iBankCoin Reigns Supreme

UPDATE: Look who’s on fucking fire.

As I type this message, from the luxury of my oversized mahogany desk, I am reminded of an old saying: “bet against “The Fly” and get your marbles bit off by a pack of rabid pitbulls.” Pardon the expression, but the fucking pussies over at iPhoneland are getting the stuffing kicked out of them by none other than: The Godly folks at iBC.

At the present, the iBC app is ranked #23 in the United States (and climbing) for finance, just under the friendly faggots from E-trade.

I digress (an annoying expression, indeud [sic]. So, I digress, yet again).

This may seem like a small victory in a sea of the countless wins for “The Fly”; but it’s much more than that. Now, instead of simply discussing market events with morons from the internets, I get to cast aspersions upon the people of the iPhone world, a disgusting and revolting crowd, indeud [sic].

So, for those of you from the phone world, wondering who the fuck “The Fly” is, know this: “The Fly” wins all the time, even when you think he is losing. His winship cannot be compared, or paralleled, to anyone on these here internets— or in your pathetic phone application world, where you spend most your lonely days downloading “apps” in a heinous attempt to entertain yourself, instead of talking to people in the real world. You people are bereft of honour [sic]. If at all possible, I’d make an app to punch your fucking mustaches off, while laughing all the way to “Le Bank.”

Hurry up and remove the iBankCoin app from your iphone at once,  before the crazy man from the internets punches your chest hairs off and makes fun of your face.

Aside from all that, I think the market goes higher tomorrow.

Back to eating a box of pretzels.

NOTE: Sometime soon, you wil be able to leave comments from your iPhone. I am sure the iPhone people have an opinion or two on this subject matter.

As I type this message, from the luxury of my oversized mahogany desk, I am reminded of an old saying: “bet against “The Fly” and get your cock bit off by a pack of rabid pitbulls.” Pardon the expression, but the fucking pussies over at iPhoneland are getting the stuffing kicked out of them by none other than: The Godly folks at iBC.

At the present, we are ranked #23 in the United States for finance, just under the faggots from E-trade.

I digress (an annoying expression, indeud [sic].

This may seem like a small victory in a sea of the countless wins for “The Fly”; but it’s much more than that. Now, instead of simply discussing market events with morons from the internets. I get to cast aspersions upon the people of the iPhone world, a disgusting and revolting crowd, indeud [sic].

So, for those of you from the phone world, wondering who the fuck I think I am, know this: “The Fly” wins all the time, even when he loses, even when you think

Clad with smoking jackets and Playbills in hand, investors worried all day long about the fate of their equities. For many, the drama was too much, sending them to their local hospitals due to chronic fainting syndrome aka “vasovagal.” Before passing out from all of the turmoil, melodramatic investors sold out of their holdings and bought healthy amounts of [[FAZ]] aka “they got in the FAZmobile.”

While in the back seat of my 1980’s style stretch limo, I witnessed some of these fruity investors discussing the “market theatrics,” just prior to throwing a pack of firecrackers at them.

“Oh Henry, my portfolio is down. The drama, it’s, it’s too much (he faints, firecrackers ensue).”

As I type this blog, the Dow Jones is down a staggering 0.58%, causing the distinguished talking faces on CNBC to scare people stupid, by way of reminding them that we might retest the March 2009 lows, indeud. Then they scurry about to discuss the unimportant developments regarding ETF issuance.

In short, “The Fly” took his lumps like a man, losing almost 3% for the day. Easy come, easy go. If the momentum continues to the downside, there is another 200 points max of downside left. However, I would not be surprised to see the market trade up tomorrow. Once again, just to remind you stupid bastards where I stand, this is a LONG ONLY market. Failure to adhere to these prescient warnings will result in the foreclosure of your house, dissolution of your marriage and custody loss of your kids.

Trade accordingly.

Let the market sell off a bit; who cares? Today’s bloody tape is good for the bears’ confidence. Let them get all huffy again, so that I may burn them at the stake later. It’s equal to letting a small child win a footrace. Run little bear, run.

I’m not ready to buy just yet. The sell off is too shallow. I have numerous positions getting punched in the scrotum and I view such assaults as “healthy.”

At the very top of my shopping list, on further weakness, is Sociedad Quimica y Minera (ADR) [[SQM]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , Equinix, Inc. [[EQIX]] and Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] .

If you are a short term trader, with your dicks stuck in donuts over this sell off, do something about it. Do yourself a favor and run your positions through a virtual stress test, reducing their stock prices by 20% or so, and see if you can handle it. If not, you need to raise cash.

See folks, investing is not about making money, then taking your special lady friend to the opera for celebration. That’s fucking gay. Life in the market is about digging a trench in your front yard, in order to sneak attack your neighbor by offering him a 6am punch to the face, unannounced and completely unexpected. If you are trading like an imbecile, then you are a victim and will be treated as such.

Be a predator; quit being a pussy.

Bottom line: stocks are weak. Expect to lose money. Make sure you can handle it.