China Has a WTF Amount of Underpeforming Bank Debt

I can’t fucking wait for this shit to blow up. It’s gonna make our housing crisis look like a rainy Halloween night when all the kids had to stay home and watch Charlie Brown, instead of trick or treating.

God willing, I will see to it to become a local warlord and seize my local water reservoir, holding power and influence over my area, setting up checkpoints to ensure no one enters or leaves without donating dry foods to my cause.

Chinese banks’ troubled loans swelled to almost 4 trillion yuan ($628 billion) by the end of September, more than the gross domestic product of Sweden, according to figures released by the industry regulator.

Banks’ profit growth slumped to 2 percent in the first nine months from 13 percent a year earlier, according to data released on Thursday night by the China Banking Regulatory Commission.

The numbers come as a debt crisis at China Shanshui Cement Group Ltd. prompts lenders including China Construction Bank Corp. and China Merchants Bank Co. to demand immediate repayments and as weakness in October credit growth shows the risk of a deeper economic slowdown.

While the official data shows non-performing loans at 1.59 percent of outstanding credit, or 1.2 trillion yuan, that rises to 5.4 percent, or 3.99 trillion yuan, if “special mention” loans, where repayment is at risk, are also included.

Knowing how the Chinese accounting works, they probably have a trillion in bad loans, emanating from all of those fucking ghost cities that they were building a few years ago.

Dr. Copper has been screaming out in agony that something is horribly wrong in China. Now we’re starting to get a glimpse of what it might be.

You know damned well it’s part of the human culture to go out for drinks, hoping it might lead to an after hours session of the intimate nature.

Having said that, I am not so sure about ‘spiking’ my best friends drink when she isn’t looking. That sounds sort of date rapish, no?

The ad, which was released in Bloomingdale’s 2015 holiday catalog and was meant to advertise Rebecca Minkoff merchandise, features a woman looking away and laughing as a young man looks at her suggestively. The text reads: “Spike your best friend’s eggnog when they’re not looking.”

The luxury department store owned by Macy’s Inc apologized for the ‘inappropriate’ eggnog advertisement on Tuesday.

“In reflection of recent feedback, the copy we used in our recent catalog was inappropriate and in poor taste,” a spokesperson said in a statement. “Bloomingdale’s sincerely apologizes for this error in judgment.”

I’m pretty sure the homo-hammers at Bloomingdale’s outsourced this ad to some fucktard ad agency, who wanted to be ‘cool’, ‘edgy’ and ‘hip.’ The problem with ad guys is they’re inherently creepy dorks, sliming about the office lurking for trends and trying to be cool. They bend to the caprices of a millennial generation who is totally devoid of human decency. As a result, they craft million dollar ads promoting date rape.

Message to Bloomingdale’s: quit trying to promote forced coercive sex and get back to being good merchants of overpriced textiles.

It’s rather befitting to see the market appreciably lower on this fine day, the 8th birthday of iBankCoin.

Stocks smashed lower because the Federal Reserve is hell bent on destroying the capital structure of CHK, which fell by another 3% for the day. I invite all of you to join the ranks of Exodus to get an edge in this sordid affair.

My largest position, COST, faired well. Nothing is able to stop the Costco juggernaught. I do not pretend to have massive upside in it. I am merely content with not fucking destroying myself in it.

Nothing is working. Everything is shit. The world is a wretched placed, filled with goons and goblins. War, pestilence and famine are right around the corner.

Now if the market trades up tomorrow, my animal spirits might cause me to get real bullish again. But, just know, right now I am seeing things clearly and truly for what they are. The scenario that I am going to paint for you is likely to play out, once the Fed begins raising rates.

We will parallel the great fuckery of 2007, when the Fed purposely induced a housing slowdown, which caused the crisis we all know as “The Great Recession.” The amount of oil and gas debt is in the hundreds of billions. Since 2009, Wall Street has been sucking the dicks of big oil, shilling for them, issuing fuckloads of products, financing oil fields in Bumfuck, USA.

All of the chickens are coming home to roost, rest assured.

Credit is going to seize up and the dollar is going to the your albatross, gaining by leaps and bounds, pushing crude to the point of desperation. Bankruptcies, largess, will press stocks lower to levels not seen since 2011.

Forget about 2016. We might mark time here until year end. But if the Fed gets there way, we dive lower by 30% in 2016, led by catastrophic declines in most commodity related stocks.

The headquarter of the deflationary vortex can be found at Amazon. It’s only a matter of time before they assimilate all products and services into their manifest. They’re now taking aim at food delivery. Why? Well, because Jeff Bezos felt like doing it.

In September, Amazon debuted the service in Seattle and many speculated that the service was just an experiment. More recently the service has been available in Portland and just yesterday L.A. was added to the roster. The company is now planning to add restaurant delivery to everywhere Prime Now—its same day ordering platform which delivers direct from local vendors– is available.

So how does it work?

Prime Now has an annual $99 fee. It’s currently available in several major U.S. cities including Atlanta, Austin, Baltimore, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, New York, Miami, Minneapolis & St. Paul, Phoenix, San Antonio, and the San Francisco Bay Area. The service boasts a free two-hour delivery window but if a customer needs something in one hour a $7.99 delivery fee applies.

Will Amazon make money on this new venture?

Don’t be ridiculous. Bezos takes the Commodore Vanderbilt approach to capitalism. He competes to destroy his competitors. When they’re all washed away, Jeff will likely turn on the money faucet and turn Amazon into the world’s largest company.

I’ve had my reservations with Herb’s red flags, dating back to the days when I was long HANS, now called MNST. I hated when he’d appear out from the woodworks and talk shit about my position on CNBC. Obviously, I didn’t want to lose money due to some guy on the teevee casting aspersions at my positions.

But over the years, I’ve grown to accept and even respect his work, especially when it comes to China.

On a CNBC interview today, when asked about BABA, Greenberg posited “what are the numbers?” He went on to say his partner analyzed the numbers and his head felt like exploding, when looking at the sheer scale of fuckery taking place at Jack Ma’s playhouse.

On a day when just about each and everyone of these Fed fuckers are making speeches, talking out raising rates and how inflation is just around the bend, the IMF issued a report, reminding the Fed of their own mandate.

“The Federal Open Market Committee’s (FOMC) decision should
remain data-dependent, with the first increase in the federal funds rate waiting until continued strength in the labor market is accompanied by firm signs of inflation rising steadily toward the Federal Reserve’s 2 percent medium-term inflation objective,” said the note, which does not necessarily reflect the views of the Fund’s executive board.
A Reuters poll published on Tuesday showed a 70 percent chance the U.S. central bank would raise its short-term lending rate at its Dec. 15-16 meeting, after a stronger-than-expected jobs report last week.

In a speech today, Fed’s Bullard warned the Fed of being in a ‘permazero” rate environment and this fucker even said he ‘yearned’ for times when the Fed actually had a job to do, pulling levers. It sounds to me these old hags are bored, nothing to do, feeling useless, so they’re trying to restore themselves back to their former glory.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize America’s monetary policy was there for you to amuse yourself with, fill the void of a mid-life crisis.

The Fed is afraid of becoming Japan. Well, it’s too late. We are Japan. We’re not Japan because rates are zirp. We’re Japan because we absorbed the banks’ losses in 2008 and now have $20 trill in debt. It’s pretty hard to grow fast when you have that much debt.

I’m doing alright today. Stocks are getting fucking hammered into puzzle pieces. We’re at session lows right now; but I am okay, fully accepting with a ‘calm normality’ that the reason why Fed’s Dudely is asking for a series of rate hikes, after the obiovus December one, is because he’s a villain, wholly consumed with destroying the world.

Janet Yellen took over a Bernanke Fed with one job: don’t fuck it up. Since then, she’s done everything in her power to mess things up. Now the world is in a very hard spot. I get the fact the economies ebb and flow and we’re overdue a little ebbing now and then. But what I don’t get, for the life of me, is why the Fed feels it’s incumbent upon them to accelerate the drop by causing a stock market rout.

After thinking it over, fireside over a glass of brandy, I’ve concluded there could be just one reason.

The villainous Federal Reserve wants to bankrupt CHK and their stupid peers.

They are going to clear the market of weak balance sheets, exact a reset, cause financial anarchy, then try to pick up the puzzle pieces later and create a new economy.

You’d be wise to sell all of your weak balance sheet stocks now. The pain is here and it’s not leaving until CHK is dead.

Unlike previous birthdays, I’m not going to wax poetical over the past, bring back old bloggers from the dead, and reminisce over yesteryear’s glory. I’m very excited with the new iBankCoin and the direction the site is headed. For years I treated the site as a littering ground for my frustrations, thrusting them upon you, the reader; and, as a result, I greatly limited my ability to inform and communicate with an otherwise inferior set of intellects.

Thankfully, I’ve decided to embark on a new journey with iBankCoin, one focused on content, finance news with an interesting twist, as well as continued excellence in stock market commentary, wrought with scandal and ripe for picking. During the year we were able to launch Exodus, our market intelligence platform that is 2nd to none in the Fintech industry, one that defecates on all of the combined products of my competitors, then lights their skeletal remains on fire.

Over the past year, we’ve built a solid infrastructure, brought in some new people. We established an iBankCoin customer services department with a live 24 hr per day hotline, manned by a real person who doesn’t live in India. I pay him to just sit there and watch televsion, awaiting your calls. I have tons of new tools and ideas that will go into Exodus, all free upgrades. But most importantly, we brought back the Peanut Gallery, aka iBankCoin’s Blogger Network. I’m really excited about bringing new talent into our fold. I intend to expand the program from the current 6 bloggers to 30 within 6 months.

As you know, we just executed another website redesign, one that brings us in line with current trends, focused on mobile. Over the past month, traffic is up 50%, thanks to the new approach and design.

What to look forward to in the future?

I’m gonna continue to rain fire on all of the catamites out there, pretending to be stock market gurus. I have a brand new arsenal of weapons and I intend to use them, up until the time when I finally complete my Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) and use it to destroy whole continents in one fell swoop.

I’ve had lots of bloggers and stock pickers come through these halls throughout the years. We’ve never, ever, had better content and talent than we have now. I really mean that. The team that I’ve assembled at iBC is second to none and anyone who’s attended our investors conferences knows that to be true.

Thank you for reading and supporting the site, as its grown from nothing to the dark, insidious force it is today. Thank you for all of the people who contribute in the comments section, keeping the energy levels high. Thank you to all previous and current bloggers, giving me your passion for stocks and love for the written word. And, lastly, thank you to the fucked faces who keep this stock market ponzi-fuckhead scheme going. You’ve given me endless nights of horror and countless days of wanton enjoyment, watching humans behave very badly.

Happy 8th birthday to iBankCoin!

NOTE: I just opened a Facebook account for iBC like last month. Words cannot express how stupid I am for ignoring the world’s largest social media site. Please like it, share the content with your moron friends, and help spread our brand of propaganda.

Back in 2007, this was our introductory video, made by Danny, unveiling the new site.

Only in China. Can you imagine all of the fun a chinese version of Fred Wilson is having right now?

We conservatively estimate an average gain of ~300% after listing,” Wang wrote. “Although some companies will directly set the offering price, the pricing process is still expected to be subject to some potential restrictions such as the P/E ratio.”
Under the new IPO system, companies that sell less than 20 million new shares will be allowed to “directly” determine the offering price. That suggests IPO valuations above 23 times earnings may be allowed, though authorities still haven’t provided clarity on this point, Wang wrote.
The new rules will also abolish a requirement that investors make an advance payment when bidding for shares, which should ease the liquidity drain when new deals are priced.

Invest in Chinese IPOs; get 300% gains.

End story.

This is just about the most ridiculous thing Bill Ackman has ever done, since trying to beat Dan Loeb in a bike race in Montauk, LI.

“I have a problem with Berkshire’s ownership of Coke,” Ackman told an audience of about 200 people. “Coca-Cola has probably done more to create obesity, diabetes on a global basis than any other company in the world.”

“I’m never one for avoiding controversy,” Ackman told the attendees, which didn’t include Buffett or Munger. “What is Coca Cola’s business model? Coca-Cola’s business model is to displace the water that children and adults consume with sugar water.”

Ackman went too far in his critique of the company, which also sells bottled water, milk and fruit juice, Kent Landers, a spokesman for Atlanta-based Coca-Cola, said in an e-mail. “These comments are irresponsible and do not recognize the current breadth of our business,” he wrote.

“You have some of the best marketing in the world and a lot of happy skinny people drinking it in the advertising,” Ackman said. “Unlike the tobacco companies, there’s no disclaimer on the Coke saying ‘replacing the water in your diet with Coca-Cola can cause harm.’ So when Charlie was saying Valeant is a deeply immoral company I would argue that.”

So, the answer to William Albert Ackman’s problems with his wrectched VRX position is to get into a pissing match with legendary Berkshire Hathaway investor, Charlie Munger, who, by the way, is 91 years old.

I thought I was bad for kicking old men into sewer pipes; but this is brutal.

Ackman is sounding awfully thirsty these days. Perhaps Charlie should mail him a bottle of coke.