A GENTLEMAN NEVER PAYS HIS TAILOR BILLS

Rich Brits are super assholes when it comes to paying for their clothes. Amongst the old guard aristocracy, they felt it was an affront to be asked to pay for their clothing, Churchill included.

Britain’s World War Two leader had racked up a bill of 197 pounds by 1937 – around 12,000 pounds ($18,000) at today’s prices – with Savile Row tailor Henry Poole and Co before he was finally asked to pay up.

He took offense, refused to settle the bill and never darkened Poole’s door again.

“Churchill said it was for morale, it was good for us [Henry Poole] to dress him and he wasn’t aware we were short of cash. He never did pay, and never came back – he never forgave us,” Sherwood added on Poole’s website.

Other assholes who didn’t feel like paying their tailor, included: Charles Dicken’s asshole son, King Edward VII, Bram Stoker, Prince Otto Von Bismark and of course America’s own JP Morgan, the original rusticate.

When company founder Henry Poole died, his high-profile clients owed him a huge amount and the firm was in a bad financial situation, the archives show.

The last surviving letter from Poole, written in 1875, said: “there will be nothing much to leave behind me. I have worked for a prince and for the public and must die a poor man.”

The next time I head on over to Brooks Brothers for a shirt, or pair of pants, I will simply walk out with the garments, scowling at the cashier and salesman the whole time for even thinking about me paying them for the pleasure.

Fuckery.

Old school iBC vid

They’re looking to raise another $2.1 bill, gingerly placing their alleged VC induced valuation at $62 billion, or higher than 80% of the companies in the S&P 500.

The following companies are worth less.

According to Newcomer’s reporting, Uber has increased actual U.S. gross revenue about 200 percent this year and is profitable in more than 80 cities around the world, and the number of U.S. trips completed this year has increased 250 percent compared with the same period last year.

Not bad. But what’s the p/s ratio, though?

According to hard to understand metrics, Uber should do around $11 billion in 2015 and $26 billion (really?) in 2016, making their $62 billion valuation reasonable (~6x sales) when compared to fellow unicorns who trade at 20-50x sales.

What’s Uber’s PE ratio? The fuck out of here, talking about profits and what not. This blog is over.

Martin Shkreli is a genius. Forget the fact that he livestreams himself playing World of Warcraft all day. This hoverboarding man just took a completely bankrupt company and raised $8 mill, in what’s sure to be a fucked up PIPE financing, priced at $29, and the stock soars because of it.

How is this possible?

Fucking magic, that’s how.

On this news, the stock is up 28%

KaloBios Pharma raises $8.2 mln in private placement through the sale of 280,170 shares of common stock
The co announced it has entered definitive agreements with institutional and accredited investors in connection with a private placement, or PIPE financing. Upon closing of the transaction, the Company will receive gross proceeds of approximately $8.2 million in exchange for the issuance to investors of 280,170 shares of common stock of the Company.

The Company intends to use the proceeds from the PIPE financing for an acquisition and to advance its pipeline of drug candidates, including its lead compound, lenzilumab for the treatment of myelomonocytic leukemia

Where will KBIO go from here?

Absolutely lower, that’s where. It may not happpen today or tomorrow; but rest assured, shady biotechs who get financing via PIPEs almost always trader lower.

Part of the reason why I promote Exodus, for obvious reasons, is because it’s a profit centre for the site. It’s the foundation of the site, permitting “The Fly” to cultivate a culture of abrasive winshippery throughout the internet landscape. But the primary reason why I push it on you is because it will 100% help you become a better trader. Whether it be our tightly knit community of traders in the ‘notes’ room or the predictive algorithms that have slewed 2015 at a 90% win rate, you need to pay attention to what we’re doing here.

Traders and managers of OPM alike all think they were bestowed upon the planet to be awesome traders. Nothing I can tell you will convince you that you’re a complete moron and have no idea, whatsoever, what’s going on in today’s market landscape.

Do yourselves a favor and try Exodus for a month. Ask for a demo. Ask questions. Make requests for features that you’d like to have added to the software and we’ll try to comply.

I see great tragedies hitting this market in 2016. You’ll all need all the help you can get.

The twittersphere has been disrupted this afternoon, after Muddy Waters unleashed this salvo onto the markets.

Whoa! Holy shit is right. Immediately, shares of PFPT dynamite’d lower, sending the silicon valley company into crisis mode.

After the stock dropped about 8, I am sure the C-level execs at PFPT got on the horn and called Wells Fargo to say “hey fucked faces. Help us out here. If you ever want to be a part of our money raising schemes again, you’ll rebuke this Muddy Waters shit.”

So then this came out.

MuddyWaters’ Proofpoint report more noise than substance, says Wells Fargo
Wells Fargo said the MuddyWaters Proofpoint short report was weak and said there was a lot more noise than substance in the thesis. The firm’s analyst would note that Proofpoint has one of the most respected management teams in the security sector and has been executing at a very high level this year. Wells Fargo views the weakness as a buying opportunity and reiterates its Overweight rating.

And just like that, the stock ran 5 and all of the C-level execs at PFPT were happy again.

The end?

How about that long bond? TLT is lower by 3%. The dollar is getting pummeled and commodities are higher. But stocks aren’t responding to this apparent “good news.” Theoretically, a stronger oil barrel and lower King dollar is good for stocks. We’d see short squeezes and people would toss out their TLT bond holdings and reallocate into stocks.

But, that’s not happening today, is it?

Markets are throwing an infantile tantrum because the ECB didn’t up their QE enough. And, couple that with the fact that our Fed is asininely hiking rates, into what seems to be a recession, traders are trying to force the Fed to rethink their position on hiking by cratering share prices.

BAD NEWS: It isn’t going to work this time, lads.

The Federal Reserve is no longer led by a blunt smoking boss with a beard. It’s not led by a grandmother, from Brooklyn, who is more interested in filling her candy trays with butterscotched candies than money into your purse (no homo).

I am bearish for equities in 2016; but neutral for the month of December. For members of Exodus: simply wait for the next oversold signal and act accordingly.

Talk about spoiled brats. The market is mad because Europe did the minimum QE–wait until our Fed hikes rates into a fucking recession.

Germany fell down the sewer pipe today, down 400 big ones, and U.S. markets are trading lower in sympathy.

The good news, for our exporters at least, is the dollar is getting CRUSHED v the euro today, down 3%. Funny how that happened, one day after hawkish Fed comments.

This is an evil tape.

Oil and gold are higher; biotech in the lavatory taking a dump.

My stocks: careening lower.

Happy fucking Xmas.

I have to admit being somewhat jealous that Russia has a leader who understands the art of mockery and is interested in routing out Islamic terrorism. It’s fairly obvious to me, Turkey blatantly shot down the Russian jet, who was defenseless, without air to air missiles, for the purposes of provoking them into war. That sounds pretty fucking nuts; but is it?

This, of course, had to be part of a NATO strategy, which means it had the direct approval of Obama.

Fun times.

We are not planning to engage in military saber-rattling (with Turkey),” said Putin, after asking for a moment’s silence for the two Russian servicemen killed in the immediate aftermath of the incident, and for Russian victims of terrorism.

“But if anyone thinks that having committed this awful war crime, the murder of our people, that they are going to get away with some measures concerning their tomatoes or some limits on construction and other sectors, they are sorely mistaken.”

Turkey would have cause to regret its actions “more than once,” he said, promising Russia’s retaliatory actions would be neither hysterical nor dangerous.

The rhetoric Putin used will dash hopes of any early rapprochement and deepen a rift between the two countries.

“It appears that Allah decided to punish the ruling clique of Turkey by depriving them of wisdom and judgment,” he said.
Repeating a call for a new broad international coalition against terrorism, Putin, in an overt reference to Turkey, called on countries to avoid “double standards, contacts with any terrorist organizations, and any attempts to use them for their own ends.”

As an aside, UK jets have been targeting ISIS oil fields over the past day, something NATO hasn’t done until Russia started taking out ISIS tankers.

Conspiracies abound.

This isn’t an assault on the muslim religion, as I have utter contempt for all religions equally. However, when it comes to Islam, some are more equal than others.

The suspect who committed the San Bernadino massacre is a miscreant who goes by the name of Syed Farook, killer of 14, wounder of another 17. Alongside his beast of a girlfriend, these vile creatures preyed upon defenseless people, clad in assault-styled clothing.

They interviewed his Father and he had this to say:

I haven’t heard anything,” the elder Syed Farook told the Daily News. “He was very religious. He would go to work, come back, go to pray, come back. He’s Muslim.”

Apparently, Syed had attended a holiday party at the Inland Regional Centre.

Griselda Reisinger, a former co-worker of Syed Farook, said Farook worked as a food inspector and flew under the radar at San Bernardino County’s health department, the Los Angeles Times reported.

“He was very quiet,” Reisinger, who worked for 11 years as an environmental inspector, said. “I would say hi and bye, but we never engaged him in conversation. He didn’t say much at all.”

Reisinger said Farook attended last year’s holiday party, which was held in the same conference room at the Inland center.

Farook’s father said he hasn’t seen his son in some time.

Neighbors, naturally, were “shocked” by that Syed could do such a thing.

Longtime neighbors in Riverside were shocked to hear Farook could be involved with such a brutal attack.

“He was quiet but always polite,” Maria Gutierrez told The News. “Maybe two years ago he became more religious. He grew a beard and started to wear religious clothing. The long shirt that’s like a dress and the cap on his head.”

Was he a member of ISIS? Probably not. What we do know about him, based on information from his Father and neighbors, is that he was religious and over the past two years he dialed up his fanaticism for muslim.

Tashfeen Malik, 27, was the bitch he was with when conducting these senseless murders.

Syed was 28, now dead, after a shootout with San Bernadino police officers.

UPDATE: Police confirmed explosive devices were found at the scene.

It’s that time of year again, folks. If you outperformed the market, you are knocking down that piece of shit $20 million home and building a $50 million dollar castle in its stead. You’re also going to plan for a kick ass New Years party, with lots of hookers, blow and nefarious dealings.

On the other hand, if your year was mired with pain, brought on by blogspots gone wild, you’re prepping for the R word: REDEMPTIONS.

The $2.87 trillion industry added $45.3 billion in net deposits in the first nine months of the year, according to Hedge Fund Research Inc. Only $5.6 billion came during the three months ended Sept. 30, the lowest third-quarter take since 2009, when a net $1.1 billion was deposited. If no money pours into funds in the current quarter, inflows in 2015 will be at least 40 percent below last year.

Among the most prominent losers in the second half is Bill Ackman, whose Pershing Square Capital Management is down more than 17 percent in 2015 through November. The firm has been hurt by its investment in Valeant Pharmaceuticals International Inc., whose shares have slumped 31 percent this year amid scrutiny over drug prices.

Einhorn’s Greenlight Capital has declined 21 percent this year, as positions such as SunEdison Inc., Consol Energy Inc. and Micron Technology Inc soured. Einhorn’s worst annual loss was in 2008, when his fund fell 23 percent.

Others firms have been losing money for more than a year. Mason Capital, an event-driven fund based in New York, was down about 20 percent from the start of 2014 through this year’s third quarter, according to investors. Assets fell to about $5.6 billion from about $9 billion at the end of last year.

Fortress Investment Group LLC said in October it was closing its $2.3 billion macro business run by Michael Novogratz after posting losses for almost two years. Earlier that month, Bain Capital decided to shutter its Absolute Return Capital fund after more than three years of declines.

At BlueCrest, assets have shrunk by more than 40 percent this year to $7.9 billion, mostly from withdrawals after years of lackluster returns in what was once its biggest fund. New Jersey’s public pension plan decided to pull $284 million from one international fund as of June 30, citing “disappointing” returns just over a year after adding to its investment.

Some firms will be able to hang on to much of their cash regardless of performance. Certain investors in Ackman’s Pershing Square Capital Management can only take out one-eighth of their money every quarter, meaning it takes two years to exit completely. At the end of 2014, those restrictions applied to clients accounting for about a third of the firm’s $18 billion. About another third was permanent capital from a share sale last year.

More often than not, end of year redemptions will be paired, rather nicely, with stock market fuckery, as lascivious hedge funders sashay out from their bullshit holdings in order to fulfill the requests of their clients, who want their fucking money back.