A September to Forget

Ireland bailed out their big stupid bank with monopoly money. That bailout, when scaled up to our size, is worth 4 trillion dollars. Had that news come out 2 months ago, the Irish would be throwing fire bombs in Dublin, trying to kill off their government. No, none of that would be had in the gentrified month of September, 2010. Instead, we get rallies upon rallies.

I just got back to the office, as I was out all day conducting business—if you must know. Looking at the market now, I see nothing was missed. Big rally. Failed rally. False breakdown. Get your popcorn ready.

NFLX, JCP, JWN, IVN, BIDU, CNH and LINTA all popped more than 30% in September. MCP and FNSR soared more than 50%. Folks, the market is as gay as a three legged statue of Liberace, with all of them diamonds and shit on it. Do not pretend to understand; just move on.

As for me, I managed to miss out on one of the coolest melt ups in the history of the stock market. I did take some bullets to the chest, through VXX/TZA positions. However, for the most part, damage was contained due to asset allocation weightings. Going into October, I carry the same bullshit that gave spastic strokes in September (full position sheet inside The PPT). Some of you call it madness. I consider my dedication to be religious. Don’t fuck with my religion, else I’ll go Ireland on your candy asses.

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This guy is pretty good. Always objective, unlike most of you bullshitters.

[YOUtUBE:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b9ONaeiC_yg&feature=youtube_gdata_player 616 500]

What’s your number?

[YouTube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Humfsis-QLI&feature=youtube_gdata_player 616 500]

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Do not be silly, small pleb. The market is not going lower, nor the shares of NFLX—ever. Thanks to QE2, the Taliban has surrendered and Osama Bin Laden killed himself, via rpg to the face. Fighting the BEARDED CLAM is simply too hard. The world, as we know it, has changed forever. Remember, stock prices are always attractive, no matter the price. FFIV, AKAM, CRM, AAPL, BIDU and friends will bring about a new renaissance, not seen since the go-go days of the late 90’s.

I know some of you were annoyed by some breaking news story, regarding JPM and fraud. Please, ignore all stories, as QE2 is about to commence. For the record, QE2 does not like when you sell securities.

As for me, I am plagued with a disruptive mental disorder. Therefore, I cannot and will not be held responsible for my own actions, which are many. Thus, I initiated a long position in FXY, with the hopes and prayers that the great country of Japan will capitulate and swim in its own feces. Aside from that, if you haven’t noticed, I’ve given up trading stocks. I’ve been waiting for some semblance of a retreat, much to chagrin of my daily account balances.

Oil spiked today, as well as small cap equities. Prepare for the continuation of “September Surge,” first thing tomorrow morning.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq-NShfefks&p=59E10A90561B4AE4&playnext=1&index=21 616 500]

Top picks: psychotropics

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I’ve come to embrace this melt-up and now find myself rooting against myself. Life simply isn’t fulfilling without NFLX, FFIV, CRM, CMG and AMZN trading higher. I want the highest prices possible, for all stocks, particularly those with PE ratios north of 40. If you find yourself catching pinless hand grenades inside of a murderhole, resurrect yourself and transform into an asshole dip buyer. It’s pretty simple. Join the party and piss on those who think the market is expensive.

With the Bearded Clam on your side, you can’t lose. No point in “fighting the Fed,” while there are plenty of easier fuckers to fight.

Looking at today’s tape, I see nothing but green pastures, littered with daises and lavender. For some oddball reason, banks are trading down this morning. However, from what I gather, banks are no long used in America. Therefore, the market can go up without them.

Haters drinking haterade.

In closing, life is all about HPQ ripping out your long position at a 55% premium. Don’t hate the player; hate the game.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca3hhFfFH-k 616 500]

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I am happy to report, “The Fly” has won the honor of being named “Best Blogger of the Year Award,” by the good folks over at Blogger Institute For Finance (B.I.F.F.) Naturally, the process was democratic, with the BIFF delegates casting anonymous ballots, choosing from 99 finance bloggers, worldwide.

Here are some of the results:

1. “The Fly” (iBankCoin) 77%

2. Big Picture (10%)

3. Zero Hedge (8%)

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56. HOWARD LINDZON (1/2%)

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99. Reformed Broker (1/32%)

Once again, congratulations to “The Fly” for winning this years BIFF award.

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If I hear any more shit, regarding “The September Surge,” I will find you and split your head in four parts. I’ll go QCOM 4 for 1 on your asses, without regard for personal injury. The market is simply testing my staying power, by way of perpetual, yet insidious, daily melt ups. Little does Mother Market know, “The Fly” can hold his breath a long, long time. I’m the type of guy that is willing to die for a cause, providing it is a cause only reserved for a gentleman. From my vantage point, this is a most distinguished task, one that cannot and will not be underwritten by the likes of you.

I reckon, you are far better off obtaining the friendship of a Mr. James Cramer, than emailing “The Fly” with money management requests. For the last time, small plebs, “The Fly” is not accepting new money. Moreover, even if “The Fly” was down to his last nickel, he’d never accept clients from the internets. Let it be known. Let it be archived: I have my own fucking money. Fuck you very much.

Back to the subject of perpetual mark-ups: do you think that it bothers me? On the surface, it vexes me to the point I am stroking out, like a fucking retard on a life endangering insane roller-coaster ride, doing loops. However, deep down, I don’t give a fuck. Next thing you know, POOF, “The Fly” is in Mexico City doing shots, hanging out with first rate idiots. This stock market business that you speak of is simply child’s play. My near term focus is to raise enough private capital to sink my enemies, simply out of spite. You do not know what I speak of; therefore, I will say no more.

At the end of the day, the market is all about pricing and timing. Sometimes my pricing is off. Other times my timing is off. On Jupiter’s stone and the eyes of my future great grandchildren, your pricing is completely and utterly wrong.

Good night to you and farewell.

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Dollar/SPY (intra-day)

That pretty much says it all.  The dollar fell hard and the indices ripped higher. Breadth went from horrid to terrific. If you slept in today, long equities, you woke up to more of the same. Unbeknownst  to you,  AAPL was down 15 at the bell. Here is my specific issue with chasing this rally:

The market is going up on the back of technology shares. Agreed? For the most part, oil and banks have been quiet to weak. There has been strength in the industrial names. But, for the most part, tech has stolen the show.

SYMBOL    FPE    P/S
BIDU    49.00    55.00
VMW    38.00    18.00
ARMH    24.00    17.00
FFIV    20.00    13.00
AMT    49.00    12.00
CRM    75.00    12.00
AKAM    15.00    11.00
RHT    35.00    10.00
CTXS    20.00    8.00
MELI    44.00    19.00
CAVM    54.00    13.00
APKT    25.00    17.00
NETL    23.00    10.00
ARUN    23.00    10.00

Essentially, if I was to buy into nasdaq related stocks now, I will be ignoring the lessons learned 10 years ago, during the dot com bubble of 2000. Am I exaggerating? Absolutely not. Unlike 1999-2000, this economy cannot support those exorbitant valuations. You cannot make gold from shit, no matter how hard you try. We are priced for perfection. Should we deviate from perfection, you will see the floor removed from bids and share prices will plummet.

When will this happen?

No idea. I read some report, from the blowhards at Goldman,  calling for S&P 740 by 2011. To me, that’s fucking laughable, on a hysterical trend. But, it’s worth noting, Wall Street is hurting right now. I know you are seeing something different. But, where this shit all starts, people are about to lose their jobs again. What Wall Street needs are some frothy ipo’s, in order to showcase our shit to the public again. It’s not surprising to read Joe Public has pulled all of his money out of the stock market, in exchange for the mattress. This shit is too hard, unless of course you have the proclivity to be one directional in nature. I mean, if you are permanently bullish, you are absolutely killing the market right now. On the flipside of that coin, those same people will end up bearing the brunt of the future pullback, if that shit ever happens.

At the end of the day, clearing all the smoke and shattering all of the mirrors, I am simply asking for better valuations, before allocating fresh capital. Is that too much to ask? What would my excuse be, if the market suddenly dropped 1,000 points from current levels, caught long the above stocks? I suppose I could tell my clients “hey, those stocks were awesome, just prior to their demise.” The bottom line, as much as it pains me to miss out on the fun, I have a fiduciary responsibility to be cautious, when valuations get out of whack. Moreover, with year to date gains close to 28% (down from 40%), I am better off waiting, than playing with the proverbial nuclear tipped Jack in the Box.

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I can’t do the sour grapes thing anymore, for I will become what I loathe most. Yes, the market is manipulated. That shit did not just happen today. I am sure the market has always been manipulated. What’s important to note, however, is the sudden absence of the shadows near my favorite urinal. I am not sure if they went on vacation (likely to Paris) or moved out; but they’re not there anymore.

I’m pretty much amazed/stunned by today’s turn around. We went from a frown, all very sad and gloomy, and we turned it upside down.

As I speak, traders on the NYSE are doing lines of blow off vintage Beatles records and the executive producer of CNBC is jacking off to his intra-day ratings. Back at the banks, as evidenced by MS, executives are pondering what the fuck all the fuss is about, as their trading turrets have been sucking dick for months. Nonetheless, rainbows and gay giraffes descend on Wall Street, thanks to the Bearded Clam and his trusty sidekick, Prezident O’Bama.

Never again will America need to endure a recession, for they have been made illegal. Never again will 401k and 403(b) participants fear their monthly statements. Never again will Americans need to work or pay for their mortgages (okay, just a little sour grapes).

In other news, it appears RARE EARTH plays, MCP and REE, are taking the day off. What a shame. Look forward to their Earth, as opposed to the shit you walk on, to be back in play—first thing tomorrow morning.

I will do a market wrap up later aka whenever the fuck I get around to it.

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Wow, there is no doubt that robots are fucking with this market. Some of you can pull up some intra-day charts and see what the fuck I am talking about. Following really, really weak economic data, the markets began to drop. The dollar was firm, gold was weak, treasuries were great, breadth was horrible. Basically, it looked like a down day in the making.

Then, out of nowhere, the dollar plunged, gold soared and breadth improved dramatically. Believe me, I watch this shit like a hawk and it NEVER changes this quickly, without news. I’d rather not devolve this conversation any further by declaring “the market is rigged.” However, it certainly is fishy.

Right away, high beta stocks are responding to the buy programs, pushing shares of FFIV, VMW and AKAM higher. God and Santa Claus know how much I hate AKAM.

Bottom line: if you asked me 15 minutes ago “can we rally today?” I’d say “fuck no, go get me a coffee.” However, the way things are lining up now: absolutely.

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Indignant malcontents.

I have been blogging stocks for over 4 years, gifting you dick suckers with coin making ideas/ family style entertainment. In exchange for my graciousness, you pepper these holy grounds with backward commentary.

Over the past 4 years, my investment style has evolved tremendously. Long ago, I was something of a gunslinger, like you. I’d rattle off 50 trades per day, which in turn led to sky rocketing blood pressure and a temperament that made Archie Bunker look like a nice guy. Times have changed.

I’m much more focused on mean reversion, asset allocation and beating the livers out of conventional wisdom, instead of following the herd. If you are interested in being in a herd, get the fuck off my site, for I loathe people who are unable to think out of the box.

JBL warned. They are the largest maker of CSCO routers, being a very large contract manufacturer. And, KBH warned: big fucking deal.

Ultimately, the market will bend to fundamentals. You just need staying power and clever asset allocation to make it through the process.

One final note: Japanese intervention is failing.

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