18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Remember this Oversold signal?
Here is the track record for the oversold signal, determined by our algorithms, over the past 12 months.
2. The new GARP index is coming out next week.
3. Prices for The PPT, 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict are scheduled to go up by 20%, effective 1/1/14 (you have until midnight to lock in the lower, miserly, rates). If you are a member before 1/1/14, your rates will be locked in and unaffected by egregious actions.
By the way, Seeking Alpha continues to defecate themselves with AMBA spiraling higher.
One of the added features to The PPT is the GARP index (growth at a reasonable price). I added this feature last year after people requested to have some longer term ideas thrown at them from my penthouse apartment. Over the past year, the GARP index returned in excess of 30%, excluding dividends. The chart got messed up after we updated the index in June; but it still tells the story.
The index is comprised of 15 stocks, diversified amongst the 10 principle sectors. It is updated only twice per annum, once in January and again in June. Here are the 6 month results of the current members.
I’ve been researching for the new 2014 GARP index for more than a month and will be unveiling it after pagan Xmas.
I’ve got news to report to you. But first, let me tell you about my new fascination with dumping coconut oil into the blackest of black coffee available to me. I take said coffee and drop a tablespoon of greasy coconut oil into it and then I drink it. Some of us about these parts fancy to drop a stick or two of butter into said beverage. However, I am not at that level just yet. For now, I remain steadfast in my belief that this concoction of greasy blackness will continue to provide me with the energy of a rabid animal.
After I devour the contents of the prescription mentioned above, I head to the gym and try to give myself a hernia. My muscles are as hard as concrete cinderblocks and I can crush your jaws into dust with just a singular punch.
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In other news, as Chairman of the iBankCoin Reserve, regrettably, the time has come to raise rates on all premium services on iBankCoin, effective midnight on 12/31/13. As you know, our suite of products, The PPT, 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict, are significantly discounted compared to our peers, who are inferior by all measures.
DO NOT PANIC, for current members will be “grandfathered in” at the olde fashioned, miserly, rates.
The new, and very affordable, cost for all the above products will be as follows:
As you can see, I’ve been very generous to you all by keeping rates low for an extended period of time, giving the economy a chance to rebound. However, all good things come to an end and the good folks at iBC have an Orbital Space Cannon (OSC) to develop (for offensive purposes only). While some of my “competitors” like to flaunt about the Caribbean amidst diamonds and fast automobiles, I remain stoically reserved in my chambers planning world domination.
I give many thanks to the thousands of people who’ve joined our army over the years and appeal to your good nature to accept this news with a grain of salt. Be quick about joining our ranks and lock in the low, miserly, rates now– and you too might galavant about 5 star hotels and lavish your lady friends with minks and other fine items, all bequeathed to you by the brain trust at iBankCoin, working under slavish conditions for the benefit of mankind.
If it wasn’t happening to me, I’d say it was a lie. I made almost 4% today, following yesterday’s 1.7% lift. I am within a hair of new annual highs and it couldn’t come at a better time. Even more impressive is the insanity taking place over at After Hours with Option Addict. Coming off his 2,000% gain in TWTR calls, he just made another 500% in SCTY. Let me not subtract anything away from the boys at 12631 by not mentioning their excellence in running an extremely efficient and profitable real time trading room as well.
Every cylinder that I can ask for are running now, with extreme horsepower, plowing over the faces of disgruntled men like Jennifer.
I took on a new position in LITB today–because I’m into chinese lottery. I also added to an already large RBCN position, in hopes that it squeezes higher into the New Year. As for BALT: what can I say? The stock is at a new 52 week high and I buy some almost every day. There’s no point in repeating my Fly Buys each and every day. You get the drift.
It’s worth mentioning, I still have a Herculean sized position in GIMO and OWW too. I am 145% stretched long, into what I consider to be a lay up trading scenario.
Sure, don’t listen to the guy at York Capital, managing $20 billion or the guy who blogs from the comfort of a time machine. Instead, heed the warnings of some guy named Jennifer.
Yields are going up, especially the 10 year, as it approaches 3%. Wall Street fears 3%, as it is the lynchpin or tipping point between the Gilded Era we live in now and complete and total despair, tragedy, and financial terrorism.
Futures are down 8. Wall Street forgot every single thing Bernanke said yesterday.
On December 11th 2013, The PPT disseminated an oversold reading to her members. Those who were learned men, gentlemen of community in good standing, adhered to the basic principles of the algorithm and injected their portfolios with cocaine. According to the new trading programme that I unveiled here the other day, something of a late channukah, early pagan Xmas gift to all of you, the trade is to be long, very long, shares of TNA, not to be confused with “tits and ass”–not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I am going to inebriate myself this weekend, in celebration of life, as well as Mrs. Fly’s birthday. Being that she still espouses the viewpoints of the prohibitionists, in all of its puritanical tyranny, I hope she appreciates my candor when I say: “I am going to get inebriated this weekend, dear.”
Santa Ben and his elves at the Federal Reserve doused the fields of battle with flammables today. It is now our duty to light the match and watch the shorts scurry about in search of water, as they melt, every so slowly, into the New Year.
