iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,863 Blog Posts

Greetings from the Road: The Market is Getting Smoked Out and Mud Stomped

What a pleasant occasion. Here I am sashaying (no homo) up the northeast corridor of the United States, amidst turmoil and tumult, and markets are collapsing. It’s like God is really looking out for me — offering me presents for being so good this year. I expect to arrive in Massachusetts soon, at which point I will parlay in Salem, MA to purchase large quantities of macrons and orange jam this delightful little French bakery in the city.

Markets are getting punched out — and for good reason. We’re gonna have another Korean War!

The NASDAQ is down 100, led lower by FAANG stocks, which are down 2.1%.

Gold and bonds are the only refuge. Presently, I have 10% of my assets in GLD/TLT and another 20% in cash. You can see why I am eager for lower prices.

Retail is literally blowing up, with larger than life losses in DDS, M and SHLD. When they die, you’ll miss them and rue the day Amazon.com was born.

On the plus side is the VIX, heavily fagged out for a long time, now rejuvenated and acting alpha.

Up 30% for the day, so far.

Both TVIX and UVXY are supposed to give investors 3x VIX, but because they’re retarded products, they’re producing less than 1x.

From the semis to solar back to your local apparel shop, everything gets blown out and stomped during nuclear war. Do not bargain with The Devil, you might not like the results.

While we wait for the war mongering pigs to foment strife and ritualistic carnage in Asia, you should be waiting for an Exodus OS signal.

As we speak, the system is oversold on its 3,6 and 12 month signals. We only wait for the 36 month to trigger, before we take action. For those deeply concerned, our track record is one of flawless victory over the past 12 months. As a point in fact, our data suggests that you should go long here, hold for 10 days, and then collect the proceeds to do as you please.

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16 comments

  1. tonka

    $UVXY is ~90% in the September future, which is up ~9% right now.

    $UVXY is supposed to give 2x, so being up 18% is right where it should be.

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  2. joyous__ending

    >We only wait for the 36 month to trigger, before we take action. For those deeply concerned, our track record is one of flawless victory

    This is it! The next four months is gut check time, lot of money to be made buying dips, selling rips. Be bold and you will have a Merry Christmas!

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  3. bintercorp

    Fun times. 36mo OS and the destruction of North Korea await. This is what Alex Jones might call a “360-win”. Enjoy your vacation before nuclear winter.

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    • ferd

      “..nuclear winter.”

      Global warming: Solved
      Is there anything the Orange God cannot fix?

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  4. uglyflint

    Tune in to CNN for tips on surviving when a neutron missle hits in your backyard.

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  5. dmfracer

    Still a bull market – are we headed toward recession -no, are we going to get bombed by the NorKs – no, could the sell off continue, maybe, but look at it as a buying opportunity. I’m a buyer down here

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    • wolfdaddy

      This sell off on news is all bs. August usually sucks and we desperately need a healthy pullback. The next oversold signal will print money imo

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      • ferd

        Trump’s threat followed by N Korea’s response ‘that they’ll launch tests toward Guam in the next couple weeks’. Means that there is a huge risk that is not yet price in IMO. The market is now in Kim’s hands, if he follows through with those tests, markets get hammered hard as it looks for Trump’s response.

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  6. roundwego

    Aug crash in play.

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  7. bushwacker2

    We now have the reason to sell: you’re going to lose your ass in the market.

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  8. acehood

    NVDA loses even when it wins?

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  9. J Adabese (your pen pal)
    J Adabese (your pen pal)

    Bring back the stock campaigns of LeFly. You were good at your job man.

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  10. J Adabese (your pen pal)
    J Adabese (your pen pal)

    Buy $SN Senior Sanchez

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  11. 99 lead balloons
    99 lead balloons

    how is vegging it on the road? i always ask for extra veggies at subway.

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  12. moosh

    Le Fly has probably been busy getting his ride a super welded pilot, to take care of all of the poser riff raff vegans in the way. Brakes…yeah right bro

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