BREAKING NEWS: “The Fly” Wins Again, Fuck Face

I don’t know how I continue to do it–but I do. Shorts got poleaxed today with goblin rakishness. Despite an early set-back in OSG, having sold my entire position between $4.8 to $5.01 for a 27% loss, I swung the boat around, transformed it into an airplane, then proceeded to bomb fuckers with 100% napalm.

Fire streamed out from my cannons with energetic barbarity, graffitiing the faces of the meek with grawlix, discarding them in the streets with the dirt and the raw feces.

I surged ahead by a recourd 4.2% today, cocaine laced with CLF, DDD, FFIV, TC, NAK, APKT etc.–offsetting Mr’s Fly’s penchant for profligacy.

In light of the CNBC coverage for the superannuated fucktard who is long only bank stocks, I’d like to maintain an air of formality here. As always, I will be providing a full break down of the days events inside of The PPT parlour. I’d also like you to know, as well as understand, that I am made from oak, possessor of time machina and space cannon (OSC)–demonstrator of “ox-like” strength in the market place.

To the bedevilment of my detractors, I close out the day just under my all-time highs.

Top picks: CLF, DDD

Asshat!

I realize that your network panders to self-aggrandizing CEO’s of banks, treating them like Caesars, groveling over the likes of Jamie Dimon, Pandit and anything Goldman Sachs. Coming from the industry of finance, I can tell you without equivocation, NO ONE GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE C LEVEL JERK OFFS that you bow down to.

The resignation of Pandit should not stream across my teevee, reported by your stupid network ad nauseum, all-fucking-day-long.

You report on this resignation with such energy and passion as if it meant something. From Bartritomo to Cramer to that fucktard Pisani– all of you are guilty of wasting my fucking time. Shares of Citi are down 90% over the past 5 years. Pray tell me, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE ABOUT CITI?

I want you to tell me why 75% of your programming, on a day when the market is soaring by 125 points, is based around the fucking resignation of this guy!?

How about talking about the bullish trend in the rails or bankruptcy of AONE and how it might affect tonight’s debate? How about talking about the sudden and extreme decline in OSG or the break-outs in a number of tech stocks?

HOW ABOUT YOU TALK ABOUT COAL AND HOW IT IS A ROMNEY PLAY?

Are you even interested in educating or informing your fucking viewers, or slobbishly content with just pandering–sucking the dicks– of these fucking pig CEO’s who pay themselves with the blood of their shareholders?

SHAME ON YOUR HOUSE.

I almost feel bad about my exit point in OSG, having sold it when it was down 10-30 cents for the day. I am past that now and have my eyes set on another prize.

Gone are the lugubrious days of boat stocks and in with the era of coal. My largest positions are as follows: DDD, CLF and ESRX. For the day, I am up about 1.5%, with fresh allocations into APKT, FFIV and of course CLF.

My only downtrodden hooker stock is JIVE. The leash is getting exceedingly smaller with that one.

In the meantime, I get to enjoy the music of illegal mexicans, slapping each other in the faces with paint brushes, while listening to the mariachi. Mrs. Fly has been chatting with the cleaning lady for more than an hour and daily expenditures are still excess of $2,000.

On the bright side, stocks are in break-out mode and shorts are getting OSG’d in this bitch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iEfIOnTZbM

I took a big loss on OSG this morning. I did it because the stock sucks at a time when everything is running higher. Additionally, I took profits on ANR, effectively equating to a wash between the two sales from a p and l standpoint. It’s a shame to have a 30% winner in ANR reduced to nothing, all thanks to this fucking OSG. It makes no sense to lament over it, so it’s time to move on.

Speaking of losers, I sold out of ULTA, a small position of mine, for a wonderful 6% ding.

I doubled down in my FFIV and APKT positions, in order to defend my positions and reduce my cost basis.

Lastly, I bought a mammoth amount of CLF, essentially swapping one coal train for another. CLF is not as psychotic as ANR and offers a bigger institutional investor base.

The banks are reporting bullshit numbers. Ignore what the fucked faces on the teevee are saying. The numbers out of GS, C, JPM and WFC suggest businesses under duress due to BASEL III. ROE’s are fucked up and cash is not being utilized with any efficiency. Bank stocks are off limits to me— not because of risk, but lack of reward.

Tech has been a fucking mine field. Look at the share performance of INTC over the past quarter. Unless you have some sort of perverted passion for technology, it’s hard to feel good about tech investments.

For me, the basic material sector is pure, without trickery. It’s a straight forward proposition, minus all of the asinine earnings malarkey (extra Biden). If growth accelerates or central banks print money, basic materials will do well. Additionally, homebuilders have extreme momentum. Dare I say TOL, USG and ELLI are better investments than AAPL, SWKS and BRCM right now? I do indeud dare, AND MORE.

What is a sustainable long term investment thesis, with regards to human evolution?

Cleanliness.

Health.

Quality Food and Beverage.

The one constant in the evolution of humans is improvements in quality of life, minus the fucking dark ages of course. Generally speaking, people want to be cleaner, live longer and eat/drink better. Stocks like CL, ECL, KMB, UN, REGN, GILD, ALXN, WFM, HAIN, REED and PEP have done well because of the demand for improvements in quality of life. If you had to choose one investable theme for the long term, get your small brains around this and run with it.

To commemorate iBC’s 5th anniversary on 11/12/12, I am going to launch a contest– exclusive for the gents inside of 12631. During the month of March, PPT members enjoy exclusivity to the March Madness contest and $1,000 purse. From 11/12/12 to the end of the year, GAMES WILL BEGIN.

As of right now, I am 90% set on having players paired in teams of 2, with each player choosing one stock to be long or short for the duration. The percent gain/loss will be averaged over 2 players, with no eliminations along the way. That means the contest isn’t over until the very last day.

The purse (no homo) will be $2k, divided by two. Being that the 12631 member base is only in the hundreds, coupled with the fact that participation rate will likely be below 75%, the odds of winning a prize are fairly good–all things considered.

If you have any other ideas for sport and games, be sure to leave them on this thread. This will be your only chance to offer advice, for the remainder of your lives.

NOTE: In order to become a 12631 member, one must first belong to the club at The PPT.

I will not boast today, despite gaining 1.9% for the day. Instead, I will reserve myself and exercise a bit discretion, setting a good example for all of my fellow financial bloggers out there. It’s important to time one’s boasts with sublime precision, otherwise they’ll fall by the wayside (whatever the fuck that term means).

My gains were led by ANR and DDD. Funny shit, I am now UP on DDD, after absorbing a rather heinously expeditious 12% loss. JIVE and NAK were my only losers. I am at a loss for words that can aptly describe the sheer hatred and violent thoughts that I harbor for that company.

Coal is the only place to be right now. It’s trading with the Presidential elections. I suspect it will trade up again tomorrow, ahead of the debate, then sell off on Wednesday. I find myself +28% on my ANR position, greedily looking for more.

This chart is making the rounds today.

Back in the early days of QE2, the Zerohedge crowd doubted the fervor and ferocity of The Bearded Clam, up until the point when he swallowed the bears whole. Inevitably, this round of QE ends like the others, with equities +30% to the upside. By that time, myself and all of you who follow iBankCoin will be rich as fuck– spending money effortlessly on extravagant garments, eating extinct reptiles for dinner–things of that nature.

This website will be auctioned off, as a “piece of art” one of one, at Sotheby’s–netting me billions of dollars, all to be donated to charities for the rich and (power) hungry.

During this round of QE, the biggest winners will be the last year’s biggest losers. Coal names will lead the way higher, led by degeneracy in the shares of JRCC, CLF, ANR and ACI. Men will quit their desk jobs at GOOG to mine for coal in Appalachia.

Times are a changing. Are you prepared for it?

Put aside the market and look at the bigger picture. Greek, Portuguese, Spanish and Italian yields are now below crisis/bailout levels. Effectively, the impotent Europeans have cut the dicks off the bond bears, leaving everyone without penis. Stocks are within striking range of new highs and down days no longer include rumors of total and complete systemic melt downs.

All too often I see people in my industry tether personal happiness with the market. They judge themselves by the value of their accounts or the size of their checks. When things are bad, they’re depressed. When times are good, they’re arrogant pricks, but happy. I’ve seen many good people lose themselves in the market, turning it into a gambling habit instead of an avocation or occupation.

If you were just interested in making enough interest from your accounts to cover expenses, you’d behave differently, wouldn’t you? If you had $1m in stocks and only required $100k per annum in free cash flow for expenses, your investment theme or structure should reflect that, no? As a manager of other people’s money, I tend to be very conservative with my personal money, sans my aggressive trading account. After all, my livelihood is already linked to the success/failures of my clients. To take the revenue generated from that business and toss it into stocks would be juvenile, unnecessarily leveraging myself to the superfluities of a manipulated stock market. A few years back I made a phenomenal amount of money and an outrageous percentage gain (+900%) gambling in my personal/aggressive account–with the help of leverage and derivatives. The very next year the account was nearly cut in half, simply conforming to the laws of averages. It became a distraction for me, so I closed out the account and bought a house with the proceeds.

If you are down and out because of the market, cheer the fuck up; it’s only money. I say this with great experience, having been raised without money, made a fortune, lost a fortune and made it back again. Life is filled with possibilities. So many times I’ve felt a sense of doom, stemming from failures in the market. Things have a way of working out, providing one is willing to keep fighting, mind you.

There is a reason why I say “The Fly” wins all the time, even when he appears to be losing badly. I never quit or lose confidence in my abilities to make money; hence, the prophecies of The Fly continue to reveal timeless truths to the masses of the internets and others who happen to cross my path.

Fuck Sprint and the Japanese horse it rode in on. Once again the market is addled by milquetoast pussies, selling into rallies because that’s what milquetoast pussies do. What am I supposed to do, sit here and watch everything drop, tick by tick, because I have a bullish disposition?

Futures are higher. But it’s child’s play, frankly. There isn’t much to be excited over, particularly when coming off of a -3% drubbing on Friday. My world, for lack of a better word, is crumbling around me–all thanks and praise to the fucktards who are selling my stocks.

Back to basics: look for momentum and follow it. When the momentum swings the other way, adjust by taking losses and wait for the mean reversion Gods to step in, taking you higher once again. I didn’t take profits on Thursday and I should have. In fairness to my cause, I could not have predicted OSG, JIVE and ANR catastrophes were set to occur the very next day. Nevertheless, they did and I now find myself with my dick in my hand (no Gyp Rosetti) and nothing to show for it.