iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,471 Blog Posts

The Prophecies of The Fly

In the year of the accordion, The Baltic Dry Index will change its name to SCAM, whereby all investors of the underlying equities shall be given 1 bag of rice per 1,000 shares of stock. It will be lauded by President Palin as “fair settlement” for “wourthless assets.”

In the year of the goat, men with muskets will fall into harms way, via blackhole induced time travel. The NY Times will offer extensive coverage of the ordeal.

In the year of the lamb, pestilence will be encouraged to spread through the continental United States, in order to deal with the troublesome “surplus supply” of humans.

And, finally, on the day of November 20th, 2009, only one day after the debut of The New Moon, the market shall rise and fill the lungs of the overzealous with black smoke and iron.

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46 comments

  1. Jworthy

    Will Murdoch make us pay for the coverage?

    So upset that New Moon references have infiltrated your posts.

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  2. dumas

    FIG

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  3. franky

    this is vague enough to be as useful as a fortune cookie Sir Fly, but as always it is both amusing and provoking. Thank you kind sir for wasting your considerable talent on the likes of us…

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  4. Homo Bob

    Truth.

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  5. JakeGint

    He has a little girl. One cannot escape this damned vampire-werewolf teenie bopper thing if one has any of those.

    Mine is only nine and already ensnared.

    ________

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    • The_Real_Hmmmm

      It wouldn’t surprise me to hear Mrs. Fly has read the books too. This is a female phenomena, not exclusive to teenagers, from what I have seen. For a social dichotomy I present Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. $500M+ in its first week.

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      • chanci

        My little (14 yo) girl, too. And it doesn’t even bother her when somebody bites into a vein and drinks blood. I mean ICKeee ewyeee!

        I don’t like the books myself, but I did take her to the movie (first one) and really enjoyed the baseball game between the different vampire groups. Great special effects. It was really quite AWESOME.

        We try to get her to read “Pride & Prejudice” and “Little Women”, but haha, fat chance that.

        It’s the romance they like. The love between the two main characters. And the vampire guy is dangerous, but he plays the piano and writes incredible music…

        Girls like love, romance, danger and mystery, especially as young teens and tweens.

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    • Steve Place

      My wife convinced me to buy the car that they drive in the books.

      It’s that bad.

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      • JakeGint

        Which is what?

        My wife read the book before she’d let daughter read it (pre-approval is necessary on all “kids” material these days, unfortunately).

        She’s a big fan of romance novels, but she thought these a little too insipid.

        _________

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  6. chessNwine

    surplus supply of humans? Fly, you took your family to see “A Christmas Carol?”

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    • TA

      There’s a surplus supply of humans everywhere, some countries more than others.
      Africa is the only continent doing it’s best to contain the issue.

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  7. ZOILA

    figgin-a man

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  8. Roar-ee

    The Baltic Dry Index has nothing to do with equities.

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  9. Aristotle

    Flystradamus has spoken!

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  10. TMoe

    These low volume days are so not exciting. In order to get some excitement from this market I have to resort to some fine columbian blow. As someone put it here last week, lines of fine columbian blow done off a strippers back!” Now thats exciting

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  11. ZenProfit

    New Moon? Vampires?

    Don’t let his innocent, little nom de plume fool you. The Fly is a 3,000 year old Ancient traveler.

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    • JakeGint

      Not LeFly, then, but….

      LeStat?

      ________

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      • DPeezy

        Your comment is incomplete without: http://instantrimshot.com/

        Well done.

        _______

        I read the first 2 Twilight books, not ashamed to admit it (they’re about as good as the latest Dan Brown formulaic drivel). According to the wife, they give great insight into how the “other side” thinks/feels.

        All I can say is…thank the maker that I was not born a woman…cause that shit is messed up!

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  12. TraderMark

    NostraFLYmous,

    I can only predict 72 hours out

    7 of the past 8 Mondays have been up and by average of 1.3%

    Could be meaningless but…

    http://www.fundmymutualfund.com/2009/11/what-heck-is-going-on-during-mondays.html

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  13. DownTick

    Gozer the Fly will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldronaii the Fly came as a very large and moving Torb. Then of course in the third reconciliation of the last of the Meketrex supplicants they chose a new form for him, that of a Sloar. Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Sloar that day I can tell you.

    http://www.depthsofthesloar.com/

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    • MOOBS

      THERE IS NO DANA! ONLY ZUUL!

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      • JakeGint

        LOL, one of my favorite scenes of all time (as you well know).

        _______

        Works for everything, btw… viz:

        There is no Flotek, ONLY ZUL!

        ________

        Funny every single time. Uncanny.

        __

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  14. Dr Fly

    Correct, I took my oldest son to xmas carol. That was my fav line of movie. Scrooge was a bossman.

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  15. DSB

    I found a cheap new drug…

    Options on triple leveraged ETFs. The holding period on these hell spawned fuckers is 3 days – 2 weeks anyway, and you put way less money to work. My buddy at UBS had a strong pimp hand with these until the firm recently banned all leveraged ETFs (and options on them).

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    • Generational BOTTOM Picker
      Generational BOTTOM Picker

      Impossible to trade profitably. The bid/asked spreads are too wide.

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      • DSB

        Tell that to the 25% I just made in 3 days. Of course now that I said that I’ll immediately lose 25% on the next one.

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  16. bucket brigade

    The Fly is an expert on the BDI, after all the pos Flymobile he drives is a Fjord.

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  17. The Fly

    The Dow just went green.

    Indeud.

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    • TMoe

      Who cares about or watches the Dow? Pikers!

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      • The Fly

        Tmoe

        I like you. I can tell you are young and a little new to investing. Trust me when i say, do not bet against Turkey.

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        • dumas

          Is the turkey god a demigod?

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        • TMoe

          Young, yes I guess, not that young though. Been at the investing game since 2000, realized that the game is rigged and that buy and hold is for losers about 5 years ago. Became a bear while I was working for an I bank that I won’t mention, and saw first hand the shit sandwich they were building. Will stay a bear until something is fixed and the truth prevails

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        • dave

          Ghey

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  18. The Fly

    Who is the moron on teevee recommending DUG?

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  19. Teahouse On The Tracks
    Teahouse On The Tracks

    Fly dump those DRYS shares when raising cash?

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    • The Fly

      I am out of DRYS. They suck. I like DSX better.

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      • Teahouse On The Tracks
        Teahouse On The Tracks

        Thought so …… you and Cramer seem to be on the same page lately …… Odd, no?

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    • TA

      Still riding DRYS

      The put premiums more than paid for the BS going on with it. I’m up a bunch on one lot and break even on the other.

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  20. Bill

    Picked up some GDXJ the new small gold etf – Paulson is 10% in gold miners now.

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  21. JakeGint

    urp — wrong thread—->>>>>>>>

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  22. tgarfield

    What size of bag would that rice be?

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