Everyone is Up 10% Today But Me — FUCK YOU

You know, sometimes you’re the goat and other times just a goat. When I saw futures skyrocket last night I had wondrous visions of cocaine rallies starring myself sashaying throughout the office, ensconced in winship. I was going to be terrific, boasting and bragging about my IQ and how it permitted me to foresee the rally to come. The Era of Joe was to kick off with Le Fly gallivanting through the markets like a naked champion, chiseled, dragging a 10 inched cock.

But instead of all that, for whatever cosmic reason out there, I am getting clobbered — as if stocks were down 2,000 points. My Quant is -225bp, trading -250bps and my new LT dollar cost avg portfolio is -500bps. These are not returns you simply wash over and ignore. This is the sort of stuff that causes a man, a man such as myself, to spiral into a manic outrage — punching holes in the sheet rock, blaming random relics around the room for my misfortune.

Luckily for me, I have a great sense of humor and have discarded my ego some time ago. However, this rally is built from play dough and it looks like it will soon unravel and fuck everyone severely.

Or, it will keep fucking me, and I will lament the Era of Joe as if it were a toxic poison that needed demonic exorcism. Hopefully brighter times are ahead during this new paradigm. So far, I hate it.

This is what happens when the deep state wins.

We have a COVID-19 vaccine on two fronts today — Pfizer and also Moderna. Pfizer is actually ready to deploy by next month!

Wunderbar!

Also, since The Era of Joe is beginning, look for a major stimulus package to pass the house — and it will save everybody. We are looking at BACK TO NORMAL stocks in the real estate, airlines, and hospitality sectors up more than 20% today. Hawaiian Air is up 50%. No big deal.

On the other end of the spectrum, social distancing stocks are getting stormed, thrashed lower by 8%.

OSTK, ETSY, PTON, ZM, DOCU — all lower by 20%. Also, not a big deal. This is totally normal pin action.

The Dow is +1,200 points and most of the online brokerages have fucked the fuck down, reported outages whereby plebs are LOCKED IN, forced to bear witness to either carnage or euphoria.

Also, as a side addendum, WTI is higher by 10%, gold is -4%, and the US 10yr is +11bps to 0.93%.

In other words, we are back to normal again. Who knew all we needed to cure COVID-19 was a nice democratic election!

I moved to 100% cash, down 220bps for the session. I have since bought 6 stocks for trades. Also, my long term portfolio is down 500bps and my Quant is down 280bps, so this feeeeeeeels like a down day to me, especially since I was positioned in stocks doing well now, not so much Feb of 2020.

UPDATE: My Quant is now down 1% and LT down 2.3%. Things are broadening.

I recall thinking markets would collapse if Trump won in 2016, and I was wrong. I had to unwind my bond positions and get long to partake in the glamorous up melt. The same shit is going to happen again, because short squeeze.

Thou shalt not short stocks into Thanksgiving.

Listen to me.

THOU SHALT NOT SHORT STOCKS INTO THANKSGIVING.

Have a good evening and I’ll see you in Exodus.

It’s over Trumpanzees. The best thing you can do now, those of you who’re genuinely upset, demoralized by the spectacle of the 2020 elections, is to immerse yourselves into your own lives. Enrich yourselves and the people around you — ignore the shills and the toxic political environment that caused both the right and the left to immensely hate each other for reasons that aren’t rooted in reality, but through Madison Avenue marketing campaigns powered by fear.

Politicians are universally viewed as scum of the earth, so why waste your time and emotional reserves on a process that appears to be feckless and poisonous?

While you might believe this is something new, it’s not. It has always been bad and those in the capstone have always poured their toxic elements down onto the people for their own benefit.

So as we embark on a new era, let me remind you that markets open Monday and if we’re smart about analyzing change, we can improve our own lives and those whom we love.

The problem with civil wars is we have work on Monday.

Cheers.

For the next 4 years, secret black web message boards will assuage right wing citizenry to sit back and wait for the investigations to happen, as the good vs evil wars continue into the 2020s. The past 4 years were more or less highlighted by an investigation into Trump, via Mueller, which served to assuage the fringe left and cause them to sit quiet and wait for something to happen.

Nothing will happen. Nothing ever happens.

Meanwhile, make sure to hate each other — because MUH RACISM, MUH CENSORSHIP, MUH FREEDOM.

I made 150bps today and had an overall stellar week. By Quant was higher by nearly 100bps and my long term BOOGALOO’d higher by 270bps. I will be investing into my long term account every month for the next 3 years, 10 stocks — equal weighting.

I raised a little cash towards the end of the session. I am keeping stops tight at 5%, in order to prevent drawdowns. I amwascomfy with +150bps for the session and worked to maintain that throughout the day.

Off to tennis.

This is pure greed, but also a real cocaine rally. Under a Biden administration, all drugs will be legal, maybe. I mean, look at Oregon. The degenerates will demand drugs be decriminalized and Super Joe will come thru for the little guy, the meth-head from Scranton, and make that shit legal. After that, America will be wonderful again — festooned with puffy white clouds of cocaine, freely and effervescently flowing throughout your schools and places of business, as common place as a glass of wine.

I am back to being a CHAMPION TRADER, booking 15%+ gains in FTCH, NUGT and NET this morning. Let me explain something to you pal, this is the type of person that I am. You are who you are, meaningless drivel. But I am a Master Ace Trader (M.A.T.), the type of man who dives head first into the concrete pools and breaks the concrete instead of my head.

The Quant, Trading and my new LT dollar cost avg accounts are all flying higher between 1-2%. Markets, overall, are in the cusp of going higher, after a morning plunge. The big outliers are POT and green energy stocks — anything you can get stoned on while using the wind to power your crack pipe — is where the money is flowing.

You are in the latter stages of America, either you shut up and make some money in it or you BOOGALOO and overthrow your tyrants. Either events are totally acceptable with me. Have at it.

I cannot convince my own son how to think, so I will not even dare to attempt to tell you the difference between right and wrong. I draw no distinctions, nor do I pass judgement. Secretly, I have my opinions and I often second guess them. Over the years my opinions have changed dramatically. Like my trading, I am always adopting new ideas and trying out new theories on the truth in life. I search for the truth almost every waking hour of the day, via books, movies, online publications etc. I’ve concluded on numerous occasions the truth is almost impossible to ascertain, but happiness is eternal. It makes me happy when I am successfully trading. The very worst thing in the world would be not trading, which is why I preserve my accounts and protect them and make sure risk isn’t too high. After all, this is happiness we are talking about — not digits in an account.

Today my happiness expanded by 300bps in my trading and 600bps in my quant. My trading was especially impressive because I started out the session 70% cash and with TZA. I have since traded like a champion and ended the day at 7% cash.

Tomorrow is a new day with new adventures. See you in Exodus.

Cheers.

All stocks are up, especially Biden related green plays. I have a loooooooooooong fucking list of these stocks and have been trading in and out of these fuckers with expert precision. “The Fly” is back in his saddle shooting enemies in their faces, from a position of power. I had been slumping, but now all of that is over and the somber days of last week are behind me.

I am cock-strong today, +300bps, plus another 560bps in my quant — thanks to UPWK. I think fading this rally is always worth a shot, providing you cut losses fast. I had cut my TZA losses this morning at -5%. No sense in losing more than 5% on a hedge, since I had lost the right to own it any longer.

Today’s main takeaways are BitchCoin and Gold, both powering forward. I suspect this is because Biden is going to remove his pants inside the Oval Office and show America his cock, in the form of GIGANTIC stimulus package. We’re all going to greatly appreciate FREE MONEY, especially those amongst us who are depraved and poor — lesser quality people.

Once those checks go out, all of those low quality DNA strands will run outside and buy some malted liquor en route to their shopping mall. I know what you’re thinking, but do not concern yourselves: these nice small people will don their face masks and be very sterile as they partake in ruinous spending, further contributing to their generational poverty.

There’s a lot of unpack above and don’t hold it against me that I appear to be an awfully dark person who the blackest of humor. I simply cannot help myself. But I am working on becoming a better person!

My Twitter ban ends on Saturday, at which point I will return to that wonderful platform and truly work towards becoming a more productive member of society. Now that Biden is in office, perhaps I can de-toxify myself and fall into the bosom of the establishment shills and embrace their malevolence as a kindness to those too ignorant to think for themselves.

In short: long stocks, shitcoins, and gold.

Whenever nothing gets done in government, Wall Street falls in love again. After all, we just want to be left the fuck alone, except for the times when we need your tax dollars to save us from oblivion. Plus, it’s in your best interests, pleb, as you too have money in stocks via 401ks.

It looks like a Biden victory and the GOP gained in the house and held the Senate. So, all of those dreams of refitting 4 million buildings with windmills, or whatever the fuck the green fuckers wanted, they can now fuck right the hell off now. We have work to do in the fucking coal mines and there is nothing you or your faggot friends can do about it.

Also, the dollar is COLLAPSING today (-1%), as America heaves over like the fat piece of shit it is and readies for another $3 trillion stimulus package, handing out gibs to those who voted this election.

As a result, gold is skyrocketing and I am long NUGT. Not too fast in celebrating my victories, as I am also long TZA. You win some and then you lose.

Net net, however, I stand before you a victorious man. Futures are fucking higher with no condom, +300. There is a distinct chance short sellers will commit suicide today, as this rally takes on a hedonistic quality to it. Makes no sense, other than the fact it makes perfect sense.

Enjoy the gamma squeeze!

Part of my evolution as a human being entails being inordinately more patient with an intent of being understanding. To lose one’s ego isn’t an easy thing to do, especially if you grew up like me with a chip on your shoulder. After awhile you pick up on things, such as the root of ruin. When trading, we all know being too heavily weighted in small caps or ignoring stop losses is an expressway towards the poorhouse. In life, to become a success, it’s a lot more complex. Some of us start out way ahead, thru family or IQ, while others have intangibles like grit that powers us higher. But in almost all cases of ruin in men, excess consumption of booze is at the core, if not the primary driver, of leading a poor life.

For me, I’ve always made sure to never drink while feeling down — because I knew I would associate melancholy with a stimulant, the gateway to addiction. Now that I am attempting to get back into top shape, I quit it altogether. I did it last year for 7 months and felt fantastic.

Not eating carbs is part and parcel of healthy living, so shut the fuck up about it and stop eating pies — you fat piece of shit.

Lastly, fuck politics and fuck every single one of you who are jerking off to polling data.

For the session, I made an astounding 700bps in my new long term portfolio, instituted yesterday,+440bps in my quant, and +50bps in my trading. I am bullish on bonds, tentative to believe we have much upside, and like gold here. The obvious winners in this Biden leaning election is healthcare and China. Hunter Biden is going to be taking plenty of fucking dick pics in Beijing, under a Super Joe administration.