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Monthly Archives: December 2017

Rich People Are Humans Too

What’s all the fuss about over god damned tax cuts? Would you prefer that we have high as shit corporate tax rates, because…?

Well, because why you stupid shits?

Sure, government needs money so they can waste more of it. But what if we gave them less and instead placed said money into the hands of those EVIL FUCKING rich people, who are actually pretty good at managing money; what if we did that instead? Perhaps the economy could grow at 4% and perhaps there will be more jobs for the blue collared people strewn out across these great lands.

“There is but one season of the year when salmon should be served hot at a choice repast; that is in the spring and early summer, and even then it is too satisfying, nut sufficiently delicate. The man who gives salmon during the winter, I care not what sauce he serves with it, does an injury to himself and his guests.” — Ward McCallister

It would make sense that the tax cuts would help those who actually pay the taxes right? So this isn’t exactly shocking revelations. When the Trumpinator stole the election from Hillary, he never promised to help coal miners with grand tax cuts; that’d be retarded — even by his own standards. He promised MOAR jobs — because Mexico and China had been stealing them. While the latter hasn’t been remedied and the great big southern border wall will never be built, the least we can do is make rich people so god damned fucking rich, well, they’ll start new companies just for the hell of it — employing more coal miners to mind their wares across the nation.

Rich people are just fine, except when said wealth is intermingled with power. It’s the holiday season; hug a rich person and quit being so god damned evil.

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ABC Retracts Market Moving Flynn Report; May They Forever Burn in Hell

I hate fake news. I know my haters will rub in my UVXY trade come Monday, but you must grant me a small bit of pity — for I am a victim of a most horrendous dose of FAKE NEWS.

Those motherfuckers from ABC need to refund me for any losses that come my way next week.

Nevertheless, I do not believe any of this so called retraction. There’s no way Flynn just pleaded guilty to lying without giving up anyone else.

The response on Twitter has been apeshit with a side order to horseshit. Lots of shit flying these days.

FUCKING CHUCK WOOLERY

In case you’re wondering about Nixon’s impeachment and how it affected markets.

My sense.

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A Day of Reckoning For Perma Bulls is Just Around the Bend

I had to run some errands today, look into some office space, and saw markets made a late day rally — which prompted some of you indecorous types to respond glibly, boastful, filled with hubris. Remember, pride always comes before the fall. If you’re not careful and humble yourself, you might very well find yourselves in the midst of a ‘fag box‘ — trapped in outer-fucking-space.

The fact that Trump is gonna swing from the gibbet and markets rallied 200+ points off the morning lows is somewhat ridiculous, when taking into consideration how stupid the lot of you are. I am, unequivocally, long a handsome amount of UVXY, with a basis around $15.50. I am short BAC, NVDA and long RUSS — because Russia is going to burn. On the long end, I own UCTT, WLK, GCAP, HMNY, FIZZ and AQ. It was a poor week for momentum related names — but a fine week if you were chasing alpha.

Over in my quant portfolio, I gained 1.93%, which was about 30bps better than the SPY. I am able to do this because I position my portfolio where the money is flowing, each and every week. First, I analyze by market caps. After choosing the quintile that performed best, I apply my fundamental screen to it — and then finally choose 2 stocks per 8 sectors based on their ‘hybrid score’ generated by Exodus. The hybrid score is a combination of fundamentals and technicals. This ensures that I am buying the very best stocks, both fundamentally and technically, in the market.

And voila…I fucking manhandle and crush markets each and every week and don’t even have to break a sweat to do so.

All that said, I am prepared to preside over you, atop a hideous mountain of flaming skulls — ushering in the new apocalypse, which shall first drain the blood of the wicked and the weak.

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FLYNN TO TESTIFY AGAINST TRUMP; MARKETS CASCADE LOWER ON HEAVY VOLUME

A wave of sellers smashed through the market over the past few minutes on news that Gen. Flynn will testify against President Trump, claiming that the President ordered him to speak to the Russians. Whether this is a big deal or not is somewhat immaterial. The fact that they lied about it is what’s important. While we do not know the extent of the damage this will do to the President, it is a woeful development — one that could lead to the resignation or impeachment of Trump.

For months, I’ve been hearing from DC circles that by December Trump would be out. Coincidentally, on 12/1/17, this news hits. I am of the belief those in the know were aware of this testimony, which is why Trump’s agenda has been placed on hold.

For markets, this is ruinous, as it adds a great amount of uncertainty. I do not expect Trumpsters to take this lying down and this might very well spark mass protests on both sides of the aisle.

The Dow is off by more than 200, Nasdaq -100.

For me, this changes everything about the market. As such, I sold out of VERI and VUZI, two of my more volatile names and bought more UVXY. This is a quadruple down on my VIX trade, one fully endorsed by The Devil, who said to me yesterday he thought UVXY could hit $120. That is not a typo. We discussed this in Exodus yesterday.

It’s over Trumptards. The day of the rope beckons and the end game is near. Deep statefags win again.

Unrelated: I made changes in my quant account, which is in the $1-5b quintile.

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So About the Bitcoin…

What a lovely, lovely day. Markets are somewhat tepid, but bitcoins are exploding with joy all over the market. As I write this, BTC is +666 or 6.66% for the session, a rather evil and devilish move if I don’t say so myself. For those of you, like me, who do not want to open a fucking crypto wallet, there are manners by which you could profit from this craze. Because whether you believe in it or not, it’s happening. Right? So, as the popularity increases, companies who profit from the proliferation are a most interesting endeavor.

I am talking about GCAP, of course. This is a real company, doing $80-$100 million per quarter in revenues — trading services. They are going to start offering their services in cryptos. Any fucking idea how big that could be?

Pretty big.

Other crypto related equities moving higher include: MARA, DPW, XNET, RIOT, PRELF, GROW and SRAX.

Shares of OSTK continue lower, however.

Busy day for yours truly. I will be executing my quant trades soon, which once again beat the SPY — coming in at +1.98% for the week.

Stay tuned.

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Morning Poppers (Government Shutdowns Are Good Edition)

Trump’s tax bill is dead, or at least on ice, as the perverts in Congress find other things to do other than run the government. How’s that gigantic an beautiful southern border wall coming along? With the tax bill all but dead and Trump fucking with Schumer and Pelosi on twitter, a government shutdown is all but a foregone conclusion. Apparently, he told aids that a shutdown would help him in the polls, or something to that effect.

The Germans seem to be quite sad that Americans aren’t getting tax cuts, seeing that their markets are off by 1%. Here in the great United Steaks, Dow futures -66, Nasdaq -37.

Dare I say, today is a fine day for VIX players?

WTI is higher by 0.7% and Bitcoin just broke $10,000 again. Congrats to all of you crypto-ballers out there. Oh, also, the yield curve is now just 60bps.

Here’s some other news that might tickle your fancy.

Cummins downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Goldman
L Brands target raised to $64 at Telsey Advisory Group post Nov comps
Allegiant Travel target raised to $158 at Cowen following FY18 guidance
Regeneron Pharma downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Citigroup; tgt lowered to $380 from $480
Stifel Financial upgraded to Outperform from Market Perform at Wells Fargo
Tiffany & Co upgraded to Overweight from Sector Weight at KeyBanc Capital Mkts

Oh shit, IU love Bitcoin now.

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