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Dr. Fly

18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.

Everyone I Know is a Millionaire

It’s a wonderful thing living in a post-modernist society that has figured out a way to skip over economic cycles and just boom all the time. Good habits, such as dropping $10-15k per annum into your retirement plans, has created an ocean of wealth the world has never seen before. The money we invest simply grows and grows and grows — creating millionaires out of blue collared workers and 8 figure mavens out of those wearing white ones.

All of my friends, from cops to electricians to engineers to doctors, are millionaires. They come over to my house and show me their account statements, worrying about how they might survive in retirement from a mere $2 million. Naturally, this isn’t fuck you money and they can’t buy a really nice yacht with that minimum type of fortune, but it’s certainly atypical from a historical point of view and I don’t think people understand how lucky they are to be born into this timeline.

If you’re starting out fresh and trying to make money in stocks — subordinate your trading account to your long term account and you’ll be fine. Worst thing you can possibly do is pretending you’re special with psychic abilities and attempt to trade your way into a yacht. While possible, it’s not probable. Keep a balanced portfolio of boring stocks and see it grow over the next 30 years and you too can be a millionaire complaining about a $2 million fortune to some future version of Le Fly.

Until then, toil on and enjoy the pageantry of the market — the ups and downs — the clowns and the frowns — the evergreen struggle for dominance in a world where the winners have already been selected and everyone else is merely trying to glean some of the crumbs.

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The Trade Wars Will Continue Well Into Next Week

See the market close, +115? You’re right now brimming with confidence — on the balls of your feet, ecstatic by the specter of your own grandeur — having bought the dip successfully and floated into the weekend surrounded by an air of impenetrable success.

The tariffs on China have gone up from 10 to 25% and negotiations have ended and there isn’t a deal; but Mnuchin is optimistic and the President told us the new taxes on Chinese goods coming into America will make us rich. The money will be used to help farmers till the land and to build road and tunnels, maybe even great giant structures at the southern border.

Nothing can go wrong — because nothing is wrong.

Have a great weekend people and make sure to chill the champagne and wait for it to be properly frapped before consuming it.

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Stepped In And Bought Some SAAS — Because Mnuchin is Optimistic

These people aren’t going to let me down. Trump wants the market to go up 200% from present levels and has likely taken some index call options out to profit from it.

I bought ESTC and UPLD about an hour or so ago.

I still have DRIP, SOXS, and LABD, and some NUGT, but that is mostly offset by ZEN, UPLD, ESTC, SPLK and a few other positions in my trading. In my Quant, it’s lit AF — now higher by 0.93% for the day, 100% invested long.

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TRUMP TROTS OUT MNUCHIN TO JAWBONE MARKETS — STOCKS SPRINGBROAD HIGHER

Like clockwork, President Day Trader sent minion #1 of #2 out to suck the markets off and it worked!

Stocks began paring some of their losses after Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said China trade talks were “constructive.” Chinese Vice Premier Liu He also said the talks went “fairly well,” according to reports. The talks are now done for the day.

Talks went from ‘congenial’ to not really mattering all that much to ‘constructive’ — but they’re over now. I do suspect brainless halfwits to make large bets. I, myself, am more position for nothing — heavily cash, but admittedly biased against progress and humanity and kindness. I’d like to see black clouds overhead and storm beating down farmers and large hordes of roaming bees blanketing the country — stinging people in the face and necks.

Stocks are now up and my LABD position is now heading lower. FML.

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FUCK THIS: BOT $LABD

Taking a stand against science here, I bought LABD because this rally is destined to fail for a number of reasons, especially the fact that markets do not bottom on Fridays.

Also, I sold out of OLED for -10%.

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Trump: Trade Talks With China ‘Continue in a Very Congenial Manner’ — ‘NO RUSH’ — Tariffs Are Even Better Than Trade Deal!

According to Trump, we don’t need a trade deal. That’s because he’s not concerned, whatsoever, with the specific companies and individuals who are hurt by the tit for tat taxes being applied here, in many cases RUINOUS, to respective businesses. Taking into account the amount of money coming into the US Treasury, by way of high tariffs on Chinese goods, Trump quite literally believes  this is preferable to a deal.

His words, not mine.

So there you have it. No rush. We don’t need a trade deal, per se, because we’re making so much money off those orangutan Chinese fools.

 

Futures are sharply lower.

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Here’s The Perfect Mother’s Day Gift For Mom

Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Typically you get her some flowers, a box of chocolates, and a hot meal. She’s bored and tired of that shit — why not get her something that’ll make her a better person? Give her the gift of laughter, via Le Fly’s two award winning novellas.

In a Car Made From Dynamite Heading For the Sun:

About a young handsome lad name George who grew up in the sewers of Brooklyn. He tried to escape the bullets and the masked robbers for a life on Wall Street — but things went horribly bad and he was starving half to death with his wife and son in a basement apartment. Then, out of nowhere, the dot com bubble came upon him and it wasn’t long before he practically owned his brokerage firm — walking around the place with his dick out — buying jewels and new suits all the time — having a grande olde fucking time of things and no one could stop him.

Journey Into Fear:

We follow the story of young handsome George and his exploits on Wall Street. He worked real hard and was super rich, and then he lost all of that shit — shattered across the rocks like a damned jackass fool during the dot com crash. Easy come and easy go. Walk with George thru the blow up and 9/11 and many of the other fun times during the early aughts — a period of time that will forever be remembered by fast fortunes made and lost.

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Here’s the Latest on Trump’s Trade War With China

Stocks closed off the lows — but it wasn’t a constructive close. We got fucking REKT yesterday and went lower again today. In no way are we set up wonderfully here for upside surprises. Case in point: NVDA. It has rolled over and steaming lower.

I am long SOXS.

Here are the recent headlines out of Trump’s China trade war.

President Trump says tariffs are an “excellent” alternative to a trade deal with China.

Trump’s remarks came hours before Chinese officials were set to meet U.S. trade negotiators later in Washington.

Asked if he would speak with Chinese President Xi Jinping, Trump says, “Well, he just wrote me a beautiful letter, I just received it, and I’ll probably speak to him by phone.”

China’s top trade negotiator, Liu He, will meet with President Donald Trump’s trade team on Thursday without the title “special envoy” for President Xi Jinping, a role he has held in previous talks.

The demotion suggests the vice premiere may have diminished authority to make concessions that could be key to striking a deal.

Goldman’s take.

1. We continue to believe the tariff rate on the $200bn tranche of tariffs is likely to officially increase to 25% at 12:01 a.m. ET Friday (in about 11 hours). However, we note that this is a slightly softer deadline than previously expected. According to the formal notice increasing the tariff rate to 25%, the increase will apply to goods that both 1) enter the US for consumption on or after 12:01 a.m. ET Friday, and 2) were exported to the US after May 10. In other words, at 12:01 a.m. Friday the tariff rate will technically be 25% but only for goods that leave China after that point. By contrast, in the formal notice implementing the 10% tariff rate last September, the tariff applied to goods that entered the US for consumption after the deadline and there was no similar “in-transit” exclusion (see Exhibit 1).

2. This technical detail might create a limited window for negotiations to continue before the US places Customs duties on imports from China. If the tariff increase technically goes into effect at midnight tonight, the duty collections might not rise for about two weeks, or whenever shipments leaving China on May 10 arrive at US ports. In our view, this means that trade negotiations are more likely to continue over the next couple of weeks than if the potential tariff increase in May was a “hard” deadline.

3. This nuance might also result in slightly less downside to sentiment regarding the US-China trade outlook than if 12:01 a.m. Friday was a “hard” deadline. That said, events over the next week could pose risks in both directions if the tariff increase takes effect on May 10. Even though we expect that talks might continue, the US Trade Representative’s office also looks likely to release a proposal to apply 25% tariffs on the remaining roughly $300bn of imports from China not yet subject to tariff if the May 10 tariff hike takes effect.

That’s the good news. There is some potentially worse news as Phillips explains below, and it involves an escalating tit-for-tat retaliation:

4. China would also likely move forward with retaliatory tariffs. China has already announced it will retaliate if the US follows through with its tariff rate hike to 25%. In September, China had announced tariffs on about $60bn of imports from the US at rates of 5%, 10%, 20% and 25%. However, China ultimately imposed the tariffs at a rate of 5-10%. In our view, Chinese retaliation could take the form of increasing these tariff rates (such as to 25%). In addition, China may reimpose additional tariffs on US autos and auto parts, which it has suspended since December 14.

The latest out of China’s mouthpiece.

My hunch is that nothing gets done until next week, maybe. Markets might start going down on Friday’s again and there’s certainly no reason to buy stocks now. However, Trump is a narcissist and is prone to grandiloquent acts of cowardice, in the face of trying to appeal to the public’s favor. I do believe at some point bears will get trapped, cornered, and killed. So keep those shorts tight and get ready to run back into equities.

Today I bought NUGT, sold DCAR, BEST and TEAM. Cash is ~55%.

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Citron: The ‘Amazon of Africa’ is Worth ZERO

Shares of JMIA are sliding hard now after Citron issued a report this afternoon, declaring the equity in Jamia to be worth zero. They’ve talked a lot of shit in the past, but they don’t often declare stocks to be worthless. This is definitely worth a hard look.

In 18 years of publishing, Citron has never seen such an obvious fraud as Jumia. As the media in the US is naively anointing Jumia the “Amazon of Africa”, the media in its home country of Nigeria has a plethora of articles discussing the widespread fraud in this Nigerian company. Not even that elusive Nigerian prince can cover this one up.

Jumia is the worst abuse of the IPO system since the Chinese RTO fraud boom almost a decade ago. Worse than being “the most expensive” US listed ecommerce company, Jumia reported financials show us a stagnant business that has burned through $1 billion and has moved the suckers game to the US Markets.

In this report, Citron will expose the SMOKING GUN and show why the equity is WORTHLESS. We believe investors cannot rely on reported numbers and a restatement of financials is on the horizon. The SEC must protect US Investors.

Jumia hits the trifecta:

  • This is a fraud and deserves immediate SEC attention
  • This is the most expensive US listed ecommerce company with an unviable business
  • If you’re reading this report, Amazon knows more about ecommerce than you and Naspers knows more about Africa than you. Both companies have either divested or avoided investing regardless of valuation in the Nigerian ecommerce market, which is the growth story behind Jumia

If this is a fraud, then lead underwriters at Morgan Stanley and Citi will be busy in the next few months fending off lawsuits and their investors will need to hold some people accountable for being so naive. The question is, who do you believe, Citron or the investors below.

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