Good News For You Hurricane Lovers

UPDATE: Never mind. Tropical Storm Bertha is a fucking fish storm.

Better luck next time.

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Larry Kudlow, Asshat

What better way to celebrate the 4th of July than giving “Larry of America” an Asshat award?

I like Larry. I really do.

If he and I were friends, I’d probably drink a few bottles of whiskey with him, then challenge him to a game of knuckle punching.

However, this man is out of control. A regular lunatic he is.

Look, the country is fucked. Okay? Quit fucking around, telling people shit is good, when 3/4th’s of American industry is distressed.

As you know by now, Larry likes to play games on the television. He invites a cast of ridiculous permabulls to his show, then proceeds to have circle jerks with them, talking about bullish shit—while dismissing the negatives as “nonsense.”

What this sick bastard does next is reprehensible. He invites reasonable people to join him for a discussion about the economy, like Barry; then he proceeds to attack that one guy for being a “doom and gloomer,” with the rest of his circle jerk panel echoing his sentiments.

A real sick bastard, that Kudlow is. Sicko!

Ironically, Larry believes he is “doing right” by the American people, via offering optimistic jargon. However, in reality, he is nothing more than a propagandist for the fucktards who made this mess. My guess, Larry’s stupefied rants have resulted in an increase in the foreclosure rate, due to loyal viewers blindly buying stocks, no matter what, on his advice.

For that, Mr. Larry of America, you get an Asshat award.

Happy 4th, fuckers.

I sold short 3,000 [[CLF]] @ $96.

Disclaimer: If you sell short CLF because of this post, some jerk off will throw a pack of jumping jacks in your car. And, you may lose money.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKb0v27N3xc&feature=related 450 300]

The market is up, but the important sectors (energy, steel, banks, ag) are weak. Today is an abbreviated session, so don’t expect much. The real fireworks (pun intended) will begin on Monday.

There are a few things “The Fly” is proud of:

For one, I am immensely proud of my children. They are beautiful and amazing. Also, I am proud to be married to such a beautiful/intelligent woman, who happens to be a great cook, Mother and companion.

Thirdly, “The Fly” is proud to be short [[FMBI]], [[TCB]] and [[PACW]].

All three of those fucking stocks bring tears to my eye, when I reminisce over the first day I sold them.

I still remember, to this day. It was a muggy summer afternoon. My trader/servant was out and about, eating a bagel or some shit, while I had to execute my own fucking trades. Can you believe that?

Anyway, “The Fly” was pissed off, throwing paintings around the office, punching the refrigerator and yelling at the people around him. Then, all of a sudden, he looked up at his screen and saw the letters F-M-B-I.

He was intrigued!

Immediately, he raced back to his desk and sold short 20,000 shares and laughed with glee, for he knew right then and there those four letters were going to make him rich-er.

Then, like 15 minutes later, “The Fly’s” trader/servant came back and said: “Fly, you know that asshole down the hall who you hate”?

Fly replied: “Yeah, what did that asshole want”?

The trader/servant replied: “He said he was sorry about coming into your office with his shoes on. He said he wants to make it up to you. He said to buy TCB and PACW.”

My landscaper is in the mafia. No doubt.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBqwtRubyJM 450 300]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bc9GTTxIai8 450 300]

The airlines, autos, banks and the retailers are all going under. Ironically, the fucking farmers are doing swell. Remember back in the 80’s, when those fuckers were as poor as cow shit? They even threw concerts (Farm Aid) for those assholes. Farmers were just walking away from their crops and moving to the ‘big city,’ like the fucking rubes they are.

I bet loads of those assholes took up executive positions at Bear Stearns.

Oh the irony.

I’m getting my face kicked in, long [[RIG]], [[ARD]], [[FTK]] and [[PCZ]] here. Thinking fast, trying to stem the bleeding, I bought a block of [[DUG]]. Ultimately, the oil names will rebound and hit new highs. However, we are in ‘fuck mode’ right now.

Get your guns and sharp blades ready. Soon enough, assholes with tow trucks will roll up to your house and jack you for your grub, via towing away your bullshit refrigerator, right out of your house.

Just know, “The Fly” sees shit in slow motion. I can see the hits coming, before they happen. Right now, I’m into all sorts of short positions, mostly for the fun of it.

After all, I am up nearly 55% year to date and I don’t need more money. However, it’s worth noting, I do want new money.

They really need to fire everyone on CNBC. If I were in charge, I’d replace them with comedians, like Chris Rock and Robin Williams.

Finally, I made a lot of moves today. Go reference my ‘Fly Buys/Sells’ for a detailed look. In short, I want to be a net buyer of energy stocks on this dip, while greedily hedged with DUG. Also, I want revenge against the devil, via long [[SMN]]. And, I have a variety of bank stocks that should be at zero. Therefore, I am short.

Also, I covered most of my [[HRB]] short. It’s too fucking lame.

Holy Shit Update: Go check [[NVDA]]. Go long [[SSG]] off of this disaster. Apparently, NVDA has a packaging issue. Off the top of my head, [[AMKR]] is into that type of shit. Short them too.