Don’t Believe the UBS Rumors

There is no fucking way the protectionists in Switzerland will allow HSBC to buy [[UBS]]. No-fucking-way.

First off, foreign acquisitions are very rare in Switzerland, especially within their prized banking sector. In addition to protectionism, they have a myriad of tax laws that will make such a deal, very prohibitive.

UBS is a fucking icon. It will not be bought by HSBC. Write it down.

With the market bouncing here, I covered a lot of shorts, namely in [[CSE]], [[EWBC]] and [[FED]]. However, at the same time, I added to a few shorts, namely [[FMBI]] and [[WFSL]], while initiating an erroneous position in [[EEV]].

Basically, I couldn’t help myself. I felt the market would bounce, as you know via the previous article; but, I shorted stock anyway.

Fucking moron.

The market is bouncing here, led by the financials; but oil is down. Go figure.

Into this weakness, I want to buy [[RIG]], [[PCZ]] and [[FTK]]. Also, I want to sell short the bank, after a 5-10% run.

As you know, the banks are being buoyed by UBS, [[BCS]], [[WFC]], [[WB]], [[COF]], [[AXP]] and [[GS]].

For now, it’s a bounce—nothing more—nothing less.

Until proven otherwise, this rally is to be met with egregious sell tickets.

Top pick: short FMBI

“The Fly” wins again, even when he appears to be losing badly.

I sold short 5,000 [[WFSL]] @ $19. And, I sold short 3,000 [[FMBI]] @ $19.80.

UPDATE: I sold short 5,000 FMBI @ $19.50

UPDATE II: I sold short 2,000 FMBI @ $20.35

Disclaimer: If you sell short the above names because of this post, you will get car jacked. And, you may lose money.

I bought 2,000 [[EEV]] @ $77.05. And, I bought 1,000 [[RIG]] @ $152.96.

Disclaimer: If you buy EEV or RIG because of this post, your only son will join Al Qaeda. And, you may lose money.

If the bulls want to make a statement, they need to rally the market today. However, there are many headwinds in their way, specifically end of quarter fuckery.

Once again, fund managers will start window dressing, selling off losers, while loading up on winners. Expect the ag/energy related names to hold firm, while financials drift lower—specifically regional banks.

See, the regionals are fucked every which way but loose. No one really cares about them. The Fed is concerned with the big money centers and brokerage houses. Bernanke could give two flying fucks and a gay horse about [[FMBI]] or [[EWBC]].

Right out of the gates, I covered my [[CSE]] short, for an egregious gain. It really doesn’t matter how much lower it goes from here. The point is, I had a gameplan and I am adhering to it.

Let me tell you something, quit pebbling me with [[MVIS]] questions. I’m in the name for a trade, nothing more. So fuck off.

Right here, I want to wait an hour or two, prior to my next big move. Barring a rally, I’m going to lean on the fuckers from [[HRB]], [[FMBI]], [[PACW]] and [[CYN]].

I cannot find stock available to short [[EWBC]].

In addition, I like tech here, as a short—via [[REW]].

Once again, this is the perfect rally day for the bulls, so be on guard.

On the long side, I like [[RIG]], [[PCZ]] and MVIS.

I covered my [[CSE]] short, buying 15,000 @ $11.21. I covered some of my [[EWBC]] short, buying 20,000 @ $7.10.

Idiocy.

CapitalSource prices its offering of 30.0 mln common shares at $11.00/share

On the matter of idiocy, [[CSE]] is trying to close on a deal to buy Fremont General in bankruptcy. Who is Fremont General, you ask? An egregious underwriter of mortgages in the God forsaken state of California. So, after the stock knifes lower by 30% in a week, the company dilutes its shareholders by 10%.

Wonderful clusterfucks.

At the time of this post, “The Fly” was short CSE.

I just sold short 100,000 shares of Jeremy @ $22 and 100,000 shares of Woodshedder @ $0.73.

At the time of this post, “The Fly” was long 1 million Ragin Cajun @ $350 and 500,000 Alphadawg @ $155. He has no position in “Danny,” which happens to be trading a notch under $1.

NOTE: My IQ is much higher than yours.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5xt6IhWONs 450 300]

The egregious powers of “The Fly” are strengthening by the minute. He is fighting many battles on numerous fronts, and winning on all of them.

In other words, “The Fly” is Godzilla and everyone else is Japan.

During today’s tape, I made massive quantities of coin, while heavily caffeinated, on short [[CSE]], short [[EWBC]], short [[FED]], short [[CYN]], long [[RIG]] and long [[NOV]]—just to name a few.

I gave back a little in my [[HRB]] short; but that’s okay. I have lots of firing power. My ammunition drawer is filled with nuclear bomb grenades and mustard gas. Fuck around, I’ll throw some mustard gas in your face.

As an aside, it appears the banks are sliding down the sloppy slippery slope of sloth. I suspect we will see many more dilutive capital raises, to go with egregious writedowns, almost immediately.

“The Five Reverse Horseman” of death and fun had a splendid day, as did most regional banks.

Towards the end of the day, I started a short position in [[FMBI]], and added to my [[REW]] position. In short, with such an ugly tape, there is no fucking way tech will skirt the selling programs.

Eventually, the pain will become too great for money managers, forcing them to raise cash. When this happens, I suspect REW will sprint to $65.