Warning: SKF is Broken

I will probably take a stab at it, below $90. For some reason, people love bank/brokerages again.

Why fight it?

After all, they just reported the most horrendous set of numbers I’ve ever seen, in my 31 years of existence—yet they trade up.

In my opinion, LAZ looks the best for a trade, right now.

In other news, MVIS is climbing today. As promised, I will start to follow the company with greater vigor, during the 2nd half of 2008. Providing they are on track, I will buy some shares.

I’m starting to buy HANS again. Its been a long time since “The Fly” went long, the Godly maker of the worlds best soda pop: Monster Energy Soda.

If only the ungodly cost of production and trucking can go down, HANS would be rocking right now. Nonetheless, they are a premium brand in a booming world, for both KO and PEP. I do not think anyone would be surprised to see a $50 bid from either company.

Chinese lottery stocks continue to impress. Today’s winners are: GSI, GU, SEED, SOHU, NOEC, EFUT, EJ, JRJC, NTES, GSOL, SNDA and WX.

However, keep in mind, towards the end of every rally, the shit floats to the top.

Speaking of shit, “crap handed” energy stocks are running, specifically SYNM, TMY, BEXP and FPP.

My favorite crap roll in the sector is OMNI.

Top pick: LAZ

I sold 10,000 MER @ $49.78.

I’m likely to be less brave, the closer we get to the Fed meeting. Considering how much the market has sprinted in recent weeks, I do not want to be left holding the bag, should Bernanke and Co. displease Mother Market.

So, all recent purchases may get blown out, in order to raise cash and limit market exposure.

It’s worth noting, if “The Fly” had not got his balls blown off in his short positions, he would not be this cautious.

Either way you slice it, ag plays are done. POT, MON and MOS are yesterdays newspaper. I will cover my POT short, under $100.

Finally, I will be taking profits on MER and UYG, up at these levels. And, I will hold LAZ, HANS and WB, for greater upside.

CTRP is not done going up. And, SNCR is a piece of shit. Six out of 7 isn’t too bad.

iBankCoin Presents

ELECTIONS

UPDATE: The Godly folks over at iBC have retained the services of Dinosaur Trader, for the May 6th elections. He will be live blogging the elections here, giving you all the “play by play,” one precinct at a time.

NOTE: He will be paid a very handsome sum of money to perform this duty.

UPDATE II: The candidates will be buying airspace on iBC shortly, in order to beg for your votes.

The candidates that will replace Gunners are being sorted through, “as we speak.” Last minute applicants will be denied, unless of course you know “The Fly” personally.

The elections will be set for May 6th, 2008—the same day the retards go vote for Obama or Clinton in Indiana.

Until then, I expect there will be some “campaigning” in the Peanut Gallery.

Remember, it is a one day poll, scheduled for May 6th, that will determine who will join the Godly folks over at iBC—tab, revenue split and all.

NOTE: Tabbed bloggers do not receive excess coke.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-ousNF7scg 450 300]

All day, I gleefully kicked old men down empty elevator shafts. As you know, old men are bears. “The Fly” is neither old or bearish. As a matter of fact, he is young and bullish—who drinks large quantities of Monster Energy soda and eats massive amounts of greasy chicken wings.

In case you are worried, “The Fly” has a rapid metabolism, which enables him to do such egregious things, without him looking like a fucking meatball.

It’s time to buy [[HANS]] again. I’ll have you know, “The Fly” is Lord Supreme Commander of Hansen Naturals share price and has made truckloads of newly minted euros trading it.

For the summer, I will be going long HANS, in large quantities, and milking those who bet against it.

Also, I threw a few dice at the table, buying [[OMNI]] and [[LEH]].

Frankly, the financials are where money will flock, as everything else “appears” to be pricey. Look for good balance sheets and huge short positions as fuel for your fire.

I’ll have you know, over the weekend, “The Fly” will be grilling sword steaks and 2 1/2 inch thick rib eyes, in anticipation of future Godly market gains.

I’m out.

UPDATE: Before I left, I bought the lazy fuckers from [[LAZ]]

I bought 5,000 [[HANS]] @ 33.35, 10,000 [[OMNI]] @ $5.04 and 1,000 [[LEH]] @ $47.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your local oil driller will spill oil in your local water supply. And, you may lose money.

Let’s face it already. Oil is not going to $225 by 2012, like that Oppenheimer analyst predicted. It’s going to $400 by 2010!

Nothing will stop the transfer of wealth, from west to east. Know that and understand your stupid existence is gay. There is nothing you or your meaningless friends can do about it.

So, why not profit off the death of the car?

Short [[GM]] or [[F]]?

Betting against automobile makers, especially American, seems to be a cogent long term investment strategy. Or, sell short [[CLMT]], producer of jet fuel. As you know, all airlines go to zero.

On the long side, just own [[RIG]], [[NOV]] and other oil drilling plays. However, own the big ones. The smaller players get phased out, eventually.

Also, there is a whole list of oil plays that never trade lower, like [[ARD]], [[CWEI]] and [[OXY]].

Then you have the natural gas stocks. Personally, I hate natty. We have an unlimited amount of that shit. Any spike in natty is a result of pure manipulation. Regardless, stocks like [[CHK]], [[SWN]], [[ECA]] and [[UPL]] have enriched their shareholders this year.

However, seeing the fervor in natty, I am not against scalping a few trades.

My watch list includes:

Separate from oil, I think [[LFC]] and [[CHL]] are too extended at these levels. In other words, long [[CTRP]] and [[FXP]] works for me.

“The Fly” was somewhat concerned that the “deflationary pressures,” brought on by the Fed’s tight monetary policy, might suck the oil producers dry—sending a barrel of oil under a mind numbing $115—until today.

Indeed, those pesky little Iranian fuckers, with their boats, must be taught a lesson.

I propose a full scale invasion, led by a battalion of internet bloggers and retired attorneys.

As you can see by now, all of “The Fly’s” recent moves have been masterful. All of my new banking stocks are up, while the nefarious bastards from China see their stocks trade down—allowing [[FXP]] to reinflate.

However, at the same time, [[CTRP]] is up!

A glorious day awaits “The Fly,” sometime soon.

For now, I am a big bull on all banks. [[AXP]] had kickass numbers, so will everyone else.

Remember, the more money the banks lose—the better.

Top pick: CTRP