You Go, I’ll Wait Here

Today’s trading reminds of my childhood, growing up in Brooklyn. As a youngster, little Fly had many friends who knew no boundaries. Every day, they’d think up new ways to get into trouble. Whether it was lighting a bag of shit on fire, leaving it on someone’s front door, then ringing the home owners bell or simply sneaking into a backyard to steal a sour apple, from a stupid Brooklyn apple tree, young Fly would always decline to participate (remember my IQ was higher than theirs).

My typical response to overzealous activities was “you go, I’ll wait here.”

That’s exactly what I’m saying to my new Wall Street friends today, who are out in the backyard of mystery, picking a sour apple from the tree of [[MER]], [[MS]] or [[WM]]—trying to pick a bottom.

It’s a fairy tale to believe we walk away from the [[BSC]] debacle unscathed. It is foolishness, at its highest level, to fathom the market will bottom here today, because [[JPM]] ripped off 14,000 employees from Bear.

With my money, I will continue to buy gold, via [[DGP]], short commercial real estate, via [[SRS]] and short basic resource stocks, via [[SMN]].

In addition, I will continuously sell short the shares of [[FED]] and [[DSL]], until they hit zero.

Take a look at [[NCC]] today and tell me if you have faith in our financial system.

While it’s true, dumber people than me may temporarily prop the market higher, via erroneous buy orders. However, “The Fly” is here to tell his loyal readers, when your broker calls you up to suggest purchase of stock, declaring “this is the bottom,” just know, it’s a flaming bag of shit he is attempting to leave on your front door.

Don’t you dare step on it.

Next Shoe UPDATE: [[MF]] is being ax murdered. No news, so far.

It doesn’t get worse than Jimmy “Crack” Cayne, when it comes to managing risk, does it? This man, James Cayne, was President and CEO of [[BSC]], since 1993. He is the guy who fucked Bear, plain and simple. When the whole subprime mortgage crisis hit last summer, Jimmy was playing golf—instead of guiding the ship.

As a matter of fact, I think Jimmy was teeing up often, for a very long time, while the internals at the storied investment bank, Bear Stearns, rotted from within.

Think about all the men and women, who worked at BSC or not, that had a large part of their retirement accounts wrapped up in the stock. What happened this weekend, BSC being “bailed out” for 2 bucks, couldn’t have happened without the irresponsible stewardship of Jimmy “Crack” Cayne. No doubt.

Words cannot express how much Jimmy deserves this Asshat Award, so I’ll just shut up and give it to him.

Congrats to Jimmy “Crack” Cayne, Destroyer of the 401k plan—winner of the Asshat of the Week Award.

NOTE: While it’s true, with today’s JPM-BSC “deal,” Jimmy stands to lose about 1 billion dollars, much of that is offset with this here Asshat Award. A lucky and blessed man, indeed. Congrats again.

[[BSC]] going out for 2 bucks per share? Whores from the Bronx go for more.

As a result, ALL banks have to marked down considerably. Monday may be the worst trading day in years. Unless of course, the great bearded one comes swooping down in his gunship.

Developing…

UPDATE: Gold is soaring, more than $23 an ounce.

ROFL UPDATE: The Fed just cut rates. On a fucking Sunday evening, mind you. Nothing screams panic more than a Sunday evening rate cut.

SPECIAL DENNIS KNEALE UPDATE: Bear Sterns [sic] shareholders, fear not of losing money. You only lose money when you sell. If you do not sell, you will not lose money. Plus, what’s the big deal? BSC represents like 0.00000000000009% of the market. Nothing to see here folks. Long optimism!

Fly UPDATE: Fuck a horse, Dennis Kneale.

$2 per share questions: I wonder how the negotiations went? I mean, I’m sure the BSC fuckers thought they’d fetch more than $2 per share. I bet the [[JPM]] players were like: “yo, check this out, son. I’ll give you 2 dolla’s for your company. Take it or leave it.”

Naturally, the BSC nerds were like, “come on guys, we need more. Our wives will leave us, for making a mockery of ourselves. How about where it closed on Friday—$30, please?

As you can imagine, the JPM ballers were like “what the fuck did you say to me, fool? Don’t make me jump over this conference table and cold smack you with the “qwerty” buttons of my blackberry. All we gots for you is 2 dolla’s, in stock that is. No cash.”

In my head, that’s how the JPM-BSC negotiations went.

Time Machine UPDATE: Sift through the iBC commentary of BSC, over the past few months. Quite accurate.

…from a “fucking retarded monkey sell” to a “watch out a nuclear bomb truck is in your garage sell.”

Price target has been reduced from $00.05 to $00.00.

Viz.

UPDATE: It appears the bagholders from [[JPM]] will announce a mercy killing of [[BSC]], for about $20.

Fucking ridiculous.

This will pave the way for sheer panic amongst share prices of other investment banks, notably [[LEH]], [[COWN]] and [[TWPG]].

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYsjeTVikss 450 300]

Never bet against the man with a time machine.

Off to celebrate the death of Bear Sterns [sic].

Quit being bullish, you stupid goat fuckers. Why is everyone so quick to call a bottom?

Please. Bear markets, spearheaded by recessions, last for 2-3 years, minimum.

Right now, I do not want to chase [[SKF]] here. However, I do like [[SMN]] and [[DUG]]. Moreover, my favorite trade, ahead of Fed easing, is to be long gold, via [[DGP]].

I know it seems too obvious to work, but it will. Gold is set to break out to a new trading range, just like oil. Additionally, I want to be long yen here, via [[FXY]]. It is my opinion, the dollar is about to shatter the 1995 lows versus the yen, sending FXY to $105. Keep in mind, Japanese corporate hedges will kick in, at some point—sending the dollar reeling.

Finally, “The Fly’s business is burgeoning right now, I’ll have you know. Over this weekend, I intend on eating large quantities of seafood, while barbarically guzzling multiple bottles of Bordeaux.

Fuck you. There is nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

I bought 5,000 [[DGP]] @ $27.04.

Disclaimer: If you buy DGP because of this post, the Government will deem your land an “ag play” and seize it. And, you may lose money.

A buzzer beater, if you will.

Odd, no?

UPDATE: Why is Dennis Kneale always on CNBC? HE FUCKING SUCKS.

UPDATE II: CNBC is “live blogging” the Bear Sterns call. Pretty cool.

UPDATE III: What ever happened to that midnight hour bidding war, by foreign bankers, for the junk assets of [[BSC]] that Cramer said would happen? Just curious.

Despite the pending insolvency at [[BSC]], the market is having a difficult time deciding what it wants to do next. All day, ag related stocks have been robust, led by [[MON]], [[POT]] and [[MOS]], much to my chagrin.

Also, certain retail names are bucking the downtrend, specifically [[GME]], [[ZUMZ]], [[PSUN]] and [[CRI]].

With regards to the financials, it’s bloody carnage, led by BSC, [[LEH]], [[CMO]], [[FMD]], [[KBW]], [[FIG]] and [[NCC]].

Personally, I like my chances long [[DGP]], [[UDN]], [[DUG]], [[SMN]], [[SRS]] and [[SKF]]. However, keep in mind, as a country, the stock market is all we have. This is it, our greatest export.

If you believe in conspiracies, you know the Government will do everything they can to prevent a total collapse. With that being said, don’t be stupid. Take profits when you can and never press your shorts, when they are already down big.

With my money, stubbornly, I will short more MOS, waiting for the inevitable breakdown.