BACK IN 100% LONG

I had harvested some gains earlier today, moving to a 40% cash position, solidifying my place under your Xmas trees and the sole person who has literally purchased presents for your kids this holiday season. Sans my sage advice, you’d be panhandling for Mcdonald’s tier toys right now.

God is good.

I closed out today a man with hair in his chest, but none on his face. All good men shave twice per day and make sure there is never a glimpse of hair on his face. Plans for the day entail fancy restaurant in Raleigh with southern hipsters, then a movie. Over the weekend, I will endure even more shopping and of course my fucking Benz — which plagues me to no end.

I’d like to take this opportunity to say you’re welcome.

Good day.

On Xmas morning when your greedy little kids run down the stairs to see what Satan Claus left from the night before — when you see the joy in their beautiful faces, remember it was Le Fly that made it possible. I am quite literally Santa and I have enabled you to purchase all of said presents this year. Ergo, you owe me a great deal of good will and appreciation.

This is today’s bounty.

CRCM +15.9%
WYNN +4.88%
NFLX +3.24%
JWN +4.8%
ESPR +3.4%
PINS +4.5%
OAS +8.7%
JD +4.4%

I caught a buyout in CRCM. Feel free to alert the SEC and DOJ of my transgressions. Those fucking bastards can suck my doorhandles.

See pal, that’s who I am and they’re nothing. I catch buyouts in less than a week before the pagan holidays, splashing snow and shit into the face of my enemies.

Presently, I am 40% cash, throwing bowling balls at the people down below, smoking an estate pipe and generally pleased with the events of the day.

This is a scientific list. Not up for debate. One cannot negotiate with science. If you provide a list that is contrary to this, you will be sought after and killed.

Best movies of the 2010s (any genre):

2010 – Inception
2011 – Midnight in Paris/Sherlock 2 (tie)
2012 – Django
2013 – 12 yrs Slave
2014 – Interstellar
2015 – Sicario
2016 – La La Land
2017 – Dunkirk
2018 – Deadpool 2
2019 – Joker

Don’t reply. Not a debate.

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) December 20, 2019

UPDATE: I made an error in 2018. It should be Avenger’s Infinity War, without question.

Pro-tip for anyone in the market for a car: never buy the fucker — just lease it and dump it back onto their faces after the term is up.

I made the horrible mistake of buying my car, a GL 450, and have been harangued by it since day 1. Things really started to get dicey after the warrantee expired — which is both funny and incidental.

Upon reaching NC, I brought the car over to the local shoppe and fixed it for $10k. No big deal. I had a cam-shaft issue that needed some fixing — an onerous job but someone had to do it. There was also an issue with the car kicking back on me while decelerating, so I brought it in for a look. They said it was a software issue and would only cost me $155. I gladly paid them their coin and drove the car back home with even more kick-backs then before. The God damned car kicks me in the face like a horse would — upon hitting the brakes or climbing up hill. It is literally one of the worst cars I’ve ever driven, especially under said conditions.

So I brought it back to the dealership for a glance over and they didn’t know what was causing it, so they sought out the expertise of some German engineers. Lo and behold, the transmission is fucked and they’d like to charge me $2,600 for their troubles. Instead of doing that, I simply said “fuck off” and “I would prefer to drive the car into a ravine, then fork over another $2,600 into this pile of shit.”

What this means for me is two fold.

1. My stocks are going to scream higher. Personal issues, whether with the home or car, typically precede dramatic lifts in my stocks.

2. LIFETIME BAN on any Mercedes Benz vehicles at House Fly. I own two cars, both Benzes, and I will be tossing them into the fires very soon.

*** NEED A GREAT GIFT FOR THE HUSBAND OR WIFE — BUY “THE FLY’S” FAMILY FRIENDLY BOOKS ABOUT HIS LIFE DURING THE DOT COM BOOM AND BUST! ***

When I was in my 20s I’d walk in public with jeans, cotton shirts, shorts and even hoodies. Then when I became a man, a true man, I tossed all of my shorts and made sure all of my pants were pressed and my winter garb cashmere or high quality wool. My shirts would be button down and tucked in and on occasion I’d slum it and wear a t-shirt. This evolution in my style faced stiff resistance at home with Mrs. Fly, who preferred that I wore perhaps sports jerseys and maybe some novelty t-shirt — and maybe some ripped jeans. Sorry to disappoint, but I am built from studier stuff.

About a decade ago, and I will remember this like it was yesterday for the balance of my life, my mother in law destroyed my entire collection of cashmere sweaters, by washing and drying them all, very hot, and into a burning dryer. Apparently she believed such a material would resist and be immune to the hostile environs of an oven turning over and over, tumbling even. Over the years much of my wardrobe has been destroyed in the wash, pants that made their way into the machines, sweaters that bled their colors onto said pants etc etc.

A common argument at House Fly is “why do you buy clothes that require dry cleaning?” To that my response is clear, “a gentleman does not wear clothes that are washed in domestic machines. Good day to you.” This always draws her ire and prompts her to remind me that her wardrobe doesn’t require such a service.

“Sounds like a you problem” — and the soliloquy of nonsensical banter goes back and forth until it reaches a heave. It’s never-ending and malignant. Why, just today my only cashmere scarf was tossed into the wash and dried and destroyed. I was told after the fact that “it was a very hard and rough scarf — why do you buy such things?” To that, me being years older and wiser, I simply smiled and declared “it was a dreadful old thing — we should throw it away at once.”

Younger readers of this site might be up in arms right now, reading this travesty, this crime against fine clothing. But what’s done is done and the fastest way towards divorce is engaging one’s spouse in nonsensical debates. A man should never engage a woman in emotional debates — because it serves no purpose. It’s best to placate, ignore even, become scarce, control the mood by removing yourself from the argument. If your loved one prefers to argue with herself, do not get in her way.

As for my cashmere scarf, I now know to keep them out of reach from the cleaning machine and will see to it next time to Anne Frank the fucker far out of reach from the authoritarian regime that patrols this house.

Xmas season is almost gone. Most sane men are losing their minds now with the wives and their gratuitous spending. I’ve always declared Scrooge did nothing wrong. The man has gotten a bad rap all of these years, wantonly supported by people who want your coin by way of selling you their wares. The good man, the honorable Scrooge, only wanted to be industrious and frugal. You cannot be more holier than that. To live in excess and depravity is sinful. It wasn’t Ebenezer’s fault because Tiny Tim’s parents were fucking morons. I looked over my bank receipts yesterday and felt sick to my stomach. Next thing you know it’s February and I’m guilted into expensive Valentine’s Day items. This shit never ends. All I want to do is be industrious, save and invest my money, create an Orbital Space Cannon (OSC). But instead of all that, I buy baubles and trinkets and stock stuffers.

It has been a hard year for the oil patch — but all of that might be coming to an end soon. WTI is above $60 and ’tis the season for crude, seasonally speaking. Judging by historical returns for the sector, owning oil from Jan-April makes all the sense in the world.

Why bother buying outside of those months?

The House has voted to remove Donald John Trump from office, the third President in American history to be maligned in such a way, paving the way for a Senate non-show down which will render this entire fiasco pointless. It’s worth noting, Bill Clinton was impeached on 12/19/98, just 1 day ahead of Mr. Trump.

Nasdaq futures are +10, because no one gives a shit.

Earlier today, Drumpf was tweeting up a storm, nothing new so far.

….won’t convict and remove the President – Then the House should not be Impeaching the President in the first place. If this is the new standard, every President from here on out is impeachable.” Andy McCarthy @FoxNews So well stated. Thank you!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 18, 2019

Is this news? Sadly, it is not. I sense this is one of many humiliation tactics employed by those in charge, malevolent little people with big egos and a mean spirited disposition. With the election just a year away, this entire process is in fact a giant waste of time.

Here is the entire front page of CNBC right now. These are the relevant stories of today. As a stupid trader, how does one benefit from all of this?

As traders, the only thing you need to monitor is the 10yr bond. Nothing more, nothing less.

We’re ticking higher again, north of 1.92%, up 3bps, because MUH the economy is strong and nothing can stop us. But it won’t be long until the whites in everyone’s eyes show and people are shocked into submission, as interest expenses soar, biting hard into operations — causing a panic amidst the leveraged loan community of like minded investors. You need to steel yourselves for this eventuality. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in all this abstract it is humans love a good drama, and often manifest one’s destiny towards it. You might be living high off the hog at one moment, destitute and homeless the next. It’s important to savor the good times and truly marinate yourselves in the oils of success when they are present.

When the SPY is +25% for the year, everyone is an expert. You get fat deli slobs throwing comments around lazily, and with haste — talking about SPY performance and software delays. When the truth is far more easier to comprehend. During periods of excess, men like me are blunt instruments — tools if you will — to improve performance. But you do not need me. I am merely a sounding board. Anyone could’ve made coin in 2019, even retarded chimps. But when the fires burn bright and very hot, I become indispensable, equal to an oxygen mask inside of a vacuum chamber. You will find yourselves lost and without an oar, as the sea swallows you whole and fucks you into the bottom of the ocean. Sea horses will gnaw at your faces and the jellyfish will electroshock your eyeballs until they are good and gone. Then you will see the benefit of befriending a Space Alien Magician (SAM), such as myself. The hubris of man, eventually, will lead to his complete destruction. At said time, I intend to oversee said collapse and profit handsomely from it.

Until then, trade with spirit and keep a calm disposition about yourselves, for these are the days of men, the time and the place when coin had been multiplied many times over — all thanks and praise to the Federal Reserve. Amen.

Back in the 80’s no one, and I mean no one, curbed their dogs. You took the dog out, while smoking a cigarette, and oversaw him/her shitting right on the sidewalk and you’d walk away from it — hoping someone would come and step in it, maybe slip and fall too. You could be talking to someone outside their home and your dog could be shitting on their walkaway or lawn and it was not a big deal. You walked away from it without remorse or feeling like you did something wrong. Stepping in dog shit was part of life back then. As a young boy, I must’ve stepped in shit 100 times. I’d scrape the bottom of my sneakers best I could and then run back home for supper. My grandfather would say “you brought dog-shit into the house?” And I’d reply “maybe so — but where’s supper?” He’d then tell me to “put those shoes outside” and I’d do it and then we’d eat. No big deal. A normal sidewalk in Brooklyn, back in the 80s, was absolutely bombarded by shit. Riding on your bicycle was truly a test of skill, attempting to weave out of the way of all the piles of shit. Believe me, many a tire slipped into it — sending the bike rider headlong into the concrete curb.

There’s a trade in there somewhere.

Stocks are drifting higher. My trading account is doing fine — much better than @NitJain’s or @Diddy’s — because both of them are terrible terrible traders.

BTW: Trump is being impeached today. Good times.

I was 100% long into today, full moon and dick out running in the green fields and free and brave man. However, seeing that some of my equities were sharply higher, I decided to liquidate them and raise a little cash. I only made one purchase today, in the oil sector — because oil is going to run like a god damned jackal in early 2020.

Here is today’s bounty.

PD +4.8%
NOAH +6%
SQM +5.6%
DAN +4.1%
SWKS +3.8%

See pal, that’s who I am. I do not promise any of my members of Exodus to learn how to trade. That would be like going to a brain surgeon with a malady and asking him to not operate, but instead teach you how to operate to remove the problem. This is stupid and a waste of time. While in my company, you will receive the most export and pristine financial advice known to mankind. Some might argue they’re better than me, but they’d be lying — believe me.