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Early Optimism For Deutsche Bank Fades, After News that the Royal Family of Qatar Might Up Stake

All of Europe needs to be bailed out by their masters in the middled east. Perhaps if Germany takes another 5 million refugees, Qatar will buy all of Deutsche Bank and fire all of their female employees, sending them home to wash dishes and provide their bearded husbands with rigorous foot massages.

Bloomberg is reporting that the Royal Family of Qatar, the largest shareholders of DB, might be interested in sopping up more shares — in the event of a capital raise — up to 25% of the company. What’s interesting about said capital raise discussions is the fact that, just last week, the company said they didn’t need it.

Sheikh Hamad Bin Jassim Bin Jabr Al Thani, former Prime Minister of the Gulf State, and the former Emir of the country, Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al Thani are exploring increasing their current stake of about 10 percent in Germany’s biggest lender, the people said, asking not to be identified as the information is private. No final agreements have been reached.

When this bullshit news was released, DB ran higher by 3%. Now the stock is meandering around the flat line — as the hype and specter of a capital raise drifts into the ether — like human rights in the Kingdom of Qatar.

UPDATE: Rumor denied– QATAR SAID UNLIKELY TO RAISE STAKE IN DEUTSCHE BANK: REUTERS

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Shep Smith Pleads with People to Evacuate: ‘If Too Many of You Perish, They’ll Send Me Down There’

The fear mongering over Hurricane Matthew is indeed unprecedented. While I find nothing wrong with people taking precautions, I do find the verbiage and method by which the media and government officials are communicating with the people to be interesting, to say the least.

Matt Drudge is taking considerable criticism today after posting a series of tweets last night, suggesting the data coming out was exaggerated for political purposes. While this may sound absurd and ridiculous on the surface, Drudge rarely goes out on a limb without already having a scoop or a tip regarding the stuff he’s mentioning. Thus far, the storm has knocked out power lines and causes minor damage, but nothing remotely close to what was fear initially.

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Spoiled Rotten Traders Protest Market After Payrolls Report; Chances of December Fed Hike Increases

If you take a step back and view the market pragmatically, you’d see, for all of the hemming and hawing, markets are exactly flat over the past two weeks and down 1.5% over the past month. During that time, we’ve been entreated to the usual litany of Federal Reserve horseshit — warning of imminent rate hikes. With today’s decent NFP report, traders are, once again, bugging the fuck out over the specter of a Fed hike for the December meeting.

Note the chances of such a hike is now 69%.

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This is having a deleterious effect on commodities and bonds — with crude sinking more than 1.7%. The dollar is marginally lower v the euro — which makes no sense, whatsoever.

Understand something, you are bearing witness to a grande and inelegant demonstration of ignorance and stupidity on a large scale. We’ve seen this retarded show play out for the last two years. By miracle, as sure as I am sitting here, retail sales will come in so horrid during the holiday season it will alter the way the Fed views the economy. As such, the 69% chance of a Fed cut will be reduced to zero.

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SEPTEMBER NON FARM PAYROLLS COME IN LIGHT

156k v a consensus of 172k.

Good news for market lovers out there. For the month of September, people weren’t hired at the pace expected. As such, this is construed to be a shitty jobs number. As such, markets are rallying off the premise that the Fed won’t hike rates.

The initial response was joy. But now an apathetic normality is sweeping across wall, forcing people to view markets nihlistically, not really giving a shit about it. Futures are heading lower again.

 

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Goldman Says Buy the Dip in Gold, Global Growth Fears Remain

Goldman Ballsachs believes any substantial drop in gold is a buy — specifically for the reasons that have been repeated here ad nauseam.

GLOBAL GROWTH IS A MYTH. RECESSION IS COMING, IF NOT ALREADY HERE. THE CENTRAL BANKS CAN’T KEEP PUTTING HUMPTY DUMPTY BACK TOGETHER.

“We would view a gold sell-off substantially below $1,250 as a strategic buying opportunity, given substantial downside risks to global growth remain, and given that the market is likely to remain concerned about the ability of monetary policy to respond to any potential shocks to growth,” Currie and Layton wrote in the Oct. 6 report.

Goldman said it remains broadly neutral on the outlook for bullion through the year-end after the correction. The bank noted that the drop in prices hadn’t been driven by sales of bullion from holdings in exchange-traded funds, which have expanded this week as of Thursday.

“The move lower does not appear to be driven by physical gold ETF liquidation,” the analysts said. “The drivers of strong physical ETF and bar demand for gold during 2016 are likely to remain intact, including continued strong physical demand for gold as a strategic hedge.”

The miners have been poleaxed in recent weeks, my positions included. The reason why you’d want to get long gold into a recession is because the central banks are committed, by any means necessary, to denigrate the integrity of fiat money in an effort to help stave off a banking crisis. While negative rates might seem deleterious to the margins at the banks, having to write down enormous sovereign debts gone bad is far, far worse.

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Deutsche Bank in Talks to Raise Capital a Week After Saying They Didn’t Need It

Didn’t they just say their balance sheet was impenetrable and how they weren’t going to issue a rights offering?

According to Bloomberg, the piece of shit German bag holder bank, lover of worthless Greek debt, is in talks with Wall Street banks to raise the maximum amount without shareholder approval.

Deutsche Bank AG is in informal talks with securities firms to explore options including raising capital should mounting legal bills require it, Bloomberg reported on Thursday.

Senior advisers at top Wall Street firms are speaking to representatives of Deutsche Bank about ideas including a share sale and asset disposals, Bloomberg reported, citing people familiar with the discussions.

The banks are offering to help underwrite a stock sale to raise about 5 billion euros ($5.6 billion), the maximum amount in discounted shares Deutsche Bank can sell without needing shareholder approval, Bloomberg said.

Dax FUTS are down 0.25%.

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BRITISH POUND IN FREEFALL AFTER HOLLANDE SAYS ENGLAND MUST BE PUNISHED FOR BREXIT

Cable dropped as low as 1.18 in the after hours, but has since recovered –somewhat. Still, it’s diving lower by 1.55%, following remarks by Frances’s President, at one of the EU’s stupid fucking dinners.

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Source: FT

Britain must suffer the consequences of leaving the EU in order to save the institution from an existential crisis, François Hollande said on Thursday.

Speaking in Paris at a dinner attended by Jean-Claude Juncker, EU commission president, and Michel Barnier, the EU’s top Brexit negotiator, the French president urged the bloc to lead tough negotiations with the UK to avoid contagion and protect the fundamental principles of the single market.

“The UK has decided to do a Brexit, I believe even a hard Brexit. Well, then we must go all the way through the UK’s willingness to leave the EU. We have to have this firmness,” President Hollande told 150 guests at the 20th anniversary of Notre Europe, the pro-EU think-tank founded by Jacques Delors, the former EU commission chief.

“If not, we would jeopardise the fundamental principles of the EU. Other countries would want to leave the EU to get the supposed advantages without the obligations.”

The Socialist leader insisted: “There must be a threat, there must be a risk, there must be a price. Otherwise we will be in a negotiation that cannot end well.”

Berlin has gradually reached the same conclusion, diplomats say. Angela Merkel, German chancellor, has lately hardened her position, warning European business on Wednesday not to press for “comfortable” deals in the Brexit negotiations that could undermine basic single market principles, such as freedom of movement.

On Thursday evening, a normally more diplomatic Mr Hollande did not mince his words. Europe, he noted, “has always lived with crises. But this time, it’s not another crisis. It is the crisis.”

He recalled the time when Jacques Delors, Mr Hollande’s mentor, had to deal with “a crisis triggered by the UK too” as commission president.

“Then Ms Thatcher wanted to stay in Europe, but she wanted a cheque in return,” the French president said. “Now, the UK wants to leave and pay nothing. It’s not possible.”

Wow. Let the games begin.

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Russia Warns America: No More ‘Mistakes’ in Syria; American Jets Will Be Shot Down

The neocons in the GOP and DNC want world war 3. Hillary Clinton and her advisors have been clamoring for conflict with Russia. Just a few weeks ago, U.S. planes bombed Syrian forces, which then led to retaliation against a UN convoy and eventual collapse of a tenuous peace proposal.

Today, Russia, in no uncertain terms, is warning America that if Syrian forces are attacked by U.S. planes, they will be fired upon and brought down.

The statement comes just days after reports that Moscow had deployed additional S-300 surface-to-air missile batteries to its air base in the Assad-controlled Syrian region of Latakia. Russia is in Syria providing air support to Assad’s forces, as they battle to retake positions to the east.

“Let me remind the [so-called] American ‘strategists’: the Russian military bases in [Latakia] and Tartus are covered by S-400 and S-300 air defense systems, the range of which may come as a surprise to unidentified flying objects.”

The advertised range of the S-400 and S-300 systems are 300 kilometers and 200 kilometers, respectively.

Isn’t this lovely? Did you get a chance to decorate your NUCLEAR BOMB SHELTER for fall?

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BofA: Central Bank Rigging Has Done Nothing in 7 Years, Recession is Coming Inside of 12 Months

Savita Subramanian, Head of Equity and Quantitative strategy at BofA/Merrill, is ‘terrified’ of this market — pointing to inconvenient truths within the staggered economy. She cites Central Bank rigging, which is 7 years in the making, as having minimal effect on economic growth. Her points were salient, logical and unemotional– which kept the jerk to the left of her as quiet as a mouse.

She’s calling for the motherfucking recession inside of 12 month — accompanied by centaurs controlling trading on the NYSE — sending to SPY swimming all the way to 2,000 — or 7% from present levels. Her most hated sector is consumer discretionary, describing it as a denizen for fucking morons, pancaked between margin pressures and deflation. It’s all very doomful, indeed.

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