Wu-Tang Clan -Tearz

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFXkqef3Njk 450 300]

Oh, the good news is we didn’t crash. Unfortunately,  once again, the asshats who buy and sell stocks have decided to bleed this fucker out until it goes to zero.

At the apex of today’s rally, it was still gay. Stocks are so fucking timid right now, not even the hand of Zeus can make them ascend. There are no buyers, just jerkoff hedge fund managers getting blown the fuck out.

We might as well match Japan and touch down on 28 years lows, down to Dow 800.

Fuck it.

Naturally, I regret buying stocks today and selling my inverse etf’s. What the fuck was I thinking, betting on this stupid bitch of a whore going higher?

You cocksucking, motherfuckers.

At least I get to watch the Asian bullshit artists get clown raped tonight. God willing, those fuckers knife lower by 90% tonight.

Also, can Morgan Stanley [[MS]] , Citigroup Inc. [[C]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] just fess up and file for bankruptcy protection already?

They come from dark, cigar smoke filled, offices, where plants die from lack of photosynthesis and the careers of brokers are shattered, without a second glance. These “clerks” are bitches of the highest order, whose task is to sell, sell, sell, all the time, no matter what.

They search and scurry about for money wires and incoming checks. They do not care about your stories or reasons pertaining to why your equity is BELOW MINIMUM MAINTENANCE. They hate you, piker brokers, with all of their life force and look forward to blowing out of your bullshit positions, with negative equity, if possible, at 3:00, everyday.

You may ask for mercy or even trick these hideous creatures, in order to live another day BELOW MINIMUM MAINTENANCE; but they will get you.

These assholes will storm into your bullshit office, first thing tomorrow morning, demanding money wires, “else they will BLOW OUT” of your homo positions at 3:00, negative equity, if possible.

Here they come now.

I am a raging gorilla (on steroids and coke), eating all the fucking bananas. No bananas for you, fuckers. They are all for me. It is my tree, assholes.

In other news:

Look at Fifth Third Bancorp [[FITB]] today, up BIG on gov’t money. What the fuck does that mean?

Well, goat lovers, that means lots of banks will shoot higher off of this non-event, since the market deems it to be cool.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the market is gayer than a two dollar fiddle. However, it’s time for us to go higher now, at least for a day. It’s time for Zeus himself to come down and strike those who are short equities, with giant lightning bolts and buckets upon buckets of cold water from the Arctic
Ocean.

As you know, “The Fly” is aligned with the stock Gods and has a very keen eye for market turns. The lack of volatility is HUGE for pikers on the sidelines. The market needs a few sedatives, before a move up. Should this fucker stabilize, we shall have the “epic rally” I was alluding to last week.

When that happens, you’re going to want to be long emerging markets, like Hong Kong and Korea. Hell, you may even want to go long those hari-kari cancers from the east: Japan.

In short, Zeus is coming down (from the heavens), following his afternoon snack of grapes and sweet ambrosia. He is bringing his lightning bolts and arctic water with him, and will turn many bearshitters into smoldering piles of ash and shit, sometime soon.

NOTE: To play emerging markets, [[EEM]] , [[EWH]] , [[FXI]] and [[EWY]] are my favorites. For Japan, just go long Canon Inc. (ADR) [[CAJ]] or NTT DoCoMo, Inc. (ADR) [[DCM]]

You fuckers need to understand something:

“The Fly” is up more than 45% this year. In other words, I can afford to take chances that most of you cannot. Sure, I sold my inverse etf’s today, then went long, betting on some sort of miraculous turnaround. But, even if I am wrong, what am I risking? Money?

Money is an ass.

I still have more than 30% cash and a whole lot of leverage, if needed. So, basically, I am just moonlighting, trying to pick off a few good scalps, while drinking my excessively large can of Monster Energy Soda.

Much to my chagrin, the trading desk is having “technical difficulties” this morning, which in turn is encouraging me to murder my trader/servant.

I have all sorts of fun shit to do today, none of which is of any concern of yours, by the way. Just know, “The Fly” is kicking the chicken livers out of idle chickens and his football team is undefeated this year.

Top picks: [[UYG]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] , [[DIG]] , The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , [[EEM]]

UPDATE: I am down to 25% cash. I will freeze all additional buys until tomorrow.

Art Cashin wouldn’t be happy if the market fell 5,000 points today. That old bastard is one big fucktard. I don’t care if he’s been trading since the great depression; there has never been a market as bad as this—sans Japan circa 2008.

All of you chart chomping motherfuckers must be BESIDES yourselves, as the imaginary levels you built up for yourself fail and fail again. On the other hand, men with very high IQ’s, such as myself, game this market as if they were selling crack cocaine in the back of the White House (I have no idea what that meant).

With my money, I intend to cover my hedges today. I have a hunch; therefore I am going with it.

Going back to my “rich mans advice” post:

Half of my money is in bearish instruments. I will cover all of my shorts and sell my inverse etf’s at once, leaving the proceeds in cash. Doing this will put my cash position at around 57%, with another 43% long, specifically in commodities.

With the cash, I will start buying on dips, in increments, leaving no more than 25% in money markets.

More on this later.

UPDATE: I sold all of my [[SKF]] . With the proceeds, I bought [[DIG]] , [[ROM]] , National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] and The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] . Presently, I have more than 40% in cash.

UPDATE II: I bought 100,000 [[UYG]] @ $8.12.

UPDATE III: Buying 1,000 share blocks of [[EEM]] , starting from 19.45.

The giant leg downs in foreign currencies, ex-Japan, are indicative of western money running for cover. Without a doubt, the next giant shoe will emerge in the emerging markets, ironically. Whether it comes in the form of national default, or widespread runs on foreign banks, one thing is abundantly clear: western investors have zero tolerance for risk.

One of the side caveats to the forex fuckery is the amount of exposure multi-national corporations have in Aussie, Euro, South American and Pac rim hedges. I guaranfuckingtee you, very soon, we will hear of all sorts of “forex related losses,” with hedges gone wrong, amidst calamitous drops in some high yield currencies.

In short, the dollar and yen have been the notable beneficiaries. It should not be a surprise to find out, sometime soon, Japanese banks have raped themselves, yet again, by lending money to Eastern European morons. And, let’s not forget, Japanese banks fund just about everything in Asia.

So, to sum things up:

European banks and corporations will soon reveal massive levels of rapery, via South American parties gone sour . American banks do not have the exposure to Latin America, like the Euro trash. However, our corporations are sure to have chockful of forex hedges gone wrong, as we like to sell our shit abroad in size. Chinese banks are toasty. And, Korean banks are the laughing stock of the Universe.

It’s just one more chapter to the greatest financial fuck up in the history of modern finance.

UPDATE: [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-_-IKcoULE 450 300]

Wood’s favorite guy.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEV2dqojopY 450 300]

This one goes out to you small town homos.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C4VAtOF9Es&feature=related 450 300]

I bet you drug addicts thought I meant cocaine. Fucking losers.

So, here we are, rallying into the final hour. God bless.

All of my commodity stocks are booking higher, while my bank shorts rally up. Once again, I do not care where [[SKF]] goes. Providing my commodity plays book higher, the pullback in SKF is acceptable.

To clarify: my hedges are for a specific time period, not price level. I will look to take some hedges off, early next week.

I need to run along, for I am busy doing things that make me money. However, while I am gone, just know, “The Fly” hates you and will work very hard to undermine your opinions, no matter what.

NOTE: Bullish or bearish, you fuckers got to love the price levels in the oils names, especially Chevron Corporation [[CVX]] . The oil men with cash will use this weakness to acquire assets on sale. I insist, National-Oilwell Varco, Inc. [[NOV]] is ghetto cheap.

NOTE II: Shame on CNBC for their disgraceful coverage today, tossing caution to the side and cheerleading the bull case, like fucking retarded imbeciles, despite the present dangers.