treasury estimates of two per cent.
He said the crisis in the financial markets and falling house prices “have impacted consumer confidence and contributed to lower growth” in the last six months.
The bank made £599 million in the six months to June, down from almost £2 billion a year ago.
It said its performance reflected good “momentum”. But the City is now fearful for the company. Simon Pilkington of Cazenove said: “We perceive a longterm challenge to the group’s position.”
Lloyds shares were the biggest faller in the FTSE this morning, down 19p at 302p, with HBOS falling 7p at 265¾p.
The Merrill CDO sale just gets better and better. There’s a clause in the sale agreement that if the CDOs continue to go down in price. Lone Star gets to sell the crap back to Merrill at the original price. Of course, if this crap goes up Lone Star cashes in. Dodgy balance sheet games by MER, Mystery thinks.
Well, I just had my Maria for the month – wanted to see Meredith Whitney and had to stomach Maria – she is bad… thank God for dry toast Bloomberg in the afternoon
Jakegint,
would’nt be the first time Bank of England is on the brink of failing.
It will be very interesting to see how the new president handles this bag of shit. We have yet to see a “black monday” maybe in the fall as fund managers sell for tax purposes.
Buckeye — what did Meredith say?
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More trick fuckery, courtesy of FASB, this time. “We’d really really like to make things more transparent for investors… but…. we just… caaaaan’t.
FASB votes to delay off-balance sheet rule changes
Reuters, Wednesday July 30 2008 (Updates with quotes, background, adds byline)
By Emily Chasan
WILMINGTON, Del., July 30 (Reuters) – The Financial Accounting Standards Board, which sets U.S. accounting rules, voted on Wednesday to delay accounting changes that would affect trillions of dollars in off-balance sheet assets at banks and financial companies.
Reversing an earlier decision to make some parts of the rule change effective at the end of this year, FASB members voted that the rule should take effect all at once, for reporting periods after Nov. 15, 2009.
FASB voted in April to revamp two accounting standards known as FAS 140 and FIN 46R, to eliminate a concept known as the “qualifying special-purpose entity,” or QSPE, that banks use to keep assets like mortgage-backed securities and special investment vehicles off their balance sheets.
At their meeting on Wednesday, FASB members said the delay was necessary because a formal proposal has not yet been issued. Proposals are subject to public comment periods and revisions, leaving little time for companies to adopt the rule if parts of it were to take effect for reporting periods after the end of this year, the board members said.
“It’s just not practical that we would be able to issue the final standard in time,” FASB member Thomas Linsmeier said. (“No, the Beard would have our families killed,” he added. — ed.)
The delay means that most U.S. companies would not have to adopt the changes until they issue financial reports for fiscal 2010.
Several FASB members, however, said they were delaying the rule’s effective date “reluctantly,” because investors would benefit from clearer information about the risks banks face from off-balance sheet assets now.
The current standard “was stretched beyond recognition,” FASB Chairman Robert Herz said at the meeting.
Over the past month, FASB has received requests from lawmakers and industry groups to slow down the rule, as concerns about the effect of the accounting changes on capital requirements at financial institutions were partially blamed for the recent fall in shares of mortgage lenders Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.
(IOW, “concerns about the effects of forcing the recognition of steaming portfolio shitpiles” were blamed.” –ed.)
Before its vote, the FASB staff recommended that the board delay the rule, saying that a hastily issued rule this year may not give regulators enough time to evaluate its effect on capital requirements and that some investors had requested a single effective date.
(Reporting by Emily Chasan, editing by Gerald E. McCormick, Dave Zimmerman
That gasoline inventory report was BS, -3.5M bbls MOM, YOY was in line. I need to quit reading headlines only, especially MSM headlines. Egad. Now I’m thinking it was Nigeria that gave speculators the woody.
Never fear, every DOG has his day in the SUN.
From the SRS Series: “Due Diligence in Seeking Long Term Relationships”: Lesson #1 — “Practicality, Functionlity, Versatility”
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Jake,
Those are hard assests !!!!
http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=808357964&play=1
Fly this is your link….
Jake:
Meredith said we’re still in the middle innings of the credit crunch, at least 20 to 25 major fins need to take large write downs (and intiate another round of capital raises within 2 mos)to match MER, she still believes dividend cuts will be required, all of the capital raises have just plugged holes in balance sheets and will not help going forward – I’ve heard her more pesimistic but she was very matter of fact – the fins still have a lot of work to do – thats my take and I’m sticking to it
Video
http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=808357964&play=1
Anyone else have a take???
Jakey, you have been busy annotating the financial news. I agree, the gbp is overvalued against everything, even the amero. Their Charles I moment is coming soon, decapitation without any metaphorization. Could you get that video, you seem to be good at gathering.
At least you nailed MVIS. How about another 1000 posts on that one? Why do I read this crap?
Suicidal Tendencies
in my gut, i knew the FASB would cave.
but there was a glimmer of hope, deep down, that they would do the right thing and get this party started.
fuck.
Not so fast null. This lying by deception is not going to get the tape north. Only so long as killer Hank and the pet fed rat are there to support.
Those holding the Pound are racing to spend it back over here while the rate is favourable, if that’s any consolation.
http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=808357964
try this link for the whitney i-view
Good thing they started the “do not short” list, JPM has a huge megaphone screaming: “Step right up, put your money down, everyone’s a winner!”
the second to last paragraph is interesting
http://seekingalpha.com/article/30257-jim-cramer-admits-to-stock-manipulation-when-at-hedge-fund
With a name like fucks how could you go wrong on Merrill!!! “Marek Fuchs was a stockbroker for Shearson Lehman Brothers”
I vote Bill Miller asshat of week. He said to early to buy financials today. Excuse me. His mutual fund holds every fuc….ed up financial in this country. Maybe I’m wrong but that just seems dumb.
I want to hear more about our new tabbed blogger, please.
Gapping, where have you been dude, on vacation? I was starting to get used to reading your sarcastic comments every day before the market opened, they were funny and helped me start the day with a good attitude. (OK, yes, I have an attitude problem sometimes, deal with it boyz.)
When “That’s Mathematically Impossible” rolled off Meredeth Whitney’s tongue, I started having bad thoughts. Kinda hot for a chick who called the bank fuckery when everyone else was a acting like bitches. I like how she tossed one to daddy at the end “I was with Jamie Dimon on Friday *wink* and the more he accomplishes, the more humble he gets. These guys are pros. I was with Goldman yesterday.”
Better watch that FXP, the O-Limp-Icks is right around the corner. Then there’s this
Calvin, this was the best (and shortest) version of old King Charles (the Ist) getting “Cromwellized,” a la Lloyd’s Bank this morning. Enjoy the English Beat or whatever th’ fuck New Wave riff they’ve got accompanying here:
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Scum bucket, appropos of nothing… Kid who works for me just got back from two weeks in China. He only spent three days in Beijing, but he said by the second day he had “gray snots” gumming up his nose, and symptoms of incipient bronchitis.
He used to run track in college, and he can’t figure for the life of him how those fuckers are going to be able to breathe on some of the longer distance (ie, 1500 meters +) events.
Should be interesting to watch.
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Jake,
My father-in-law has been to China twice in the last year getting ready for the Olympics (he works in radio broadcasting) and he said the only time the air was clear was after a hard rain. Within hours, though, you couldn’t see further than a couple blocks.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=afbs0rJpGWEA&refer=home
Yamaha can’t sell motorcycles? With $4 gas?! Wtf?
Thanks Jakey, I don’t think English Bob would have approved. Peter O’Toole looks young as Cromwell, huh. The musical credit should go to the Pet Shop Boys, however. Whatever the final judgement, the gbp is doing the vertical dive. I wish it a long journey.
It appears that the douchebags at the Trez and the pet fed rat are out of free ones for now. Naz and the spy down twenty five points. Of course, there is always the Gdp to cook later. As Martay’s fav london broil spot (Bennigan’s) goes up in smoke.. and gm sends twenty percent on an early labor day.. no doubt, the economy is booming.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=newsarchive&sid=acEGIknlsAbs
Mr Practical
08:20:00 AM
Shame
By now you should all know that the FASB “chickened” out in moving the implementation date of FAS 140 and FIN 46R from November 2008 to some later fictional date of expected implementation.
Minyans know these new rules would create better ground rules for banks and dealers in securitizing loans. Specifically it would eliminate special purpose entities that banks used to keep assets like these off their balance sheets. Effectively we would have learned just how much leverage banks really have.
Apparently keeping investors in the dark is better. Shame on FASB.
I only bring this up to illustrate that as this deflationary bust unwinds, there’s no political institution independent enough do what is right and to tell us the truth. Your’re going to have to dig for yourself.
God bless those who trade this market. Only the insiders are banking coin. We will see some insider jail time soon.
FUCK YOU MOTHER MARKET! I will not play. At least until next week. Maybe
Cramer called the bottom for probably at least the fifth time last night. He was giddy.
It’s a mystery why he put his balls on the block ahead of what turned out to be abysmal employment data today. If the market swooshes down early, then reverses on huge volume by mid-day, he might be right. Seems unlikely to me, but people have really wanted to be bullish the past couple of days, so I suppose it’s possible.
Cramer is a reverse chicken little.
Jakegint, Yep, it’s bad. That wouldn’t necessarily prevent the Chinese PTB from initiating a mini rally to save face or something. They own over half the shares already. The other problem is that FXP often does not behave as advertised.
If that air doesn’t clear up they are going to be humiliated. What, did they think they could turn it on and off like a switch? Can everyone spell environmental catastrophuck? They’re doomed.
But King Charles I came back as Ben ‘Obi-Wan’ Kenobi in “Star Wars”, proving the Circle of Life thing still works.
NBS is contractually prohibited from airing any images of Olympic athletes coughing up their lungs. The penalty is they have to send Maria to Beijing for 12 months.
I’ll play. Daytraders should watch SMH to see if it holds up early (first ten minutes or so) and if it does then go long only to dump later. Also, DELL with an upgrade could be worth a trade. Gotta play the gaps at the open. It’s usually a moneymaker but you have to be quick. A Spitzer in and out.
Hope you caught the SMH play at the open. Don’t hang around too long. Watch INTC,TXN,AMAT and if they weaken get out. Don’t second guess.
Fly,
Any word from your peeps?
http://www.marketwatch.com/news/story/romania39s-central-bank-hikes-rates-1025/story.aspx?guid=%7B23A9DB2A%2D219E%2D4FC0%2D97B3%2D2261763605FF%7D&dist=hplatest
A nickel for your zinc. bwahaha!!
Thanks Jakey, I don’t think English Bob would have approved. Peter O’Toole looks young as Cromwell, huh?
I’m pretty sure that was “pre-Dumbledore” Richard Harris, may he RIP.
Pre- “a lot of fifths of Old Balvenie” Richard Harris, too.
Did you see the wacky action on LVS this morning?? WTF?
I dunno who’s worse, the Bearded Rat or these paroled Mafiosa running the big sin bins.
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Jake,
My sis is friends with Damien Harris, RH’s son. She helped him clean out RH’s house in the bahamas after he died. Apparently the locals had been running a boat tour of celebrity homes for years. Upon hearing “This is the house of Richard Harris” over their PA, RH would sometimes walk out and moon the boat. When my sister was with Damien, the boat came by and said “This is the house of the actor RH, who recently died.” Damien walked out and mooned the boat.
I think what Shaun Alexander wanted to say was Go GATORS!!
DSB-
I love the Brits and their cheeky sense of humour.
Nice story, DSB… I always liked him best of the great “problem drinker” British actors.
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