Saturday, September 24, 2016
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
14,125 Blog Posts

CONGRESS STOLE CHRISTMAS

Let me fill you in on what is really happening.

The fucktarded republicans don’t like the dicktarded democrats. They hate Obama-phones and welfare cheese. They want the government to stop spending money on ‘stuff’ and are willing to literally blow up the economy to accomplish their goals, like terrorists–ironically.

These idiots on the right signed some sort of document named after this retard, Grover-Norquist, which says (and I am paraphrasing here) “no real american will ever raise taxes, else your dicks will get cut off.”

So the Tea Party plan is to go over the cliff, kick Boehner down a flight of stairs, and eat lots of ham and shoot gatling guns in their backyards for Xmas.

Ah, but it gets better.

These same jackasses will come back to work, after the new year, and vote for “tax cuts”, in order to undo some of the fiscal cliff shit. In other words, this is purely cosmetic. During the next election the GOP will be able to say to their gun toting constituents “see those communists made us go over the cliff, but we cut your taxes in 2013.”

The end result is Christmas has been stolen.

As a nation, we’re throwing ourselves into lit fireplaces, wrapped in baize–all thanks and praise to our elected millionaires in congress who partake in high stakes parlour games at the expense of 300 million plebs.

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48 comments

  1. Berniecornfeld

    HoHoHo MotherFuckers!!

  2. Sam

    No political commentator could have put it better.

  3. Bullish

    We Americans should not take this bullshit. I say we all hold special elections to throw every single member of the House and Senate out on their asses and retroactively clawback all pension payments owed to these bastards!

    That’s how it works in the real world, don’t do your job – you find yourself quickly unemployed.

    • Mr. Cain Thaler

      The problem with that is, everyone likes their representatives. It’s everyone elses representatives we hate.

    • Fabian socialism works!
      Fabian socialism works!

      I vote that the central bankers who run the Bank for International Settlements use their military industrial complex to make people like you disappear.

      Fabian socialism works!

  4. PurduePete

    Christmas every day for Congress: free healthcare and pensions for life!

  5. Mr. President

    It’s all a game. Just a big, twisted game rife with malice and sneak-thievery.

  6. TraderCaddy

    The people have spoken.
    The people want 0bama phones, record food stamps, crappy jobs, crooks in Congress (love that Jesse Jackson, Jr.).
    Time to let the USA slide into the abyss (but don’t touch my social security you pricks- it’s my $$).
    Do it for the children.

  7. pgwarner

    BTFD, They will kick the can.

  8. mrkcbill

    Would love to see as record, the movement of these guys brokerage accounts. I’ll bet most of them made some good dough last night.

  9. Ohbondkenobi

    I think you called it exactly! Colorful, but correct!

  10. Frog

    We all must bow down to King Norquist.

  11. Mad_Scientist

    This is just another manufactured crisis to convince the public that the world will end unless they do x y z. Then when they actually do x y z, which on its own is negative and objectively wrong for almost everyone, no one will question it because “at last, they saved us.” This is the republican and demoncrap strategy to pass bad legislation on an unwilling public and yet still save face.

    • Mad_Scientist

      stock market vigilantes, if such people really exist, and if they are not overt govt agents, play directly into the govt’s hands by collapsing the market – they are helping to shape this public perception that we need tax raises and continued accumulation of a trillion in debt per year, in order to “save” us from govt inaction (which means end of the world, ya know), or gridlock, or whatever other stupid terms the media uses. Because the worst of all sins is apparently “Gridlock on capitol hill” as the media taught me in 2011 and 2012.

  12. Anton

    May Santa deliver a Christmas pox on all their houses.

  13. joe

    this market is gonna make new highs next year

    JBTFD

    goin back to bed

  14. razorsedge

    vxx workin. ill be out before any good news , i hope!

  15. Perfect Timing

    Just finished legging into DXD, which I now hold a 100% position in. Time for some Christmas KA-CHING now as I make money into the holidays. Suck it, pleebs! The 1% are laughing at you. The payroll tax is the difference between Xbox for your kids and foreclosure.

  16. TraderCaddy

    Looking for a long SMH a few minutes after the open and maybe an AAPL or GOOG scalp or two.

  17. acehood

    Voters get the politicians they deserve.

    • bobbin4apples

      The average american has no clue about any fiscal cliff. And they still feel all warm and fuzzy inside because its the hollerdayz.

    • Fabian socialism works!
      Fabian socialism works!

      People with money to rig the voting system also get the politicians they deserve.

  18. Ohthe BOMB

    If Boner put Obama’s current plan up for vote ($400K plus no tax cut; $1.2 T spending cuts; and C/L adjustment for SS) it would pass easily. BOTH houses.

    So who is to blame?

  19. The Eye-Talian Stallion
    The Eye-Talian Stallion

    I knew it, the T Party is at fault. I saw it here first.
    We know that 0bama has bent over backwards for this deal. Damn white folks.

  20. longview

    Congressman — especially Tea Partiers — feeling small and unappreciated after Obama win. Like a kid breaking a vase on purpose just to get some kind of reaction out of their parents. They want to be big boys!

    • Fabian socialism works!
      Fabian socialism works!

      Why don’t you just write a letter to the Bank for International Settlements asking them to disappear anyone who challenges their power? I mean, be efficient for Christ’s sake, you total and complete imbecile.

  21. Oh Please get a grip
    Oh Please get a grip

    So somehow its Boehner’s fault that Obama has no fiscal displine or shame at all. Because free money, MMT, and unlimted eco-pork for Christmas is on his majesty’s cronies pay back/wish list. You guys are doomed.

  22. tw

    “These same jackasses will come back to work, after the new year, and vote for”….a raise for themselves. That’s what congress is really all about.
    Well that and insider trading.

  23. TraderCaddy

    That Russell 2000 (and TNA3x etf) is one crazy animal.
    Those Russell futs were so massaged within 2-3 minutes of the open.

  24. JTU

    I don’t know what all the fear was over?
    The market is down fuck all considering.

  25. Testicules

    Health Insurance….which robber-baron should I invest in?…decisions, decisions..

  26. asteroids

    What a fucked up tape I’m looking at.

    • Fabian socialism works!
      Fabian socialism works!

      Too many people expecting an upward tape. Gotta rape their wealth just a little bit more, to appease the central bankers.

  27. bottom_feeder

    I’ve got a gattling gun? Sweet!

  28. phileo

    But wait! There’s more, while the House of Reps are busy protecting their jobs by torpedoing the economy, the Tea Party is giving away assault rifles now, and the NRA is calling for armed paramilitary to stand guard at every school in America !!
    Shouldn’t we go long SWHC now?