BEARS PUNK OUT IN MILQUETOAST AFTERNOON TRADING

Fucking cowards. I was willing to sit at my desk and lose 5% today, amidst a barrage of unforgiving sell orders by the prescient bears. Instead, I lost less than 1% and the bulls fucking steamrolled the bears in the final hour of trade.

Prepare to be kicked in the balls, then decapitated, my ursine enemies.

There isn’t a place in the world you can hide, as The Clam is an expert at hiding and knows where to look.

With just two days before your funeral, ask yourself “what shall I do in my final days?”

As for me, I sold some non-essentials, eyeballed some other shit, made arrangements to buy more equities. My only problem: stocks aren’t cheap enough. Aside from GSVC and CIEN, I am up or flat on all of my positions, so there isn’t a great sense of urgency for me to do anything. At a minimum, I will sell my TLT and throw that money into a fucking flaming barrel of garbagio aka “stocks.”

I know this market is making you sick. Do not fear, the BEARDED CLAM is watching, blunt in hand, saying “I’m gonna get those bitches on Wednesday, GYEAH.”

Internals blow. Stocks, save AAPL, are being bludgeoned to death. I sold out of AMCC and BYD for losses. My cash, including treasuries, is around 45%. The pain is bad, but not nearly as bad as the pain you will feel when the pendulum swings back to the bulls favor. For now, I remain positioned strongly in MU, VMW, FFIV, TLT, CIEN, GSVC , LCC with a small legacy sized position in WNR.

Unfortunately, gold and silver is where the money will flow, once risk is back on the table. Stocks like AG, EXK and AGQ have melted the fuck up on almost every rally this year.

Best case scenario: the blood flows heavy into the bell, spilling over into tomorrow’s session, leading to a late day reversal into the clam on Wednesday.

I am still sitting here, with my tall glass of water, watching my holdings decrease in value. I must admit, I am a bit disappointed by the action thus far. I was expecting a 4-5% sell off in my positions. But with my 30% cash position and 10% TLT position, I am only down a mere 0.8%. God willing, the selling will accelerate as the day progresses, properly punishing “The Fly” for ignoring his own algorithms. Since it’s in the past, I will tell you: The PPT flagged OVERBOUGHT on Thursday, making that 7 accurate signals in a row. If you really want to annoy me today, just ask “hey Fly, if your PPT is so fucking good, how come you don’t use it?”

Go ahead, I fucking dare you.

My only solace is seeing gold trade lower. The dollar reigns supreme, pissing on all currencies around the world.

Gentlemen, we are in the midst of a pervasive and severe deflationary vortex. US citizens now have a record $10 trillion in bank accounts. US corporations have over $2 trillion in cash, the highest levels as a percentage of market caps since the 1960’s. I am telling you now, The Fed needs to “create” more inflation. Quit looking at oil and gold as barometers for inflation. The credit markets are absolutely broken, expressly detailed by the lack of home refinances in a super low rate environment.

The only reason why I have 10%+ of my assets in TLT is because we are in a deflationary vortex, duh. However, should the Fed step in with a trilly, in a new QE, I am getting the fuck out of treasuries, in favor of equities.

As long as the European buttfuckers keep the world on edge, this fucking bullshit will persist. Until a resolution is reached, trade the ranges and survive the death tape. “The Fly” is punished right now and is unable to trade, until his penance expires.

First I voted for 0bama, now I am long into a market crash. The world works with mathematical precision. If you would take a moment away from your retarded sports events to examine the miracles of climate and how life is able to sustain in the harshest environments possible, you would soon understand there is a certain design to this planet. At times, I ignore these designs and attempt to wing it, using intuition and good ole fashioned American grit as my tools. However, in the end, American grit looks like 0hio.

For the past two trading days, “The Fly” woefully underperformed a runaway market, ignoring all of the tell-tale signs of a market top, even my very own quant. Tomorrow’s losses will be well deserved. I will savior the loss of prestige and capital, as if it were happening to my dearest of enemies. To ignore the laws of reason, based around the calculations of mathematical precision, is a crime. I am being very clear with you. I should’ve known better, but now find my self (ignorant grammar error alert!) in a most horrendous position, in the back of a jam sandwich, AND MORE. I will not sell on open, for that would give me great relief through closure. No. Instead, I will sit idle, in my non-bullshit chair that was not purchased in Staples, with nothing more than a glass of water and eyes to watch in horror as my money dwindles away like intelligence in Louisiana.

Yes, all of the ghouls are out early this evening and it has nothing to do with the Emmys. We have our own drama unfolding, all to do with the full and absolute collapse of the western banking system, stemming from the cradle of civilization itself. It’s rather ironic isn’t it?

Futures are lower by 16 and the Twittersphere of economic scholars are rife with discussions of failed auctions, German elections, and American depression. Without a doubt, the market is due for a 2-3% pullback. However, this sort of futures action portends to something far, far more sinister.

Look for the market to be engulfed by electric clouds and acid rain, eroding anything in its path. If you are long, sort of like me, expect swift decapitation and do not fear, for it will be quick. The pain will not last long once the lightening bolt strikes your heart, as your anatomy disintegrates into a pile of black ash.

In order for this country to get “back on good footing,” we need rampant homelessness. People should just leave their homes now and live out in the wilderness, directly adjacent to popular city centers. Panhandling will give you “freedom” and the opportunity to take what is rightfully yours from “the rich”- who are still working for the “corrupt” central government.

All of this bailout shit is getting in the way of true American independence: living off the fat of the land. As discussed by the homeless porn scholars across the blogosphere, there is only one way out of this mess: down.

While some of you remain disillusioned to the world around you, going on decadent vacations in the Caribbean, noshing on beluga caviar, drinking high end wine, and having obnoxious annual dinners at Rouge Tomate, there are grave dangers almost everywhere I look. For example, just yesterday I saw some woman attempting to pay for her Wholefoods groceries with food stamps. Luckily, the cashiers did the “right thing” and had her arrested and deported to a nearby FEMA concentration camp.

In this day and age, there is no future in enterprising or starting businesses, just homelessness. If you bother working, the government is just gonna swipe your checking accounts and spend that shit on elaborate vacations for Michelle Obama anyway. Plus, Greece has so much debt, compounded since the days of Agamemnon, there is really no point in trying to get out of this fucking mess. Let’s just let the Persians and the Chinese conduct land-grabs, while we cry naked in bathtubs filled with powdered milk.

The market is melting up and I am busy throwing large quantities of money into flaming barrels of garbage. It’s Murphy’s law at play here, pal. I was going to allocate some coin into CREE today, when it was +0.45. Instead, I threw money into a flaming tar pit in BYD, currently off by 1% from my basis.

I am elated to see the market higher. Hell, if it was lower, my CIEN, VMW, and FFIV positions might be down 15% each. For that, I am most humbly grateful to the all-fucking-mighty for such splendour, gifting me with such minor inconveniences and accumulative losses (1%). The market was high on crack yesterday, yet I managed to squeak out a 0.3% gain.

FUCK YOU, running sideways, with footballs in your ass.

I don’t like this game anymore and I am going home. Once I get home, I am going to launch Saddaaaaam Hussein era Scud missiles into the playing field. And (I am not done), I am, purposely, going to lose money next week, as a penalty for the shit I pulled this week. It’s do or die with “The Fly” and I have no choice but to “Rick Perry” myself, by way of howitzer to the face.

Oh, by the way, I am sooooo excited about the prospects of my fucking TLT position. When the world is lit aflame by alien hordes, I might be able to eek out a small profit and handsome as the hamburglalr [SIC] dividend.

I bought 10,000 BYD in a desperate attempt to make money in this market. Follow me at your own peril.

I am totally missing out on today’s melt up, as tech trades lower as if they market were down 300. Consumer discretionary names are off to the races, led by stocks like HANS, EL, KMB, COST etc. I am not sure why retail is roaring higher. However, I can tell you this much: the sector isn’t pricing in a fucking recession. That’s for sure.

Ahead of Bernanke and the Fed, it’s dangerous to short here. He may very well chequemate the global bear team and crush them on a QE3 announcement.

I am not particularly happy right now. As a matter of fact, I am downright glum about my underperformance over the past two days. It’s so important to make these rallies count when you get them. To lose money when the market is gapping up is a fucking crime. I should “Rick Perry” (execute) myself for fucking up.

Nevertheless, I remind myself that the market isn’t over in two trading sessions and next week may bring me great fortune. But I am very concerned about the longevity of this rally. Should we correct, I can find myself down 10% in these fuckhole stocks, leaving my YTD gains around 2%.

It’s non-stop fun in the world of money management and I am sure all of you cocksuckers have managed it perfectly, with your 5 figure Zeeco accounts at risk.

Off to conduct sacrifice rituals with my VooDoo Physician.

This market appears to be frustrating. However, if you look at it objectively, we are simply digesting recent gains. I am bleeding out a bit here, with most of my stocks lower. As a matter of fact, my CIEN position is outright sinking. Nonetheless, I am not going to panic out of the market on a slow Friday afternoon. As a matter of fact, I am tired of running.

This market reminds me of a horror movie when the victim is constantly on the run from the killer. He run and runs and runs, tripping over garbage pails and into dead ends. There comes a point when the man realizes he is wasting valuable energy, running from the killer and decides to make a stand and fight to the death. Granted, that analogy is completely absurd when putting it into the context of capital markets. But there is some value in sticking to convictions and riding out the troughs.

I’ve made my bed, long tech, into a European banking crisis. I have downside exposure, with no hedges other than my super sized TLT position. Although I believe the market can see lower prices before higher, I’m tired of trying to time every fucking tick. I’ve been trading like a lunatic on meth for about 6 months now.

It’s time to make a stand.