iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,227 Blog Posts

If You Buy Now — You Will Die Tomorrow

Jesus Christ. I leave the blog for a short while and an absolutely drooling idiot took over in the comments section writing illegible things.

Look pal, you’re banned. As a matter of fact, you’re entire family is banned. I zeroed in on your IP address, found your apartment tenement, and banned your whole housing project. I even banned the owner of the bodega down the block, just in case the owner is your uncle, or some shit. In order for you to post on iBC, you’ll need to take a subway out of the ghetto at least 5 miles away. Your entire hood got banned, tossed idly into cold prison cells, because none of you have anything interesting to say. Not a single thing.

As for the market, it still sucks. None of you have proved me wrong. True, I took some hammers and blades to the head in these fucking inverse ETFs, but I made a little back in OSTK. Net, net, I was up today — so eat that you flaming faggots.

My quant account stunted again, poleaxing the SPY by 30bps. I’ll have you know, this is the absolute worst time to buy stocks — on a big up day that is encumbered by rancid breadth. Go ahead, I dare you to do it.

If it weren’t for boring ass utilities, most stocks would be down today.

Bottom line: go fuck yourselves and go away…it’s almost May.

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41 comments

  1. infinitezuul

    AMZN results just pushed NQ up another 1% after hours.

    This May will be like all Mays, up pretty good amount with zero down days.

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  2. Dr. Fly

    INTC-AMZN-MSFT crushed

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    • Lyndon Keltner

      The buying in treasury futs beginning yesterday and the /NQ pop yesterday afternoon set the stage for their further moves higher today.

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  3. Lyndon Keltner

    Rich The Kid is good. We already know he’s going to take over.

    Kendrick doesn’t just work with anybody coming out of Atlanta. Real recognize real.

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  4. it is showtime

    h a h a
    p.o.s.
    banker staff

    Deutsche Bank Fires 400 US Bankers

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  5. og

    Swole Bezos was a sign.

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  6. bambaclot

    This is the ranking performance of this site over the last year. The chart speaks for itself
    https://traffic.alexa.com/graph?o=lt&y=t&b=ffffff&n=666666&f=999999&p=4e8cff&r=1y&t=2&z=30&c=1&h=150&w=340&u=ibankcoin.com

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    • bambaclot

      I wish there were a way to short Flyfag

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    • Dr. Fly

      You don’t know how digital media works. I create my own traffic. More posts = more traffic = high Alexa.

      Our Alexa peaked at 5,000 last year, then I stopped political blogging. If I went back to political blogging, then the ranking would improve.

      No interest.

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  7. wolfdaddy

    Is it possible Bill Cosby actually raped the ugliest woman walking the planet?

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  8. numbersgame

    AMZN really wants you to let them have 24-7 observance of your house, indoors and out.
    https://techcrunch.com/2018/04/26/amazon-is-now-selling-home-security-services-including-installations-and-no-monthly-fees/

    Don’t be worried, AMZN surely has completeltly altruistic purposes. In fact, your happiness is so important to them, that “If you already own a smart home hub, your smart home expert will adjust your package.” Gives a new meaning (or perhaps a very old one) to the phrase “customer service”.

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    • Lyndon Keltner

      Is Alexa the one who will adjust people’s packages? She sounds a little too vanilla.

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  9. Lyndon Keltner

    So while the mob boss‘s lawyer is taking the 5th, the mob boss himself wants to make thie Justice Department his own law firm.

    Or, as some would like to put it, he’s just being anti-establishment.

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    • numbersgame

      More 3D chess moves:
      1a) Trump (on Fox and Friend’s today) both say that Cohen only handles a “a tiny, tiny little fraction” of his business
      1b) “prosecutors argued, the material seized from Cohen is unlikely to contain many privileged documents, in contrast to the initial claims by Cohen’s lawyers that they likely contained ‘thousands, if not millions’ of such materials”

      2a) “He represents me with this crazy Stormy Daniels deal,” Trump said on F&F
      2b) “I think the president should appear on ‘Fox and Friends’ every morning,” (Stormy Daniel’s attorney) Avenatti said.
      2c) (forthcoming) Judge declares that Cohen *was* representing Trump so the NDA is invalid witohut Trump’s signature

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  10. og

    Fucking Bezos raising cost of Prime.

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  11. fryguy15

    I’d like to start a petition to un-ban Sarc. Sure, some of the shit he says is a bit aggressive. Still, what is this, The Soviet fucking Union? We’re all adults here and can filter through the bullshit ourselves.

    Let’s see those votes. Up for life and down for death.

    PS, I’m totally ok with banning the other jamoke. That was just obnoxious

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  12. ironbird

    Somewhat interesting feels for first amendment or some shit going on in the hallowed halls. Sarc got old with that bit. The everything is fake mocking of shitlibs went off the rails as well.

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  13. jonnybegood2

    Sac is a POS racist but I’d still vote to un-ban him.

    Fingers crossed on Exxon getting out of its own way and finally killing a quarter tomorrow a.m. Sold half my holdings above 81 with the sick move final minutes and after hours. Letting the rest ride. Huge buying before earnings; hopefully a great sign as was their upping their divy 7 c. Can’t imagine how they could fuck things up with what oil has done last quarter, but they have gotten quite good a fucking up lately.

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  14. Dr. Fly

    Your votes are meaningless. This is not a democracy. This is an oppressive dictatorship — aka the best form of government.

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    • Lyndon Keltner

      The 3rd, 4th, and 5th Amendments cover property rights quite well. But dictatorships sometimes work just fine.

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    • numbersgame

      I was never in favor of banning sarc, but the discussions got old and repetative. I eventually got him to admit that not all Jews are bad, but in the end that really didn’t change his posts.

      However, I do vote that we change ibankcoin to a democracy.

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      • heckler

        Look he was never mean to me but my hunch is he was a huge SAC of shit. I thought he was turning a corner… but he couldn’t ever stop with the Jew stuff.

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      • jonnybegood2

        sac claimed to only hate zionists but he clearly hated jews.

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      • Lyndon Keltner

        I managed to conduct some meaningful dialogues with him recently. He is capable of having logical thoughts and accepting (some) objective facts.

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      • acehood

        Hasn’t Putin taught you anything? Democracy is overrated.

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        • Lyndon Keltner

          Or just look at our democracy, their “democracy” notwithstanding.

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    • bambaclot

      IBC turned into the fucking Huffpo

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    • fryguy15

      The Fly has spoken. You’re out motherfucker

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  15. uglyflint

    The natives must rise up against Kim Jung Fly. Release the Sarc.

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