DOW SKYROCKETS TO ANOTHER RECORD HIGH; NOTHING CAN STOP US NOW

I had a bad day in the market, in spite of the triple digits gains. I got my balls boxed in by $TECK, $UEC and $URG. Essentially, none of my stocks went up; but I was okay with that shocking underperformance, as I kept myself quite busy — chained to the laptop taking in all of the political hand-wringing.

Just 62% of stocks were higher and I, as is my right bound by the blood of my defeated enemies, added to an already over bloated portfolio of Trumpian themed stocks — buying up shares of $CLF.

Effortlessly, I waltz into the middle of a nuclear detonation — dressed to the nines, gin martini in tow, in search for greatness.

Often times the supreme feeling of ecstasy escapes me, maligned by a perfidious doom cast by failed trade, a missed opportunity, or an allocation designed to be burned in hell. I’ve been trading in these god damned markets all of my life — ever since the age of 10. I was both punching people in the face, whilst researching PE ratios by middle school. My fervor and passion for finance has never faltered and still, to this very day, believe that it is my birthright to bestow my god given gifts of financial prowess upon the masses. If unable to do that, I might as well take a year off to write a book about the whole ordeal.

Either way, I find the aspect of risk and investment to be intoxicating, only now betwixt by the ongoings at the White House. There is nothing more important than the outright treason being perpetrated by rogue elements of our intelligence agencies. The humorous treachery in all this is they’re, in fact, trying to accuse Trump of the very thing they’re doing — by cobbling together Russian spy novels into news articles.

They view themselves as ‘permanent government’, whereas the President is merely a guest, someone to be used as a public mouthpiece, or beguile the public to succor their superficial needs. I’ve never heard of such blatant disregard for the executive branch — people calling him a fascist, yet behaving like, err, fascists. The hypocrisy is rich with irony. The stench of corrosion from years of corruption has reached an ebb tide. The people are no longer fooled by this jingoism being disguised as patriotism.

Jesus fucking Christ how cucked can this country get? Listen to me, the CEO of Under Armour made a proper and polite statement about the President of the United States, someone he wished to influence in order to help his company flourish, as opposed to deriding him and getting nothing but anguish out of the relationship.

Here were Kevin Plank’s god awful comments, ‘praising Trump.’

The result? Fucking lunacy. Leftards have boycotted the brand, calling on Stephen Curry to pull out of his very lucrative deal with them (~$4m per annum).

After hearing Plank make comments that didn’t include calling Trump a fascist rapist orange pig, which would’ve been welcomed and regaled by all on the left as appropriate comments from the ‘resistance’, Curry spent a whole day trying to hash out what in the actual fuck was going on at UA, calling Trump an ‘ass’ in the process.

“I spent all day yesterday on the phone,” Curry said, “with countless people at Under Armour, countless people in Kevin Plank’s camp, my team, trying to understand what was going on and where everybody stood on the issue. Based off the release that KP sent out this morning, and what he told me last night, that’s the Under Armour that I know. That’s the brand I know he’s built and one that, as of Wednesday afternoon, is something that I’m standing on.”

Fast forward to today, Sam Poser from Susquehanna is downgrading $UAA now, following the stock already declining by half over the past six months — because MUH ‘praising Trump.’ One of the major set backs for the company, according to Poser, were the prospects of a burgeoning ‘urban brand’ — due to Trump’s unpopularity amongst black people.

Plank’s pro-Trump commentary makes it “nearly impossible to effectively build a cool urban lifestyle brand in the foreseeable future,” Poser said in a report. He also cut his stock-price target to $14 from $24, putting him at the low end of Wall Street peers.

“At this point we don’t believe Under Armour is in danger of losing Steph Curry,” Poser said. “However, it simply cannot be good for business if the face of Under Armour spoke out so pointedly against the CEO’s comments. Other Under Armour brand athletes such as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson and Misty Copeland have also spoken out against Mr. Plank’s comments.”

Poser compared the incident to a gaffe by Lululemon Athletica Inc. in 2013.

In responding to concerns about yoga-pant pilling, founder Chip Wilson said the problem was the bodies of some customers. “Some women’s bodies just actually don’t work,” he said on Bloomberg Television. “It’s about the rubbing through the thighs.”

That incident led to a “strike” by some Lululemon customers, Poser said. And the stock price went from $68 to $46 in a few months.

In other words, Poser is comparing Plank merely suggesting that Trump is an asset to America because of his business acumen, to the retarded CEO of $LULU casting out a large part of his customer base by fat shaming them.

Are you enjoying this new perverted version of America and democracy?

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Sam Poser, was in fact, a disgusting fat man, with the likeness of a middle earth monster.

This is the narrative Trump is likely to pursue. Instead of addressing the Flynn contacts with Russia, he will attack the mode by which they were discovered, trying to winnow out the bad actors. This is likely to result in even more acrimony, more leaks, and a dysfunctionally running government.

Political bias aside, I think it’s fair to say there is a civil war taking place inside the government, with two sides diabolically opposed to one another — working towards destruction, not unity.

We can’t all get our way, now can we Sally? I see she’s from Brooklyn, just like me. The only difference is, I grew up there, pre-gentrification era, when the real estate prices were low and the crime was high.

Why is this libtard and CNN commentator relevant? After examining these people closely, like lab rats, over the past year, I think it’s fair to say she represents a very large portion of the illiberal left — people who’d gladly trade freedom and democracy to placate their emotionally unstable minds.

This is her plan.

Straightforward from here:
1. Impeach Trump & Pence
2. Constitutional crisis
3. Call special election
4. Ryan v Clinton
5. President Clinton

— Sally Kohn (@sallykohn) February 15, 2017

She’s also on record, comically fucking herself into a labyrinth of oxymoronism.

The double I double S issued their report on military capabilities around the world yesterday and declared that China, the one and true threat to American hegemony, is near parity in air dominance. While the lot of you are harangued over Russia’s rusted battleships, the fucking Chinese are hacking away like little dog killers — without a peep out of our ‘intelligence agencies.’ They’re building islands in the middle of the ocean — locking in strategic fisheries and trade routes, all the while the media transfixes itself over MUH RUSSIANS.

Source: RT

“We now judge that in some capability areas, particularly in the air domain, China appears to be reaching near-parity with the West. Also Beijing is now beginning to offer for export some of its modern military systems,” he told the audience.

One particular weapon the institute sees as a possible threat is the PL-10 short-range air-to-air missile, which “only a handful of leading airspace nations are able to develop,” according to Chipman.

Not only does it have superb homing capabilities and poses a threat to Western aircraft in a hypothetical armed conflict with China, Beijing also offers it for export, which would “complicate the operations of any Western air force” anywhere it proliferates, he said.

Another example is a long-range air-to-air missile that was noticed in a photo of a Chinese Su-27 derivative last year. The missile may be a two-stage weapon with a range of 300km, similar in capabilities to the creation of Russian defense producer Novator, known variously as the KS-172, K-100, and AAM-L.

“When it enters service, this new system will hold at risk large high-value targets like tankers and AWACS aircraft, platforms that traditionally would safely loiter outside the range of current air-to-air weapons,” Chipman warned.

He said that China’s continued military modernization and its new willingness to export domestically-designed advanced military systems mark China as “the single most important driver for the US defense deployments.”

“China’s military progress highlights that Western dominance in the field of advanced weapons systems can no longer be taken for granted,” Chipman warned. “An emerging threat for deployed Western forces is that with China looking to sell more abroad, they may confront more advanced military systems in more places, and operated by a broader range of adversaries.”

So how did China go from a country of bicycle riding farmers to a nation able to hit a tanker from 300km away? Well, the answer is simple. Many of you are too young to remember this, so I’ll remind you.

Bill Clinton did it.

No, for real, he really gave them our MIRV missile technology.

Then there was Chinagate.

More reading behind the head of Loral and Clinton.

But you don’t want to read anything. Keep on believing that the China magically attained all of this high tech weaponry on their own.

I feel like I’m eating until an eventual stomach explosion — sheer gluttony on a grotesque scale. Truth be told, I really don’t give a fuck. I drive in a car without brakes, having to crash into things in order to slow it down. So pardon my impertinence as I disclose the fact that I added to my $CLF position to 30% of my assets — upping net exposure to this runaway train to 160%.

Say what you want about last year’s missed opportunities, I nailed the collapse of Jan-March like no one else and had only misjudged the market’s reaction to a Trump win, which I thought would hurt stocks. And no one called the plunge in yields and subsequent rally in bonds like I did.

Well, well, well, here we are now and I’m driving fucking rail spikes through your head — crushing the market with animalistic violence.

In short, I bought more $CLF.

There’s a risk off tinge to today’s flair. Morons beset with underperformance are piling back into REITs and fucking airplane stocks today — selling off perfectly reasonable great commodity stocks — because MUH rotation.

Ugly misfits who sit at home all day eating johnny cakes are selling the nukes, aluminum, zinc and copper stocks, while jimmying their way into department stores. Need I say more?

While it’s true, markets are higher for the day — there’s nothing remotely pleasant about this gypsy tape.

Bulltards are merely exhibiting a bit of lassitude here after an energetic run higher.

Instead of getting downcast by this insipid display of cognitive dissonance, I’ll, invariably, work my way towards expanding my market exposure to 200% from the present 150% — becoming the demiurge of my existence here on this forsaken prison of dirt and people.

More on this later.

Do you remember when these private equity bastards came public? It was in 2007, just before the entire fucking world melted down. Well, here we are, literally a decade later (I can’t believe I’ve been blogging at iBankCoin for a decade) and $FIG is being swallowed whole for a fraction of where it came public in 2007.

Softbank will pay a touch over $3.3b to acquire over $70b in assets. That seems like a good deal to me.

Source: NY Times

“Fortress’s excellent track record speaks for itself, and we look forward to benefiting from its leadership, broad-based expertise and world-class investment platform,” Mr. Son said in a statement late Tuesday. “For SoftBank, this opportunity will immediately help expand our group capabilities, and, alongside our soon-to-be-established SoftBank Vision Fund platform, will accelerate our SoftBank 2.0 transformation strategy of bold, disciplined investment and world class execution to drive sustainable long-term growth.”

I’m thinking other PE firms may get a jump on this news. If private equity has bottomed and smart people like Softbank are interested in making acquisitions in the space, it may be time to gobble up a few on our own.

Here’s my list. Let me know if I missed anyone.

$BX, $CG, $KKR, $IEP, $APO, $LAZ

$FIG will be acquired at a 28% premium to yesterday’s close.

Here we go. They got Flynn and now they’re out for Conway, Miller and then Bannon.

The daughter of the founder of all globalist neocon shills, Mike Brzezinski, said this morning that she’d no longer have Conway on her show because she doesn’t like fake news. Then her cucked partner, Joe Scarborough, chimed in, essentially calling Conway persona non grata — painting her as an ego driven media whore who isn’t in any of the White House meetings and has no idea what’s going on.

Really? What sources inside the White House can confirm this? Joe furthered saying that ‘any reporter’ can ask people inside the White House about Conway’s access to the briefings and they’ll confirm that she’s, basically, cast aside in the dark — left to doing teevee shows, perpetuating fake news stories.

The lazy thinking demonstrated here is astounding. Clearly, this is a smear campaign by the shills at MSNBC, in an effort to deride Conway. I find it next to impossible to believe that a spokeswoman for the White House would be treated in this manner, especially 3 weeks into the administration. The only fake news taking place here, ironically, are from the shills at MSNBC.

I bet they’re secretly happy the UK voted for BREXIT, just so that they could get rid of Nigel — always redpilling them about the horrible failed project called the EU.

Here’s Nigel telling them the EU is a failure, citing a poll that said just 20% of Europeans wants immigration from Muslim countries — making them even harder line that Trump. Lastly, he warned them of hard times to come in 2017 — as Europeans take to the polls and reject their centrally planned government.