iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,445 Blog Posts

A Short Tale in Flydom

The market is up, but the important sectors (energy, steel, banks, ag) are weak. Today is an abbreviated session, so don’t expect much. The real fireworks (pun intended) will begin on Monday.

There are a few things “The Fly” is proud of:

For one, I am immensely proud of my children. They are beautiful and amazing. Also, I am proud to be married to such a beautiful/intelligent woman, who happens to be a great cook, Mother and companion.

Thirdly, “The Fly” is proud to be short [[FMBI]], [[TCB]] and [[PACW]].

All three of those fucking stocks bring tears to my eye, when I reminisce over the first day I sold them.

I still remember, to this day. It was a muggy summer afternoon. My trader/servant was out and about, eating a bagel or some shit, while I had to execute my own fucking trades. Can you believe that?

Anyway, “The Fly” was pissed off, throwing paintings around the office, punching the refrigerator and yelling at the people around him. Then, all of a sudden, he looked up at his screen and saw the letters F-M-B-I.

He was intrigued!

Immediately, he raced back to his desk and sold short 20,000 shares and laughed with glee, for he knew right then and there those four letters were going to make him rich-er.

Then, like 15 minutes later, “The Fly’s” trader/servant came back and said: “Fly, you know that asshole down the hall who you hate”?

Fly replied: “Yeah, what did that asshole want”?

The trader/servant replied: “He said he was sorry about coming into your office with his shoes on. He said he wants to make it up to you. He said to buy TCB and PACW.”

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37 comments

  1. Granpa

    Congrats on the family pride. Nothing better.
    Fly,
    Are shippers broken in the same way as coal and steel? To be shorted with impunity.
    Do you have one of your special lists of favorites if that is the case?

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  2. No comment. No, wait, better check those paintings – could be worth a lot of money.

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  3. Anton Cigur

    That was soooooo sweet. Like one of those posters with a picture of a cute little kitten desperately holding on to the edge of a high shelf and a headline that reads, “Hang In There!”

    So who hacked in on the front half of “The Fly”‘s post?

    Thanks for the diabetes.

    Oh, and the money. That too.

    I heart you thiiiiiiis much.

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  4. mrkcbill

    Hey Anton, Heads or Tails..are you going to play with your cattle gun this weekend?

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  5. Anton Cigur

    What business is it of YOURS what I do this weekend, friend-o?

    But since you asked so nice… Only if I trip over cnbc garden gnome Jim “J” Cramer.

    Since I don’t spend my weekends on Fire Island, chances are remote on that score, however.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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  6. Heckler511

    So Fly… because the asshole down the hall said to buy TCB and PACW, and because you hate him, you decided to do the opposite and sell short the two regional banks?

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  7. Anton Cigur

    …Or Larry “Clean & Sober Since Breakfast” Kudlow.

    But he sounds like he’s already taken a head shot.

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  8. Donny

    I think a few in here are starting understand that we are now at a fork in the road, a moment of truth, and the beginning of the END for the commodities/energy bull run. The shit has now hit the fan Pal.

    Energy has got a big ole’ target right on its chest. The bears are gonna rip the heart out of this sector, and when it happens, the Dow will have a “9” handle, or perhaps an “8”.

    I am off … off to the filthy sin city.

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  9. Fabregas

    You are getting RIGed.

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  10. Juice

    Touching post .. almost brought a tear to thine eyes.

    On another note .. a reality check note ( Reality does make itself known every now & again) – My brothers friend dropped of a heart attack at 54 years. Retired rich from GS at 38. Lived large, enjoyed & shared his money, although my bro called him an asshole at times. This guy did the Ironman, played golf, looked to be in great shape. Was climbing some mountains on his bike in Colorado, had the heart attack. Ambulances were there in 6 minutes, to no avail.

    Moral of story? Y’all tell me.

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  11. The Fly

    Yes, I know. I am being ‘rigged.’

    It is acceptable, in comparison to my shorts. I am fully aware of the downside and accept it like a fucking man.

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  12. MACALLAN18

    Fly … thx for the entertainment! You’re intelligent and funny!

    Happy 4th of July.

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  13. the Godfather

    Mr Fly, RIG has been hit with the homo hammer of death!

    Nuf said.

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  14. boca

    Happy 4th of July weekend to Mr. and Mrs. Fly, the Fly family, and all of the fine godly IBC’ers.

    Juice, it’s sad, isn’t it? Sorry to hear it, hopefully he’s now on his way to somewhere better than this world.

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  15. The Fly

    So what!

    Big deal.

    What, you fuckers want to die rich or something?

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  16. The Fly

    Juice:

    Red meat is a killer.

    I really need to eat more fish.

    Swordfish anyone?

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  17. The Fly

    You too Boca.

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  18. calvino

    Sounds like he had a good time while he was here. Hopefully it was all good for something.

    Now with that out of the way. Get back to the fucking market, Fly, and add some liquidity. These douchebags are running the tape with wcratch ticket winnings. Fuckdiculous. Seven thousand service jobs added and of course another birth of bullshit and death of reality 150,000 add. This was a bad employment report. Rallying on this is not even decent, since real people are getting hosed here.

    update.. mxb shares unavailable to be borrowed.

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  19. mrkcbill

    What does Fly’s Fireworks sack look like?

    I can only visualize M-80’s and thats it. Just a shitload of M-80’s and a Bic lighter.

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  20. Dinosaur Trader

    Let’s get this settled once and for all…

    Who is the bigger dick? Kudlow or Kneale?

    Thank you.

    -DT

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  21. Juice

    Boca – I’ve read that when you drop, the personality is deleted. The impersonal spirit goes to the other side and stays there for however long and eventually returns to this planet to occupy another body/a completely different personality is formed, learn more lessons, collect more wisdom/knowledge, until perfection, whatever that is. This can take trillions of years. IOW, the spirit lives forever, however we, as we know ourselves, do not.

    I throw this out there at the risk of taking 2 by 4’s over the head by those who wish to throw their own beliefs at me. At the risk of opening cans of worms that (Jake) will jump on. ( Fortunately, I will be heading out the door for a bike ride myself.) You know people are killed for having different beliefs, every day, of every century, of every millenia.

    Moral of the story; who the fuck knows.

    Have a nice holiday, all.

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  22. Kiwin

    mrkcbill: I’m sure he has some big ass mortars, minus the pipe to shoot them out of. He just lays them on the ground and aims them at his neighbors.

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  23. Anton Cigur

    Thanks for the buzz kill, Juice.

    Back to snorting the rest of my 8-ball off of this hooker’s ass now.

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  24. lightening_fast_draw
    lightening_fast_draw

    In addition to technical analysis and quant, I use a highly, reliable fish pond indicator. My pond contains fish which are embedded with a highly sophisticated micro chip representing each stock trading on the NASDAQ and NYSE. I then pipe in data feeds from Reuters and Dow Jones and monitor their activity. This method of data-filtering has an added advantage over most technical indicators in that the behavior of fish is similar in many ways to the behavior of stock traders. Also, fish taste better.

    That said, buying DUG as a counter-trend trade is one of the pond’s top picks.

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  25. Dinosaur Trader

    Bruce,

    I can’t imagine Jakey finding anything wrong with your post.

    -DT

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  26. Spinnaker

    Had open heart surgery last december and was told later they had an ugly time kick-starting my ticker at the end of it. Didn’t see nothing, hear nothing and remember anything.
    So enjoy the long weekend and even though I don’t know why the hell they’re killing FTK of which I am long at $19.95 last Thursday I’m gonna crack that bottle of Prosecco I’ve been saving for 1:00 today and go for an easy amble by the lake and enjoy the weekend.

    Cheers-spinnaker

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  27. howard lindzon

    your kids will turn on you so be careful 🙂

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  28. Gay Carpenter

    Anybody seen my hammer?

    What’s so funny?

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  29. TraderCaddy

    The kids may turn on you but when you think all hope is lost they turn into human beings and the cycle begins again. Kind of like the Lion King of kids.

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  30. Cajun

    lol @ carpenter. That was gold.

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  31. Jakegint

    Bruce asks (and I think, seriously)

    Moral of story? Y’all tell me.

    Answer: That’s an easy one.

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  32. Jakegint

    Red meat is a killer.

    I really need to eat more fish.

    Swordfish anyone?

    Egregiously agreed. I only started getting serious about the red meat after my Dad got colon cancer and died a month after surgery. Moral of that story? The cancer is easy to cure, it’s the surgery that will take you out on a stretcher.

    Further conclusion: Definitely, eat more fish. Makes you smarter and does not fill your lower innards for five years at a clip.

    Last observation: I wish someone could tell me what the fascination is with swordfish. I find it nearly inedible. A nice mahi mahi? A sweet sea bass/tooth fish? Rare ahi tuna with a sesame crust? All fucking day.

    You can keep the cardboardy swordfish for the mantlepiece.

    ___

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  33. Jakegint

    I can only visualize M-80’s and thats it. Just a shitload of M-80’s and a Bic lighter.

    You are obviously not from Brooklyn. Even in Lawn Guyland you could get beat up for carrying anything less than a blockbuster or pineapple on the Fourth.

    _

    Aside to Fly: Screw the criticizers, I think it’s great you talk about your love for your family, even if it’s mixed in with the comedia. It may be one of the best things about this blog.

    My little family always get hyped for the Fourth, not the least reason being that it’s the birthday of my middle son. The crazy one.

    _

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  34. Jakegint

    Bruce,

    I can’t imagine Jakey finding anything wrong with your post.

    Who knows if the commie reptile is kidding here or not? Short answer: the commie is correct.

    I’m just glad Bruce believes in something.

    It’s the commie nihilists — the one’s who join churches for political reasons — that scare the shit out of me.

    _

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  35. Danny

    I wonder if my parents think I’m the crazy one.

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  36. Anton Cigur

    “Aside to Fly: Screw the criticizers”

    Aside to Jake, Lenny Bruce style: DON’T screw the criticizers’ criticizers.

    Just busting Mister “The Fly”‘s titanium “balls,” jerky.

    And try grilling that swordfish over some wood chips from the dear departed Woodshedder. Better yet, try ono (not Yoko).

    Happy B’day to middle Gint and may the whole of your progeny still be able to count to 30 on their little piggies after the 4th.

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  37. Jakegint

    Thanks Anton, I knew you were just joking, for the record.

    But I hope they can count to 40, after the weekend, or there’ll be egregious ER bills in my future.

    I didn’t escape without having to pay for a wedding, in other words.

    ____

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