18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
The overly dramatic are getting theatrical again, demanding tragedy in the form of a stock market calamity. Oil simply pisses on their heads, from above, as they recite diatribes of gluttonous speculation.
In accordance with the irrefutable LAWS (THEY ARE FUCKING LAWS GOD DAMN IT) of Turkey, the stock market SHALL NOT decline. Just because you want it to go down doesn’t mean that it will. I look at my position in LULU and laugh at the valuation. But, as sure as I am sitting here, it will trade higher and I will make money in it.
Eventually, logic will permeate the market phalanx, leading to a most disastrous drop.
AAPL shits on your decline. BAC snores through your bank run.
I am not content with things, as my progress has been stunted with moronic volatility. We go way the fuck up, then way the fuck down. I’d be better off playing cards with ChessnWine in Vegas, than making long term directional bets here. First I thought we’d go up, then down, then up, then down, now up. I’m sure I will change my mind about 50 times from now until X-Mas. But that’s my style. I am very malleable when it comes to market direction. I look back at my blogs and chuckle at them, due to the psychopathic nature of my moods. Trust me when I tell you, my emotional moving average is a lot more stable in the real world. It’s this virtual shit that drives me bananas.
But let’s face facts now, shall we? Stocks are stubborn and oil will not go down. There is something cooking and it is never good for the bears. They are the punching bag of policy makers and I am sure some egregious plan is been concocted, as we speak, for the explicit purposes of depleting their resources.
At any rate, I could be wrong; but I doubt it. Betting against Le Fly has led to numerous bankruptcies and property foreclosures. If you are feeling full of pomp, step right up and take a swing. It’s only your money, respect and dignity that’s at stake.
Even though the market deserves a 3,000 point single day drop, thanks to the prospect of, umm, fucking France defaulting on their debt, the market is yawning it out with a 20 point dip. If you are a bear, your balls are firmly placed in a vise. Soon enough, the dumbest news will turn the handles of said vise until…
I am sick of hearing myself talk.
This is what I am doing:
(crickets)
Long absurd amount of gold and silver, living the life, cooler than a cucumber.
On Sunday I was looking for “The Godfather of all Short Squeezes” and now I’m expecting “BROKEN ELEVATOR” trading “pin-action.” Why? Because this is retardoville, where life is stupid and nothing makes sense.
French 10 year yields are officially in the danger zone, +7% to 3.67% this morning. Wait, it gets better!
Italy +4.2% to 6.98%.
Spain +3.4% to 6.3%
Belgium +7.8% to 4.95%!
This is all too quaint for me to take in all at once. There is no way Europe gets out of this one. This is the “figure four leg lock” of bond squeezes. The wolves are clever animals. Instead of focusing their efforts on Italy and outliers like the homosexuals in Portugal, they went to the source and fucked them–France.
It’s so hilarious.
Prepare for zero bids and loose talk of insolvency. Over the past 5 years, Unicredit made over $60 billion in acquisitions. They just reported a fucking write-down of $14 billion+. ROFL. Meatballs.
At any rate, the end game, no matter what, will be the printing of magic money. Therefore, the gold/silver trade is as relevant as ever. There are no safe currencies, despite what that psychopath Bill Ackman believes, with regards to the Hong Kong dollar.
All day long the idiots on CNBC were making light of the Congressional insider trading report. Fuck that. By turning it into something comedic, you take away the guillotine option. Most of you know of my disdain for the Occupy Wall Street crowd. But do you know why?
I think they are a fucking joke, nothing more than government hacks, modern day brown shirts for the democrat party. Plus, they’ve elected to be homeless vagrants and I like soap.
But this insider trading story hones in on everything that is wrong with our government. They are corrupt– all of them. Anyone who participates in the two party system is corrupt, end of story. These bastards are pointing fingers at Goldman and other Wall Street firms for business practices, while profiting from insider knowledge of non-public information. In other words, hedge fund managers get 11 years in prison for the same crimes that are LEGAL for the degenerates in Congress.
How is that fair?
They are the fattest of the fat cats. These little men were buying short term calls and puts in the midst of the 2008 crisis to profit from the news-flow that they were dictating.
My point: The morons from CNBC should stop laughing and making jokes about this topic. They are real quick to throw hedge fund managers under the bus, with ominous “BREAKING NEWS” broadcasts. But when congress does it, big titted idiots crack jokes. Fuck that.
The market went down today and I lost some money. I am very sorry that I cannot make money every single day like the rest of you “winners.” But don’t worry, my Mother is an elected official and I’m gonna ask her for some privileged information later on tonight.
Top picks: AKS, OMX, EXK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWGOaqEBnlw&feature=related
Food for thought. Who is the evil party in this whole crisis story? Is it the people who want Europe to declare insolvency and restructure? Or, is the people who wish to “extend and pretend” through artificially propping up failed governments and institutions, which in turn hurt the people through caused inflation and harsh austerity?
The knee-jerk opinion is to declare Bernanke an evil genius, one who is interested in slaughtering poor people via starvation. However, if Ben allows the financial system to collapse, how does that help Joe Shmoe, working at the bus depot making 45k per annum? Without intervention, deflation on a massive scale will hit, which will drive prices down. On the surface, this sounds fantastic. But what will happen to margins? Everything will be CRUSHED, including stocks.
Corporations will lay off workers and the reduction of cost of goods will become a moot point, since no one will be able to afford them anyway.
The big winners will be the people who saved for a rainy day. You know that $750k house you’ve been eying? You’ll be able to buy it at $550k with a 3.5% 30 year mortgage.
On the flip-side, if we continue the path of quantitative easing, commodities will rise and our shitty banks will still withhold capital, since they are effectively insolvent and useless. Couple that with fucktarded government OVER-regulation, the price of housing isn’t going anywhere but flat to down in the foreseeable future. Stocks will outperform and 8-10% unemployment will be “the new normal.”
My point: this is not an easy problem to deal with.
While talking shit on the internet, everyone seems to be an expert. It’s easy to second guess the actions of community organizers partaking in 4 wars and a great recession. But his job sucks dick, no? I do not envy anyone in power. However, I do wish to profit from their mistakes.
It is as clear as America’s collective cholesterol levels: policy makers are committed to an reflationary response. As much as you pine for Germany to walk away from the presses and invade Greece for sport, it isn’t going to happen. The path of least resistance, especially for professional politicians who harbor not one iota of nationalistic pride, is to “extend and pretend.” If that’s the case, ask yourself, what asset class will be the big winner in such an egregious scenario?
Once you figure it out and come to grips with reality, like I have, you will be able to invest freely, without a care in the world–for time, in every sense of the word, is on your side.
French, Spanish, Italian and Belgium 10 yr yields are rising again today. Yet, the market reaction is “meh”, as traders go about their days as if nothing was wrong. Theoretically, a total collapse in Europe “should not” affect the US too greatly, if it weren’t for our fucking banks. Then again, we’ll get lit up by the irrefutable laws of 6 degrees of separation. If Europe collapses, so will demand for Chinese shit in Europe. Once China gets hit, so will everyone.
Despite what the war hawks in the GOP say about America, the 21st century belongs to China, until we fucking attack them and enslave their people in FOXCONN factories. Oh wait, we already do that. Nevermind.
The dollar is climbing, TLT is ripping, crack spreads are collapsing and Marc Cuban is talking shit about hackers (CHINESE BURRITOS) who are publicly traded and how the stock market is for idiots. In many respects, Marc is correct. If you are reading this post, you probably are a big fan of stocks, as am I. The market is my passion. I suppose deep down I enjoy the torture and the drama, like some sort of kitchen bitch. But don’t put all of your money in stocks. I have less than 50% of my liquid net worth in stocks. As a matter of fact, much to my tax attorneys chagrin, I do not contribute to my 401k or an IRA. The way I see it, I want my money liquid, just in case I need to take my shit and go. I do not like the idea of locking my money up, just to benefit from some stupid tax write-offs.
No thanks.
Out of all my positions today, GSVC , EXK and OMX look best.
The Turkey Gods have spoken to me and they demand delivery of bear sauce by the close of trading on Friday.
I tell you this with a heavy heart for my bear friends will soon perish under the weight of clawhammers.
The Italian crisis that was destined to destroy humanity (lol) has been averted through magic. The magicians have decided it’s better to create an illusion of safety and security instead of dying at the bottom of a collapsed mountain.
As for me, I’ll be heavily profiteering through my enormous silver and gold positions, now constituting more than 40% of total assets. I have just 10% cash left and find myself at the beaks of the Gods. I don’t have faith in much, as I’ve concluded long ago fairy tales are better suited for bedtime or men who root for paid athletes. However, I do not fuck with the Saucerors of Stuffing, especially when the world has everything to lose and nothing to gain from inaction.
My YTD gains stand at 15% and I intend to press them into the face of Santa’s big stupid sleigh.
On this joyous day (iBC’s 4th birthday), I will share some of the details of my beginning into the disgusting world of blogging.
Before FlyonWallStreet, I used to mess around with political commentary and news. I was naive to the world and thought the republican party was God’s private club. It just so happens, the republicans are fucktards, just like the democrats.
Moving on.
I had moderate success doing it, even landing a top story headline on Drudge. My commentary once became the centerpiece of Michael Savage’s monologue and during the 2004 Presidential elections my web traffic was double of what iBankCoin gets on a daily basis.
The only problem: it was interfering with my business of managing money. I was so caught up in the bullshit, my business suffered. Well, by most standards, my business was great. But I knew it could do better.
So one day I decided to quit blogging. That was that. My wife was happy and so were my friends. Nothing is more annoying than some ideologue sharing “political wisdom.”
About a year later, I had an itch to start a new site. A fellow coworker of mine was a fairly successful financial website operator and it got my wheels turning. If I blogged about stocks, my productivity wouldn’t suffer and I could write again, something that was ingrained in my genes (I am related to a world famous writer, who happens to be dead now).
It was settled. I was going to launch another website and talk shit to the world.
My first site was idiotic. I designed it myself and I didn’t know anything about web design or programming. Aside from Jeremy the IT guy, no one knows about my first financial site. I posted my picks and linked to some news. There was no real commentary, aside from Briefing.com style notes.
At the time, Jim Cramer was a huge hit with Mad Money. It was a new type of show and everyone was sucking his dick. So, I started a blog that summarized Jim’s picks and commentary. Needless to say, within a few short months, it took off. Then, I launched FOWS blog with my business partner. The idea behind the site was to copy and paste our instant messages to one another, as we traded.
This platform was met with moderate interest from people who wanted to read the true, unvarnished, thoughts of real Wall Street money managers. The only problem with that idea was my partner. He was a fucking lunatic and didn’t want to “waste time” posting bullshit on some “stupid fucking blog.” Shortly after he quit the blog, I broke up our partnership.
Okay, so the Cramer site was still running and people loved it. The FOWS blog was all but dead. However, I knew it would be revamped soon, allowing me to discuss stocks and write. How did I know this? Well, I knew Cramer’s people would freak the fuck out one day and demand that I stop writing about him. I was not only right; I was exactly right.
His lawyers sent me a cease and desist letter, demanding that I stop posting Jim’s shit. I posted a copy of the email to the site and informed my readers I was shutting it down, but would continue blogging at FOWS.
Surprisingly, about 75% of my Cramer readers made the switch and I was off to a running start, garnering about 500 page views per day. Now we do 50-60,000.
The rapid success of FOWS is a whole ‘nother story. I will talk about it next year, on iBC’s 5th birthday.
Tomorrow is the 4th birthday for iBankCoin. For those of you who are new here, the journey originated from the time when I was blogging on some bullshit blogspot site.
It all started when “Jeremy the IT guy”, and Co-founder of iBankCoin, emailed me for some good book tips. Jeremy was in college and was interested in learning more about stocks. After a few months of back and forth and firing him from guest blogging on FOWS for posting gangster rap bullshit (that was my thing back then, hiring bloggers for the weekends and firing them on Sunday night), I proposed we mock TheStreet.com with a site that looked just like theirs, only orange.
After some back and forth, Jeremy agreed.
As far as compensation went, he was given a choice: 1. get paid by the hour for work done on iBC. 2. get paid nothing, but get a significant share of the newly formed company. He chose the latter and it was a wise decision.
Through the years, the site has undergone numerous design changes and content as well. We started off with just me, Woodshedder and Danny. Then Ragin’ Cajun came onboard. Shortly after him, Jakegint decided to convert himself from prolific commenter to tabbed blogger. We held elections to replace departing blogger “Gunners” and Alphadawg won. However, truth be told, we were forced to hack that poll for him due to the insidious manipulation of our polling system by none other BEAS.
Other bloggers who have donned the iBC armor include: Chart Addict, Coach Coffee, Henry Fool, Chuck Bennett, Gio and The Analyst Bomber. I may have missed one or two.
I brought Scott Bleier onboard after having lunch with him at The Four Seasons. I remember seeing Scott on the teevee when I was a young punk in the brokerage business. When we bumped into each other on Twitter, I knew he had to write for the site.
ChessnWine won his tab by defeating Caine Thaler in an election. Both Chess and Caine defeated all other contestants on iBC. The final vote was held inside The PPT and Chess won.
Caine won The King of the Peanut Gallery award more than anyone else in iBC history, due to his supreme command of the English language. Eventually, I offered Caine a tab because I knew he had earned one.
Cronkite used to blog under another name “GW.” And he used to post news under a different format. But it wasn’t successful, so I canceled it. After I launched The Financial News Network, it made perfect sense to put him in charge of it. He has done a terrific job.
Running a site is not easy. There are always #TECHISSUES and people are dicks. Personalities clash and I am not an easy person to deal with. Plus, so many of you out there are assholes. To date, we’ve banned over 1,100 fuckfaces who have disrespected the house that is iBankCoin. I ban people because they are dishonorable. Remember, iBC is my home. When you walk into my home by commenting, you are my guest. Should you choose to disrespect me in my home, I am going to pick you up by the collar and kick you out.
At any rate, I am very happy with the progress of the site, with traffic up 10 fold since 2007. We are on the cusp of launching a new site soon, which has nothing to do with content, however. Jeremy has come along way in developing his skills. He is an incredible programmer. Oh, I’d also like to thank Gappingandyapping for helping us with our servers. We could not have moved over to the cloud without him. He is a true friend of the site and is cordially invited to next years annual iBC dinner.
In closing, I intend to destroy all of the other financial sites out there. I know who you fucking are and your content is shit. Your advice is garbage and your grammar is atrocious.
Be well.
Did you know? Aside from the original staff of Woodshedder and Danny, iBC had another blogger named Mr. Bilderberg. He lasted only two weeks. His name was HOWARD LINDZON.
